一个头两个大（2000）

我可否打个尖，我有急事
Hey! You mind if l get ahead of you? l’m in a wicked rush.
随便 – 你真是大好人
Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead. – You’re a doll.
孩子！来这里，快
Hey, kids! Over here! Now!
叫你们跟着我的
Didn’t l tell you to stay with me?
我们吓吓你
We’re gonna rock you
（顽癣膏）
顽癣膏？
VagiClean, huh?
甜心，哪里患了顽癣？痒痒难受？
What’s the matter, honey? Little extra cheese on the taco?
什么？ – 没什么
Excuse me? – No, excuse me.
没有印价钱
There’s no tag on this.
第五行，查顽癣膏的售价？
Price check on VagiClean, aisle five.
再说一次，查顽癣膏的售价，在第五行
l repeat: price check on VagiClean, aisle five.
是顽癣膏
That’s VagiClean.
客人有香港脚，要买♥♥这药膏
We got a customer with a fallopian fungus.
用后周身有酸味
She’s baking bread and l think it’s sourdough.
快点去查
Put a rush on that.
大块头，听到消息吗？
Hey, big guy. Did you hear the news?
我儿子比利担任高中歌♥舞剧主角
My son Billy got the lead in the high- school musical.
他一定是女人型
Well, l guess he likes the cock after all.
还在街中玩？ – 查理，我告诉我爹
Still wanna skip rope in the street? – l’ll tell my daddy, Charlie!
答错了，丑八怪，我叫汉克
Wrong answer. And the name’s Hank, fuckface.
♪♪背诵背诵台词♪♪
Reciting memorized lines
♪♪我不适合碰♪♪
And l’m not fit to touch
♪♪你衣服的下摆♪♪
The hem of your garment
♪♪不，不，我不适合碰♪♪
No, no, l’m not fit to touch
♪♪你衣服的下摆♪♪
The hem of your garment
♪♪我没有爱，只有目的♪♪
l have no love but only goals
♪♪我的灵魂多么空虚♪♪
How very empty is my soul
♪♪它是一个容易杀人的灵魂♪♪
lt is a soul that could easily kill
♪♪我不适合碰♪♪
And l’m not fit to touch. . .
迪克，你的车来了，替你泊好
There you go, Dick. l parked it for you.
还有…
By the way,
你的车头灯坏了
you got a headlight out.
很好味
That looks good.
拿着，局长 – 多谢你，马琴
There you go, Colonel. – Very good, Malcolm. Thank you.
局长，查理有麻烦了
Colonel, something’s wrong with Charlie.
1- X到1- 12 – 1- 12回应
1 – X to 1 – 1 2. – 1 – 1 2 responding.
当然，这类事情不多
Of course, there’s not much about this sort of thing
罗德岛警局处理过这种事
in the Rhode lsland State Police manual.
因此送他去波士顿见心理医生
So they sent him up to Boston to see a team of highly trained head doctors.
他们很快找到病因
They quickly identified the problem.
你体内有根螺丝松了
You got a major screw loose.
医生断定你人格分♥裂♥
Doctors have diagnosed you as having a “split personality.”
精神分♥裂♥
A schizo.
我记不起有过这种行为 – 根据报告，
l don’t remember this. – That’s because, according to that report,
做这种行为的不是你，是另一个人
it wasn’t you that this was happening to. lt was this other guy.
汉克
Hank.
他说他叫汉克 – 他想占据你
Said his name was Hank. – And apparently Hank is trying to get out.
为何说占据？
Trying to get out? What do you mean “get out”?
怎么入我体内？ – 你创造他
How did he get in? – You created him.
用来逃避问题，查理
By not dealing with your problems, Charlie.
自从…
Ever since. . .
你一直逃避，不敢与人面对
Well, you know. You’ve been avoiding confrontation.
但这家伙… – 汉克
But this guy inside. – Hank.
他没有，医生认为你出于必要…创造这人
He doesn’t. Doctors feel that you’ve created this character out of necessity.
你不懂得自卫
You never stick up for yourself.
查理，为何莎娜离开时不放假？
Charlie, why didn’t you take a vacation when Layla left?
为何要放假？
Why would l?
你知个中原因？每天都有女人抛弃丈夫
You know, wives leave their husbands every day in this country.
为何交♥警♥少一个人？
That’s no reason to short- change the department.
我没有病
l mean, it’s not like l had the flu. . .
有吃药吗？
Have you picked up your medication?
我对医生结果不大信任，吃了很口干
l’m really not crazy about it, though. lt makes me so dry.
记住吃药
You have to take it anyway.
罗宾医生吩咐的，如果吃药，会好的
Dr. Rabinowitz assures us, if you do, everything’ll be fine.
无法无天
This is a bunch of crap!
难怪不能成为大州，目光浅窄
No wonder you’re the smallest state. Little mind, little state.
应降格成罗德区，欢迎发表意见
Shouldn’t even be a state. Should be a district.
可否将这鬼东西拿走？
Can you take these goddamn things off?
可否别眼光光望着我的屁♥股♥？
And could you stop looking at my ass!
普里查德，什么事？
Pritchard, what’s going on here?
上校，她叫沃特斯，艾琳
Well, Colonel, her name’s Waters, lrene P .
我截停她的车，她车尾灯坏了
l pulled her over on 95 for a broken tail light.
我开了罚单，发现纽约通缉她
l ran a check. She’s got an outstanding warrant in New York.
肇事逃逸？- 肇事逃逸
Hit and run? – Hit and run.
那受伤的行人向警方报案
lnjured pedestrian signed the complaint.
记不起，完全荒谬
Well, l think l might remember that. That is ridiculous.
一生人未试过车祸
l’ve never been in an accident. Not in my whole life.
我与纽约州巡警通过电♥话♥
Well, l’ve just gotten off the phone with the New York State Patrol.
他们说指控有根有据
They don’t seem to think it’s so ridiculous.
听着，我怎能… – 五月二十日你在纽约曼沙纳？
Look. . . How can we fix. . . – Were you in Massena last Friday?
我住在那里，但没有交通意外
Well, yeah, l live there. But l didn’t have any accident.
当时驾车去博克岛找我姐姐
l’m just driving down to Block lsland to see my sister.
你不像坏人，用书信解释这事
You seem like a nice guy. ls there any way that you might let me handle this by mail or. . .
对不起，你无须向我解释
Unfortunately, Miss Waters, l’m not the one you have to convince.
若是弄错了，我要去曼沙纳交待
lf there’s been a mistake, you have to clear it up in Massena.
什么？是别人弄错了
What? Because of somebody else’s mistake,
却要我驾车回纽约？
l have to get in my car and drive all the way back to upstate New York?
不是
No, ma’am.
有警员陪你去
We’ll have one of our troopers escort you.
大老细，关掉你的电♥话♥
Hey, Hollywood, turn your fucking phone off.
蠢材
Yeah? – You’re an asshole.
艾琳，怎么了？
Oh, hello, lrene. What’d l do now?
我在罗德岛警局
Listen, l’m at a police station in Rhode lsland.
说我犯事，要送我回曼沙纳
They’re shipping me back to Massena on some bogus crap.
你知内情？ – 完全不知
Sound familiar? – l don’t have a clue
你说什么？ – 迪克，别吹牛
what you’re talking about. – Dickie! Cut the bullshit!
听着，我跟你一刀两断
Listen to me, OK? lt’s over, Dickie. lt’s over.
别再烦我
So please just stop messing with me
叫你的老友别烦我，好吗？
and call your friends and tell them to back off, OK?
我是老实人
Look, l’m being a straight shooter.
有需要，我帮你
lf you need help, l’ll help you.
说详尽点
Just give me all the details and l’ll get to the bottom of it.
纽约的曼沙纳？靠近加拿大
Massena, New York! Goddamn, Daddy! That’s near Canada!
我知道，不是我的主意
l know, l know. Wasn’t my idea.
我送那女孩北上
l gotta take this gal up north,
然后放假一周
and then the colonel ordered me to take a week’s vacation.
一周太长了
A week’s a long motherfucking time.
要休息一下，适应药力
He wants me to rest while l’m getting used to the medication.
哦，来吧。你不用担心我们，爸爸。我们现在长大了
Oh, come on. You don’t have to worry about us, Daddy. We’re grown up now.
这两个衰人买♥♥菜，由我煮
These two can do the shopping. l’ll do the cooking.
你煮饭，你懂个屁
You do the cooking? Man, you thought you got chipped beef from a toothy blow job!
我会叫桑达减低四百磅，算了
You’re gonna have Shonté Junior down or under goddamn 400lb. Fuck that.
不会有事
Can’t have that happen. OK, guys.
我明天走，十一时后不准会女友
l’m not leaving till the morning, but you know the rules: no bitches after eleven.
爹，知道了
All right, Pops. – Yeah, man.
爹爹，别担心 – 我爱你，爹爹
Got you, Papa. – Love you, Daddy!
（仙达溪乡村俱乐部）
这个艾琳是什么人？
So who the hell’s this lrene honey anyway?
她过去两年为我工作
She worked for me the past two years.
聘她做球场总监，我们关系密切
l hired her to be my golf- course superintendent. We got close.
你真笨
No, you got stupid !
为了狗屁的爱情，这些是可以绞死你的活结，迪克
For the love of shit, these are the loose ends that can hang you, Dickie!
我也是
And me too!
她知道多少？
How much does she know?
可能偷听到一些内情
She might have gotten wind of some things.
要看看她知道多少
Yeah, well, we’re gonna find out.
报案人叫彼德森
The complaint was signed by a guy named Peterson.
环保署人员 – 环保署？很容易使钱买♥♥通
He’s with the EPA. – EPA? l thought they were in our pocket.
并非每个人都受贿
Well, not all of ’em.
查理虽不大同意上司的话
Even though Charlie didn’t wholeheartedly agree with the top brass,