我和厄尔以及将死的女孩

如果这是一个浪漫又感人的故事…
if this was a touching, romantic story…
显然我们会坠入爱河
we’d obviously fall in love
她会说些聪明又美妙的情话…
and she’d say all the wise, beautiful things…
让我直到人生暮年才能琢磨明白
that I can only be learned in life’s twilight or whatever.
之后她会在我的臂弯中死去
And then she’d die in my arms.
但再一次地 这些都未发生
But again, that’s not what happened.
她只是变得更沉默 更不开心
She just got quieter. And unhappier.
那你还好吗
So, how are you?
说实话
For real.
说实话
For real?
我觉得你可能说对了
Feeling like you might have been right.
什么时候说对了
Right when?
十月的时候
Back in October,
你当时觉得我快死了
when you thought I was dying.
我想说 我很后悔那么想
Well, I mean, I regret thinking that.
不用后悔
Don’t regret it.
什么声音
What is that noise?
一只懊悔的北极熊
It’s Regretful Polar Bear.
在动物世界里 北极熊
Polar Bears have the purest expression
表达懊悔的方式最质朴
of regret in the animal kingdom.
你听听这声音里的悲伤哀怨多么挥之不去啊
Just listen to how haunting and plaintive they sound.
拜托别逗我笑 有点痛
Don’t make me laugh. Please. It kinda hurts.
好吧
All right.
令人恐惧的沉默
Kind of a monster silence in here.
嗯
Yeah.
沉默一会儿也不错
It’s okay to just be silent for a while.
听着
Look,
我知道你们都在准备接受…
I know you’re really bracing for this sweet girl…
你们可能很喜欢的这个可爱女生死去
that you probably like a lot to die.
耐心听我讲 她没死 她身体变好了
Just please bear with me. She doesn’t. She gets better.
我发誓
I promise.
那个冬天我所记得的…
Pretty much all I remember from that winter…
几乎都是制♥作♥那部蠢片子…
is working on that stupid film…
想尽量拍点有意义的东西…
Just trying to make something that made some kind of sense…
同时又一直清楚我做不到…
and knowing the whole time that I couldn’t…
拍出我们想要的东西应该是可行的…
Maybe it’s possible to make the thing we wanted to make…
只是我们办不到罢了
but it wasn’t possible for us.
那是我生命中的一整个冬天
That was an entire winter of my life.
我是说 当然
I mean, obviously,
我也记得去瑞秋家的事
I remember visiting Rachel too.
有的时候她会说说话
Sometimes she talked,
有的时候又不想说
and sometimes, she didn’t want to.
她不想说的时候 就我来说
When she didn’t want to, I talked.
或者我们一起看电影
Or we watched movies.
有的时候她会开怀大笑
Sometimes, she laughed.
有的时候又不笑
Sometimes, she didn’t.
我唯一没有印象的 是做课堂作业
What I don’t remember is doing schoolwork.
这段时间我一点作业都没做
I did literally zero schoolwork during this time.
不是夸张
Not figuratively.
真的一点作业都没做
Literally zero schoolwork.
其实要做到还挺难的
That’s actually sort of hard to do.
学校里现在怎么样了
So, what’s going on at school?
现在整个学校像一座城♥堡♥…
Well, right now, the whole school looks like a castle…
因为每个人都在为中世纪舞会做准备
’cause everyone’s getting ready for Medieval Prom.
我猜大家都想搞清楚 例如说…
I guess everyone’s trying to figure out how to, like…
中世纪的电臀舞怎么跳
twerk medievally?
你要参加吗
Are you going?
当然不参加
No, of course not.
你应该参加的
You should go.
没门
No way!
你见过我穿晚礼服吗
Have you seen me in a tux?
就像让小狗穿人的衣服似的
It’s like when they make a dog wear human clothes.
你见过吗
Have you seen that?
那样只会让你看着惨兮兮的
It just makes you really sad to look at.
而且没人跟我一起去
Oh, and I don’t have anyone to go with.
所以咯
So there’s that.
除非…
Unless…
你愿意去…
you know… you wanted to…
格雷戈 我不会去舞会的
Greg, I’m not going to prom.
我是说 你完全可以去
I mean, you totally could.
就当是一个…很棒的姿态
It could be like a, s… awesome statement.
嘿 嗯…
Hey, uh…
你们的片子什么时候拍完
When are you guys finishing your movie?
你不会知道我们现在在拍电影吧
You don’t know we’re working on a movie right now.
别装了
You don’t have to pretend.
厄尔跟我说 你们正在给我拍电影
Earl told me you guys were making a movie for me.
天啊 好吧…
God, yeah…
看来他多半是说了
I guess he probably did.
我就问问 因为…
I was just asking, because…
该死 厄尔 啊
Goddamn it, Earl! Ugh.
那应该 那本该是个惊喜的
It was just, it was supposed to be a surprise!
你知道吗 好像永远也
You know? It’s just taking forever to
拍不出想要的感觉 而且…
really want it to get it right, and…
我可能很快就要停止化疗了
I’m probably gonna stop treatment pretty soon.
什么
What?
化疗一点没让我见好
It just isn’t doing me any good.
只是让我越来越糟
All it’s doing is making me sicker.
但是…如果你停止化疗 那…
Yeah, but it… I mean, if you stop, then…
我们看看到时结果又如何吧
Well, we’ll just see what happens.
我们知道结果会如何 对吧
Well, we know what’s gonna happen, right?
我知道你可以带谁去舞会
I know who you can take to prom.
谁
Who?
这个性感的枕头
This sexy pillow here.
天啊 你能不能…
Oh, my God, can you just…
哦 格雷戈
Ooh, Greg,
这个枕头名叫弗朗西丝科
this pillow’s name is Francesca.
别开玩笑 我受不了
Don’t joke, I can’t deal with that.
她是一个浪荡的意大利女人
She’s a filthy Italian woman.
拜托 打住
Please, stop!
别吼我
Don’t yell at me.
就这样 让大学去死吧
So, that’s it? Just, to hell with college,
让长大去死吧
to hell with growing up?
格雷戈 别这样
Greg, don’t.
瑞秋 你到底发什么神经
Rachel, what the hell is wrong with you?
这可是你的人生
This is your life!
对 这就是我的人生
Yeah, it is my life.
是我必须整日卧床
It’s me who has to lie in bed all day,
头发剃光…
with a shaved head…
日渐衰弱 日渐丑陋
getting weaker and uglier,
日渐悲哀 未来渺无希望
and more miserable, with no hope in sight.
是我要忍♥受这一切
I’m the one who has to suffer through this,
不是你 所以别冲我大喊大叫的
not you, so don’t yell at me.
我道歉 但我不会坐视不管
I’m sorry, but I’m not gonna sit here
眼看你死掉却无动于衷
and get comfortable watching you die.
好吗 我办不到 我做不到
Okay? I’m not. I’m not gonna do that.
所以别这样要求我
So don’t ask me to.
如果你不能接受
If you can’t accept
我要如何过我自己的人生…
that I’m going to do what I want to do with my life…
那你真是个差劲的朋友
then you’re a terrible friend.
我差劲
I’m a terrible friend?
行
Okay.
我可不是那个放弃的人
You know, I’m not the one giving up.
我也没有因为自暴自弃
I’m not ruining my friend’s life
而毁掉朋友的生活
by giving up on the whole world.
拜托 格雷戈 你应该欢天喜地啊
Oh, please, Greg, you should be overjoyed.
你现在可以回归自己那种
Now you can go back to your life
毫无存在感 与人疏离…
of being invisible and detached…
又自我憎恨的生活了
and self-hating.
是啊
Yeah.
你也可以回归你等死的生活了
And you can go back to your life of being dead.