我和厄尔以及将死的女孩

You can’t escape this stinking place…
因为不知道他们何时会来电♥话♥…
because you don’t know when they call you…
而且你签了合同拿了工资 这真是蠢话
’cause you are under contract and you’re paid to be here, it’s bullshit.
是的 就是这种感觉
Yeah, and it’s like, you know,
我什么都做不了 我不是自♥由♥之身…”
I can’t do anything. I’m not a free person…”
说实话 这是你们作品里我最喜欢的一部
Truly, one of my favorites from your oeuvre.
对暴♥力♥大自然成熟的研究
A mature investigation into the nature of violence.
老爸 我说了一万次了
Dad, for like the billionth time,
你不能看我们的电影
you’re not allowed to watch these.
我是粉丝好嘛
I’m a fan.
你又要去见那个女孩了吗
You gonna go see that girl again?
是啊 大概是的
I mean, probably, yeah.
你要玩她的咪♥咪♥吗
You’re gonna play with them titties?
不 不是那样的关系
No. It’s not like that.
这就不对了
Well, that’s not right.
这可能是她在世上最后一次有机会
I mean, this could be her last chance on Earth
和男人在一起
to be with a man.
别装作事不关己的样子
Don’t make this about you.
厄尔
Earl!
首先 她要是那么容易死
First of all, if it’s that high-stakes,
我估计都不能勃起
probably won’t even be able to get a boner.
我提到勃起了吗
Did I even say shit about boners?
没有
No.
急性髓细胞白血病到底是个什么癌症
What kind of cancer even is acute myelogenous leukemia?
就是癌症 呃…
You know, cancer of the, uh…
的一种
the thing.
“全是蠢话”
“It’s bullshit!”
安提耶坦之战是美国历史上
The Battle of Antietam was the bloodiest day
最血腥的一战
in American history.
同学们 你们有什么要说的
Class, what do you have to say for yourselves?
尊重科研
Respect the research.
就是这样
That is what I’m talking about!
好了 赶紧逃命吧
All right, run for your lives.
性命要紧 走吧 走吧
Save yourselves. Go, go, go, go, go.
干得漂亮 各位
Good work today, everybody.
巴姆 走吧 爱你 干得漂亮
Way to go. Bam. Love it. Good stuff.
干得好 今天表现很棒
Good job. Excellent work today.
-很棒 干得漂亮 -嘿 我可以和你谈谈吗
-Excellent. Nice job. -Hey, can I talk to you?
能耽误你几分钟吗
Can I talk to you for a second?
当然 格雷戈 怎么了
Sure, Greg, what’s up?
呃 你知道什么是白血病吗
Uh, do you know any facts about leukemia?
白血病
Leukemia?
知道 这是一种血液和/或骨髓的癌症
Yeah, it’s a cancer of the blood and/or bone marrow.
怎么了
Why?
所以这种癌症是全身性的
Right, so it’s pretty spread out in the body?
是的 就是这样
That is a fact, yes.
人要是得了多久会死
How soon do people die from it?
这种病治愈可能性很大 老兄
I think it’s often pretty treatable, bud.
问这个干嘛
Why do you ask?
你知道瑞秋·库什纳得了白血病吧
Well, you know Rachel Kushner has leukemia, right?
等等 瑞秋得了什么
Wait, Rachel has what?
我真是蠢出新高度了
I’m, like, innovatively stupid.
大家早晚会知道的
Everyone was gonna find out sooner or later.
只是不喜欢被迫跟人分享我的一切
Just hate having to share everything about myself.
我也是这样
I’m the exact same way.
你要是不想和人说话
You know, one thing you can do
你可以做件事…
if you don’t want to talk to anyone…
那就是进入扭曲状态
is just enter a subhuman state.
像这样 你装成很烦的人
Here, pretend you’re someone annoying.
“嗨 瑞秋
“Hi, Rachel.
听说你得了癌症我很难过”
I’m really sorry you have cancer.”
这会有用吗
Does that ever work?
当然 每次都有用
Yeah, of course. It works all the time.
这叫非暴♥力♥不合作
It’s called passive resistance.
就是甘地使的那一招
You know, that’s what Gandhi was all about.
甘地肯定没用过扭曲状态这招
I’m pretty sure Gandhi never did the subhuman thing.
这招让印度独♥立♥了呢 快试试
That’s how India achieved statehood. Here, try it.
才不
Nope.
来吧 很简单的
Come on, it’s easy.
好吧 你还可以做件事
Okay. Or another thing you can do is just
就是直接装死
flat-out pretend to be dead.
来烦我
Say something annoying to me.
嗯…
Um…
“嘿 瑞秋 希望你能记住
“Hey, Rachel. I just want you to remember
你的癌症是上帝的安排”
that your cancer is all part of God’s plan.”
嘿 混球
Hey, asshole.
对 看过来
Yeah, over here.
那我就直言不讳了
Just so we’re straight on this,
你建议一个身患癌症的姑娘…
you’re advising a girl with cancer…
去装死
to pretend to be dead.
不 说真的
No, seriously.
想想你在干嘛呢 傻♥逼♥
Think about what you’re doing here, dickhead.
我忧郁的金刚狼脸
I’ve been doing my broody Wolverine face on
被贴在这姑娘的墙上…
this girl’s wall…
已经五年零三个月了
for five and a quarter years,
而现在 我还贴在这里…
and at this point, I’m probably only still here…
多半因为她要是把我撕下来
because she’d feel weirdly guilty
会觉得愧疚和背叛了我
or disloyal taking me down.
但要是我让你这个蠢货
But I’m goddamned if I’m letting
就这么大摇大摆进来胡说八道…
a little punk like you waltz in here…
那我就真该死了
stupiding up the place!
我可看着你呢 老弟
Not on my watch, pal.
格雷戈 怎么了
Greg, what’s wrong?
真的很抱歉
I’m really sorry.
我不应该叫你去装死
I shouldn’t have told you to pretend to be dead.
太没分寸了
That was really insensitive.
我是病了 又不是要死了
I mean, I’m sick. I’m not dying.
我知道 但是我…
Yeah, I know, but I just…
我觉得这样太奇怪了
Now I’m being all weird about it.
而且没法变得不奇怪 因为…
And I can’t get un-weird, ’cause I just…
尽管你那么说
despite what you said,
但我还是坐在这想着…
I’m clearly still sitting here thinking…
“死亡 死亡 死亡 死亡”
“death, death, death, death, death, death.”
我说的就是那样
That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
假如这是一个浪漫爱情故事…
So if this was a touching romantic story…
此刻我们应该会有一种全新的情感
this is probably where a new feeling
冲上头脑…
would wash over me…
然后彼此对望 突然间开始疯狂地亲热…
and our eyes would meet and suddenly we would be furiously making out…
干柴烈火
with the fire of a thousand suns.
但是这不是浪漫爱情故事
But this isn’t a touching romantic story.
-就这样…-对
-Anyway… -Yep.
但是我们还是成为了朋友
But we did still become friends.
丹尼尔·克雷格的问题在于他有口音 对吗
Daniel Craig’s thing is, he’s got an accent, right?
所以他说话口型很奇怪…
So he’s used to talking with his mouth in a weird shape…
因此他有个翘嘴巴 像个女人
which is why he has pouty lips, like a woman.
舔屏高科技 比如我可以把三明治用短♥信♥发给你
Lickable technology, like, I could text you a sandwich.
在他脖子后面的皮肤下有个按钮
There’s a button on the nape of his neck, under the skin.
想要他闭嘴 就去按一下
Just push it if you want him to stop.
你相信吗 有动物和我们住在一起
Do you believe animals just live in our house,
而家里人都没有意见
and everyone’s cool with it?
而且是真的动物哦
Like, real animals?
算了 该你说了
Anyway. You talk now.
你是说 谈癌症
You mean, talk about cancer?
要是你想说就说吧
Only if you want to.
最难过的就是看着我妈
The hardest part is watching my mom
极力去处理这一切
trying to deal with it all.
有时候我会想 万一最后
And sometimes, I mean, I do think if it ends up
独留她一人在家…
that she’s alone in that house…
她孤身一人了 她和我爸爸互相憎恨
She has no one. She and my dad hate each other.
她也没有兄弟姐妹
She has no siblings.
我不知道她能怎么办