我和厄尔以及将死的女孩

麦迪森 你来这干嘛
Madison, why are you here?
瑞秋说我能在这儿找到你…
Rachel said that I could find you here…
你的电♥话♥又直接转语♥音♥信箱了
and your phone was going straight to voice mail.
多半因为这里没有信♥号♥♥
Probably ’cause there ain’t no good service down there!
但我想来跟你说个事
But I had to get here ’cause I had to let you know.
我去看望瑞秋 送她慰问卡…
So, I was visiting Rachel, and I was giving her a card…
然后她正在看你们的秘密电影
and she was watching one of your secret movies.
天啊 你不会也看了吧
Oh, my God. Wait, did you see any of it?
没有 我一进去她就关了
No! No, she turned it off immediately.
拍得挺好的 真的
It was good, it was good.
你们两个都扮演日本人…
You know, you’re both Japanese, and…
厄尔将你斩首 就看到这
Earl beheaded you, and, but then,
她就把电影关了
she, like, turned it off.
但是我有个想法 有一个很赞的想法
But I had a brainstorm. Okay? I had an amazing brainstorm.
我觉得…你得为瑞秋拍部片子
I realized… you need to make a film for Rachel.
你怎么想
What do you think?
肯定会成为她的心头最爱…
It would be like her favorite thing in the entire world…
也会是你能做的最重要的事
and it’s like the most important thing you could do.
你一定得答应
You have to do it.
好吧 考虑下
Yeah, word.
“考虑下” 意思是你同意了
“Word”? Like, word, you’ll do it, word?
是的
Yep.
天啊 太好了
Oh, my God, awesome!
那什么 我迫不及待想看你的成片了
Okay, well, I can’t wait to see it.
好了 我得走了 不过…
Um, okay, I gotta go, but…
停机
Cut!
我胡说的
That’s a wrap!
继续拍
Rolling!
大咪♥咪♥
Titties.
妈的
Goddamn it!
接下来的几周
In the next few weeks,
我开始拍摄那部片子了吗 并没有
did I start making that movie? No.
因为我并没答应拍这部片
Because I didn’t agree to make that movie.
我只是说”考虑下”
All I said was, “Word.”
“考虑”也可以是什么意义都没有
“Word” could mean anything.
而且至少还有一两个月
Plus, we had at least a month or two…
瑞秋才能看完我们拍过的烂片
before she’d ran through all the terrible films we’d already made.
比如”袜条橙子”
For example, A Sockwork Orange.
“古歌♥”
“Droogle”?
是古惑仔用的谷歌♥
It’s Google for droogs.
那是什么
What’s that?
没什么 只是我的一块心病
Nothing, just the bane of my existence.
我妈妈♥逼♥我一直带着这本书
Which my mom is forcing me to carry around
除非我开始申请大学
until I apply to some colleges.
她说这像份菜单
She says it’s like a menu
写满我的未来 我想说”是啊
for my future, and I was, like, “Sure.
里面的菜品只会
A menu that only has food
在接下来四年里给我带来羞辱”
that will humiliate me for four years.”
在上大学的问题上 你能不能别那么傻
You have to be less of an idiot about college.
听着 如果你觉得大家不会喜欢你…
Listen, even if you think people won’t like you…
当然这个想法本身就很荒唐…
which is literally an insane thing to think…
你在大学里曝光要少多了
you’re way less exposed to people in college.
高中一周40小时课
High school is 40 hours of class a week.
在大学里就只有15到20小时
College is, like, 15 and 20.
如果你不想与人合住
And if you don’t want to live with other people,
可以去匹兹堡州立大学
then go to Pittsburgh State.
可以住家里
Live at home.
总好过放弃大学
It’s better than sitting college out
就为了你莫名的自我厌恶吧
because you irrationally hate yourself.
不是没有原因的
Not irrationally, though.
申请匹兹堡州立大学吧
Apply to Pittsburgh State.
现在就申请 早点申请
Right now. Apply early.
来 当着我的面申请匹兹堡州立
Come on. Do it in front of me. Apply to Pittsburgh State.
我要是说不呢
What if I say no?
我癌症四期了
I have stage four cancer.
所以你要是拒绝的话 你就是个混♥蛋♥
So that would be a pretty dick move. Come on.
好吧
Fine.
“为什么我想…上大学
“Why I want to go… to college.
申请人 韦纳·荷索[“陆上行舟”导演]
By Werner Herzog.
入学条件苛刻的
The highly selective
招生过程…
admissions process…
筛掉了残忍♥和愚蠢的学生
weeds out the cruel and the stupid.
所以大学并不像高中一样…
So college is unlike the senseless chaos…
充斥着混乱无序和病态罪行
and sickening enormity of high school.
高中就像恶魔的嘴巴…
High school is the mouth of a great demon…
撕咬和咀嚼
biting and chewing
将人们折磨得体无完肤
and smushing people in the face.
令人无法反抗
It is simply overwhelming.
严肃地说
In all seriousness,
我很期待大学生活…
I am looking forward to college…
因为我很不适应高中的环境
because I didn’t really fit in in high school,
因为我长得像一只耗子…”
because of my weird rodent face…”
才没有
No.
“还有说蠢话的习惯”
“and a habit of saying the dumbest possible shit.”
胡说
No!
“我那发青的面色…
“The sheer pastiness of my complexion…
让人看了就想吐”
overwhelms all who behold it with existential nausea.”
“在高中 我内心深处从未…
“In high school, I never truly felt comfortable…
真正感到舒适
in my own skin.
事实上 我是那种…
In fact, I’ve always been someone…
并不真心喜爱自己的人
who doesn’t really like themselves.
但那是因为我自认还有成长的空间…
But I think that’s because I have some growing up to do…
而大学正为我提供了这样一个舞台”
and college is the place where I’m going to do it.”
这也太私人了吧
That’s way too personal.
本来就是个人申请书啊
It’s personal essay.
行 你是不是还想看这个…
Fine, if you want to see this again…
好吧 服了你
Okay! Okay!
但只是因为你得了癌症
But only because cancer.
你猜怎么着 你也得跟我一样去申请大学
And you know what? You have to do this too now. Here.
翻翻这部可怕的大厚书
Page through this huge, horrible book
找到你心仪的大学
and find some colleges.
这部书归你了
That’s yours now.
唔 就像是写满你未来的菜单
Mmm. It’s like a menu for your future.
我能先看完电影吗
Can I finish my movie first?
我会找个角落
I’ll find a place somewhere in the corner
在那虚掷剩下的光阴
I’m gonna waste the rest of my days
就那样静静地看着窗外
Just watching patiently from the window
等着某日季节交替
Just waiting seasons change someday
哦 哦 我的梦会把你
Oh, oh, my dreams will pull you
拉过那座花♥园♥的门
through that garden gate
我想做那四处游荡的水手
I want to be the wandering sailor
月光映出我俩的影子
We’re silhouettes by the light of the moon
我坐在窗边玩着单人游戏
I sit playing solitaire by the window
等着某日季节交替 啊哈
Just waiting Seasons change, aha
等着瞧 某一天
You’ll see, one day
那些梦想会把你拉进我的门
These dreams will pull you through my door
而我会跑过来拴住你的鞋
And I’ll come running to tie your shoe
而我会跑过来拴住你的鞋
I’ll come running to tie your shoe
而我会跑过来拴住你的鞋
I’ll come running to tie your shoe
而我会跑过来拴住你的鞋
I’ll come running to tie your shoe
如果我们拍了这部电影
So, if we make this film,
大家会像这样
people are gonna be, like:
“哦 格雷戈和厄尔
“Oh, Greg and Earl,
他们就是那俩拍电影的怪人
they’re those weird filmmakers.
总是神经兮兮地乱拍
They’re always creepily filming stuff.
也许有天晚上他们会溜进你家
They’ll probably sneak into your house one night
拍你睡觉的样子”
and film you while you’re sleeping.”
但是大家可能已经这么想了
But people probably already think that,
-都怪你给瑞秋看那些蠢片子 -这真难吃
-’cause you gave Rachel those stupid films. -This is nasty as hell.
现在我变得那么多疑
So now, I’ve become completely conspicuous,