月亮上的男人（1999）

我明白,我熟悉这行
I know. I’ve seen this! I know this.
如果你错过了这个机会
If you pass up this opportunity,
就不会再有这样的机会了
you will never, never see another one like it again.
永远不会
Never!
是的
Yeah.
– 好,我答应
– Okay. I’ll do it. – Ah.
– 可我有条件 – 当然可以
– But I have some terms. – Oh, sure.
一切都好商谈
That’s… That’s what negotiations are all about.
– 你在干什么? – 在写我的条件
– What are you doing? – I’m writing out my terms.
你跟我开什么玩笑?
Wh… What, are you making fun of me?
– 那些是我的条件 – 这很荒唐
– Those are my terms. – Th-This is ridiculous.
这是我需要的 我需要这来演出
It’s what I need. It’s what I need to do the show.
这是什么? 上面说“保证给托尼·克利夫顿四场演出”
Wh-What is this? It says, “Four guaranteed guest spots for Tony Clifton.”
– 谁是托尼·克利夫顿? – 是维加斯的一个歌♥唱家
– Who’s Tony Clifton? – He’s a Vegas lounge singer.
我以前对他印象很深
And, um, I used to do impressions of him,
我们打过一次架
and we sort of got into a fight over it.
– 这个托尼·克利夫顿给我打电♥话♥了 – 他给你打电♥话♥了?
– This Clifton called me. – He did?
– 他是个疯子,他讨厌你 – 不,不,不
– He’s a loon! He hates you. – No, no, no.
他只是说话很刻薄 但我很感激他
He just talks tough, but I owe him.
如果我是新弗洛兹
And if I’m the new Fonz,
那么ABC一定会满足我的要求
then ABC is just gonna have to… give me what I want!
嗨
Hey!
半小时之后考夫曼先生就来了
Mr. Kaufman will only appear in half the episodes of Taxi.
考夫曼先生要求 在电影之前有90分钟的沉默
Mr. Kaufman requires an undisturbed 90 minutes of meditation prior to filming.
考夫曼先生要有他自己的特别网
Uh, Mr. Kaufman gets his own network special.
出租车表演必须保证…
And, uh, Taxi must guarantee…
四个临时演员 为托尼·克利夫顿表演
four guest appearances for Tony Clifton.
谁? 谁?
Who? Who?
托尼·克利夫顿
Tony Clifton.
托尼·克利夫顿到底是谁
Who the hell is Tony Clifton?
Uh…
我不知道
I don’t know.
现在…
And now…
现在最激动人心的时刻…
now Mama Rivoli’s is proud to present…
来了
an international singing sensation!
女士们,先生们 有请托尼·克利夫顿先生
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tony Clifton!
Ha!
快点
Come on.
好了
All right, all right!
女士们,先生们
Ladies and gentlemen, uh,
由于托尼·克利夫顿先生嗓音的限制 出于对他的尊敬
due to Mr. Clifton’s vocal constraints, out of respect for him,
他请求你们是否愿意灭掉…
he asks that if you please extinguish…
燃烧的物体,你们的雪茄和烟
your smoking material, your cigars and cigarettes.
有没搞错,那支雪茄我花了l0美元
Goddamn! I paid ten bucks for that cigar!
对不起
Uh, I’m sorry.
– 他在开玩笑嘛? – 现在
– Is he joking? – And now,
女士们,先生们,表演开始了
ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Entertainment,
有请托尼·克利夫顿
Tony Clifton!
他在干什么?
What does he think he’s doing?
Vo…
…lare, whoa
Ca-wa-wa-wa-wa-wantare whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
No wonder my happy heart sings
Your love has given me wings
I got the wings of a dove
I got the wings
I got the chicken wings from Kentucky Fried…
Whoop-de-doo, whoop-de-di!
Stick a-a needle in your eye!
– 哦,我的天啊 – 各位, 让我们来点特别的东西
– Oh, my God. – Let’s get somethin’ straight, people.
在维加斯,我开了个大陈列室
I play big showrooms in Vegas.
我需要这个地方 就像需要鸟枪爆♥炸♥
I need this place like I need a shotgun blast to the face!
现在我下去见见观众
Now, let’s go do wn andmeet some ofthe audience.
好了
All right.
你好? 你来自哪里?
How are you all doin’? Where you from? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
这儿有人洒了香水
Whoa! Somebody’s wearin’ a lot of perfume around here!
一定是刚才
– Must be that time of the month, huh?
我知道所有的鬼把戏 你好？
Yeah, I know all the tricks. How are you doin’?
你喜欢意大利面包吗?
You havin’ a… You enjoyin’ that pasta carbonara?
它会出现在你面前
It appears that you are.
当心,你们坐在了松软干酪上
Whoops! Hey, look out! I think you sat in some cottage cheese.
原谅我那是你们的屁♥股♥
Oh, pardon me. That’s your ass.
Aww!
你好.你喜欢表演吗?
How you doin’? You enjoyin’ the show?
喜欢
– Yeah. – Huh?
你叫什么名字?
– Yeah. – What’s your name?
鲍勃
Bob.
鲍勃
Bob! Bo-o-ob!
Bo-o-ob! Bo-o-ob!
你姓什么?
– What’s your last name? Up and down in the water? – Ugh.
格斯克
Huh?
格斯克
Gorsky.
– 格斯克?是波兰姓
– Gorsky? That Polish? – Yeah.
讲讲波兰的笑话吧
You tryin’ to do some Polish humor?
– 不，那是… – 住嘴
– No, that’s, uh… – Shut up!
– 那只是我的名字 – 住嘴
– That’s just my name. – Shut up!
我不喜欢种族歧视
I do not appreciate, uh, racial slurs!
波兰人被嘲笑够了
I think them dumb Polacks been ridiculed enough.
我在这表演
I do a clean show here.
你们想看笑话吗 这儿正好有笑话
You wanna see some humor? Here’s some humor right here.
这儿,好吗?
Right there, okay? Awww!
坐下,享受
Sit down and enjoy that, okay?
你是… 夏皮罗
And you… Shapiro!
我会在后台见你,秃子
I’ll see you backstage, baldy.
Vo…
…lare
你想干什么?
What do you want?
只是友好的交谈,乔治
Just a little friendly conversation, George.
你饿了?
You hungry?
你看起来很瘦
You look thin!
你… 你…
Y-You-You…
Italiano, cacciatore scallopini, pasta fazool
我搞不懂这种表演
I don’t understand this act.
是种很好的古老娱乐，乔治 人人都喜欢恶棍
It’s good, old-fashioned entertainment, George. Everyone loves a villain.
– 你怎么看待你羞辱的可怜虫? – 嗨,老兄,表演很精彩
– What about that poor schlub you humiliated? – Hey, man, excellent show.
– 很精彩的表演 – 对你来说是很精彩的，乔治
– That was a great show. – Yeah, good show for you. Um, George.
这是我的作者,老朋友鲍勃
This is, uh, my writer and old friend Bob Zmuda.
你好,乔治,我是鲍勃
Hey, George. How are you? I’m Bob.
– 他很有创意 – 是的
– He’s very creative. – Yes.
– 我是这次活动的策划者 – 很有创意
– I am the brains behind this operation. – Dream on.
他曾经设计过 一个从芝加哥动物园逃走的狮子
He once faked a lion escaping from the Chicago Zoo.
很奇怪,乔治
This was fantastic, George.
我们安排了40个演员在动物国排练 他们全都尖叫了起来
We got 40 actors tearin’ through the zoo, they’re all screamin’.
– 封闭了那个地方 – “各位,有只可恶的狮子”
– Closed the place down. – “There’s a fuckin’ lion, man! A lion!”
你的名字不是格斯克
Your name’s not Gorsky.
别相信你听到了一切,乔治
Don’t believe everything you hear, George.
这不能离开他的房♥间
This cannot leave this room.
别把这写下来,好吗?
Do not write this down, okay?
托尼·克利夫顿是安迪·考夫曼
Tony Clifton is Andy Kaufman.
安迪·考夫曼就是托尼·克利夫顿
And Andy Kaufman is Tony Clifton.
他们拒绝了,相信我,是真的
They’ll deny it up and down, but believe me, it’s true.
这是桩大买♥♥卖♥♥
This is great business.
你可以利用 两个安迪·考夫曼赚大钱
You get two Andy Kaufmans for the price of one.
– 安迪，安迪 – 什么事?
– Andy. Andy. – What’s up?
他们答应了 并把一切都准备好了
They said yes. You’re gettin’ everything. Everything!
伯勒斯
Bonus.
– 无论你想要什么 – 伯勒斯，非常谢谢你
– Whatever you want. – Bonus! Thank you very much.
– 我太高兴了 – 我必须乘出租车去,对吗?
– It was so good. – I have to do Taxi, though, right?
– 你要乘出租车去 – 好的
– You gotta do Taxi. – Okay.
为拉特卡准备的宴会
Party time for Latka?
– 除非你把所有的事都干完了 – 是个很好的宴会
– Not until you take off those overalls. – This is a good party.
不,不拉特卡!听我说,听我说
No, no, Latka! Listen to me. Listen to me.
这些饼干里有毒
There’s a drug in those cookies.
不
No!
没有,没有
No. No!
床?
Bed?
在我生命里…
I have never been so emotional…
从来没有这样的激♥情♥
in all my life.