我和厄尔以及将死的女孩

你今天去检测/考试吗
Your test was today?
呃 考试 我可以体会
Ugh. Tests! I’ve been there.
哦 天啊
Oh, God.
这病严重吗
Is that serious?
他们在做各种各样的检测
They’re doing all kinds of tests.
尽一切方法
They’re doing everything they can.
还不知道病情如何
They just don’t know.
哦 这真糟
Man, that sucks.
没错
You’re right.
真糟
It sucks.
糟透了
It sucks really bad.
不能更糟了
It sucks quite a bit.
是的
Yeah.
爸 老猫斯蒂芬在挠我
Dad, Cat Stevens is clawing me.
他非常心烦意乱
Well, he’s deeply distraught.
我刚刚和蒂尼斯打电♥话♥的时候…
Well, you know, I was talking to Denise…
她觉得你有可能…
and Denise feels that you might be someone…
能让瑞秋高兴点
who could make Rachel feel better.
但是就像我说的
Yeah, but like I said,
我们并不是非常熟 所以…
we’re not really friends, so…
你就打个电♥话♥给瑞秋
Just give Rachel a call.
那你想让我说点什么
Yeah, well, what do you want me to say?
“嗨 我是格雷戈 就是那个
“Hey, it’s Greg, the guy who’s
从没注意过你的人…
never really paid attention to you…
但是现在你得了癌症 所以一起玩玩吧”
but now you have cancer, so let’s hang out”?
那样可不行
That’s not gonna work.
她会觉得你是在讽刺她
She’ll think you’re being sarcastic.
你是想说你就不能
Are you telling me you can’t do
为别人做一件好事
one nice thing for another person?
说真的 是这样吗 真的是这样吗
I mean, honestly, is that really what’s happening here?
好吧 我打
Fine. Okay.
求你们了 别再翻我的东西
Just, please don’t go through my stuff.
不然我也会去翻你们的东西
Or I’ll start going through your stuff.
祝你和卫生棉过得愉快
I hope you like tampons.
这里是调频90 5匹兹堡中部电台…
It’s Central Pittsburgh on 90.5…
我是瑞秋
This is Rachel.
嘿 我是格雷戈·盖恩斯
Hey, it’s Greg Gaines.
嗨
Hi.
哟
Yo!
我打给了医生…
So, I called a doctor…
他说你需要格雷戈-嘧啶处方药
he said you needed a prescription of Greg-acil.
那是什么
What’s that?
唔…
Uh…
就是我啊
It’s me.
是方便服用的胶囊型
In convenient gel-tab form.
哦
Oh.
嗯
Yeah.
所以 我猜你听说我生病了
So, I guess you heard I’m sick.
是的
Yeah.
是我妈妈告诉你的吗
Did my mom tell you?
唔 是我妈妈告诉我的
Um, well, my mom told me.
哦
Oh.
那么 唔…
So, um…
什么
What?
什么
What?
你想要说什么
What were you gonna say?
唔…
Um…
格雷戈 什么事
Greg, what?
唔 好吧 我就是打来看看
Uh, yeah, I was just calling to see
你想不想出去玩
if you wanted to hang out.
现在
Right now?
对啊 当然
Um, sure.
不了 谢谢
No, thanks.
哦
Oh.
好吧 这么说你不想出去
Okay, so you don’t wanna hang out?
不想 谢了
No. Thanks anyways.
好吧 唔 拜
Okay. Um, bye.
拜拜
Bye.
妈 你在干什么
Mom, what are you doing?
好了 妈 听着 她不想见我
Okay, Mom, listen, she doesn’t want to see me.
我不想这么和你说但 格雷戈里…
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, Gregory…
在这件事情上
that you do not have a choice
你别无选择
in this particular matter.
妈 拜托 你听我说完
Mom, please, let me say one thing for one second.
你获得了一个机会
You have been given an opportunity
可以确实改变别人的人生
to make a very real difference in someone’s life.
如果你选择在家里
And if what you’re choosing instead
整天无所事事…
is to lie around the house all day…
她不想见我
She doesn’t want to see me!
那我只能介入…
I will be required to step in…
我们都不是朋友
We’re not even friends!
告诉你这完全不可接受
and inform you that that is 100% unacceptable.
你不停唠叨快把我逼疯了
Your nonstop stream of words is making me freak out!
要是你认为你编造的任何借口
And if you think that all these excuses you’re making
会好过…
are in any way better…
或者重要过身患癌症的
or more important, than the happiness
女孩的幸福…
of a girl with cancer…
妈 我要进入扭曲状态了
Mom! I am now entering a subhuman state.
那人还是你的朋友
a friend with cancer,
那你就错得太可悲了 朋友
you are sadly mistaken, my friend.
你要去拿起电♥话♥
You are going to pick up that phone.
然后再给瑞秋打一个过去
You’re going to call Rachel again.
你要这么做 必须这么做
You are going to. You are going to.
哦 格雷戈
Oh, Greg.
哦 库什纳太太
Oh, Mrs. Kushner.
格雷戈 叫我蒂尼斯
Denise, Greg.
对你来说我就是蒂尼斯 好吗
To you, I’m Denise, okay?
哦 好的 好
Oh, okay. Good.
你真是个好孩子 你知道吗
You’re a real good kid, you know that?
你真是个好孩子 你有着广阔的胸怀
You really are. You just have a big heart.
你很善良 友善
You’re kind, nice.
我非常欣赏
I really appreciate it.
谢谢
Thank you.
好 好 好 好 好…
Good, good, good, good, good…
好孩子
good boy.
好了
Okay.
你真是一个善良 大度 秀色…
You really are kind, big-hearted, delicious…
可餐的年轻人
yummy, yummy, young boy.
你又长得这么帅
And you’re so, so, handsome.
哦 我可不帅 但还是谢谢
Oh, I’m not handsome, but thank you.
还这么谦虚
And so modest.
我觉得我是一个谦卑的耗子
I guess I’m a modest mouse.
格雷戈 你是怎么想到这些东西的
Greg, where do you come up with this stuff?
唔 事实上那是一个乐队的名字
Well, that’s the name of a band, actually.
哦 好吧
Oh. Yeah.
瑞秋
Rachel!
有一只谦虚的小耗子来看你来了
I’ve got a modest little mouse here to see you!
瑞秋
Rachel.
格雷戈 你来干什么
Greg, what are you doing here?
唔 这个…
So, uh…
医生真的推荐
the doctor really recommends
你打一剂强力的格雷戈针
a strong dosage of Gregitor.
这个梗你用过了
You already used that joke.
没有
No.
因为上回我说的是格雷戈嘧啶…
No, ’cause last time it was about Greg-acil…
也许你记得那是方便的胶囊型
which if you recall comes in convenient gel-tab form.
听着 我不想你来找我玩
Look, I don’t want you hanging out with me.
我不需要你该死的同情
I don’t need your stupid pity.
没关系 你走好了
It’s fine, you can just go.
不是 不是
No, no.