月亮上的男人（1999）

All right!
Whoo!
谢谢
Thank you very much.
嗨,我真的很欣赏你的表演
Hey, I really enjoyed your set.
我没有让你吃惊吧 我很喜欢你在那边的表演
I didn’t mean to startle you. I really liked what you did out there.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
我知道你来自立陶宛
So I understand you’re from Lithuania.
我来自里海
No, I am from Caspiar.
里海?
Caspiar, huh?
那里是里海的一个小岛
It is a very small island in the Caspian Sea.
陷下去了
It sunk.
哦,对不起
Oh, I’m sorry. Uh…
我可能搞错了
Look, uh, I’m probably out of my mind,
但我觉得你很有趣
but I think you’re very interesting,
如果你需要什么条件 我们可以谈谈
and if you ever need representation, we should talk.
好的
Okay.
夏皮罗先生
“George Shapiro.” Mr. Shapiro.
Wow.
– 这是我的荣幸先生 – 里海?
– It is an honor, sir. – Caspiar, huh?
我想成为世界上最好的名星
I wanna be the biggest star in the world.
人们喜欢喜剧演员
Well, people love comedians.
我不是喜剧演员， 也不会搞笑
I’m not a comedian. I don’t do jokes.
我不知道什么是好笑,我是个歌♥舞演员
I don’t even know what’s funny. I’m a song-and-dance man.
谢谢
– Oh, yeah. – Thank you.
我特别提议莲藕
Uh, I particularly suggest the lotus root.
可是,你…
Um, but y-y-you, uh,
你知道,你承诺了很多
you know, you show a lot of promise.
我关心的是 我不知道让你在哪演出
And my concern is I don’t know where to book you.
你不是喜剧演员
You’re not a stand-up, and, uh,
你的表演不会拍成电影,所以…
your act doesn’t exactly translate itself to film, so…
Um…
所以你帮帮我 你自己想去哪里
So help me. Where do you see yourself?
我一直想在卡内基音乐堂演出
Well, I’ve always wanted to play Carnegie Hall.
真好笑
That’s funny.
我不想得到廉价的笑声
See, I don’t want to go for cheap laughs.
我想得到知名人士的认可
I want real gut reactions.
我想要有见识的观众
I want the audience to have gone through an experience.
他们爱我,恨我,离开都可以
They love me, they hate me, they walk out. It’s all great.
– 安迪,你这有个东西
– Andy, you got a little something… – Hmm?
Oh.
当我出名了 我会卖♥♥掉他们
When I’m famous, I’m gonna sell these,
因为是安迪用过的
as worn by Andy Kaufman.
这个给你
You can have this one.
因为是我鼻子上的值很多钱
It’s probably gonna be worth a lot ’cause it was actually up my nose.
你神经病
You’re insane!
也许你很聪明
But you might also be brilliant.
喂,我是乔治·夏皮罗
Hello. George Shapiro here.
…是乔治·夏皮罗吗?
Uh… yeah! Is this George Shapiro ?
– 是的，请讲 – 好的
– Yeah, speaking. – Speaking!
烟雾弥漫， 叽叽喳喳，捉摸不定
Reeking, seeking, creaking. Freaking!
有人告诉我 我不知道的事
Big freaking deal! Tell me something I don’t know, toadstool!
我能帮你吗?
Can I help you with something?
你离安迪·考夫曼远点 这样对你有好处
Yeah, you can stay away from Andy Kaufman, if you know what’s good for you.
– 机轴 – 是谁?
– Crankshaft! – Who is this?
不要歪曲我的话 玩具狮子狗
Do not twist my noodle, toy poodle!
是克利夫顿,一个受尊敬的名字 一个畏惧的名字
This is Tony Clifton, a name to respect, a name to fear!
– 考夫曼是个骗子 他是个神经病
– Kaufman is a lying bastard. He is a psychopath!
现在慢慢地睁开你的眼睛
Now slowly open your eyes.
你应该感到轻松
You should feel rested, relaxed and alert.
谢谢你,师博
Uh, I would like to thank you, Your Holiness.
我的心在释放出活力
My heart is radiating pure energy.
– 好的… – 不，等等
– Okay… – Oh, no. Wait.
等等… – 抱歉
Wait. Uh… I’m sorry.
我有个问题请敦
Uh, I have a question.
有…
Is there…
成为滑稽人物有秘诀吗?
Is there a secret to being funny?
有
Yes.
沉默
Silence.
欢迎回到星期六夜生活
Welcome back to Saturday Night Live.
作为我们晚会的第一个节目
And now, as a special treat on our first show,
有请我们的嘉宾安迪·考夫曼
musical guest Andy Kaufman!
这家伙怎么了
What’s wrong with this guy?
气氛死板
This is dead air.
Band]
Mr. Trouble never hangs around
When he hears this mighty sound
– Here I come to save the day
That means that Mighty Mouse is on his way
Yes, sir, when there is a wrong to right
Mighty Mouse will join the fight
On the sea or on the land
He gets the situation well in hand
So though we are in danger we never despair
‘Cause we know that where there’s danger he is there
– He is there on the land, on the sea
In the air
– We’re not worrying at all
We’re just listening for his call
– Here I come to save the day
That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way
考夫曼先生?
– Mr. Kaufman? – Hmm? Oh.
这边请
Hi. Right this way, please.
– 好的 – 乔治找你
– Okay. – George is expecting you.
嗨,安迪
Hey, Andy.
嗨
Hey.
– 谢谢你赏脸 – 谢谢你，乔治
– Thanks for coming out. – Oh, thank you, George.
过来,坐呀
– Come on, sit down. – Um, oh.
– 坐那里? – 哪里都可以
– Wow, they’re… Which one? – Either one.
– 都是红的 – 是
– They’re both red. – Yeah.
坐这个吧
This one, I guess.
– 路上还好吗? – 还好
– So did you have a nice flight? – I-I did.
路途非常偷快 女乘务员非常漂亮
I had a really good flight, and the stewardess was very, very nice.
她允许我带耳机
And she allowed me to keep my headphones.
那很好啊
– Oh, that’s terrific! – Yep. Mm-hmm.
安迪,我有更好的想法
Andy, I got something better.
– 是吗? – 是的
– You do? – Yeah.
这很重要
This is big.
好的
Okay.
– 好的? – 好的
– Okay? – Okay.
你有个绝好的机会
You are getting a once-in-a-lifetime,
非常有利的机会…
very lucrative opportunity…
在黄金时间演网络连续剧
to star on a prime time network sitcom!
– 连续剧? – 是的
– A sitcom? – Yeah.
这是个很好的剧本
And this is a class act.
故事发生在 一个出租车招呼站里
It all takes place in a taxi stand.
你演弗洛兹。
And you’re gonna be the Fonzie.
我是…弗洛兹?
I’m… Fonzie?
不,不,不
No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.
弗洛兹， 是个疯狂的人物…
The Fonzie, the crazy, breakout character…
他模仿各种好笑的动作
who all the kids imitate,
他们把他放在午餐盒里
and they put him on the lunch boxes.
– 我不喜欢连续剧,乔治 我从来就不喜欢他们 – 等等
– I hate sitcoms, George. I’ve never liked them. – Hold on.
– 这些家伙见过你的另一面 – 是吗?
– These guys have seen your foreign man character. – Yeah?
他们想把他变成…
And they wanna turn him…
一个可爱的傻技工…
into a lovable, goofy mechanic…
名叫…
named…
拉特卡
Latka.
– 不行 – 不行?
– Uh, no. – No?
– 不行 – 哪里不行?
– No. – No to which part?
都不行,听起来不爽
No to the whole thing. It doesn’t sound good to me.
– 安迪,这是每个喜剧演员的梦想 – 我不是喜剧演员
– Andy, this is every comedian’s dream! – I’m not a comedian.
连续剧在娱乐表演中不受欢迎
A-And sitcoms are the lowest form of entertainment.
我是说,它只是…
I mean, it’s just…
乏味的玩笑和录制好的笑声
stupid jokes and canned laughter!
你不知道为什么一下在这 一下在那
And you don’t know why it’s there, but it’s there.
都是呆滞人的笑声 你知道吗？ 那些人很木讷
It’s dead people laughing. Did you know that? Those people are dead!
这是… 这是很好的剧本
This is… This is classy.
我不在乎
I-I don’t care.
我想写我自己的素材
I-I wanna generate my-my own material.
听我说
Look, I-listen. Listen to me.
我做这个生意20年了
Look, I’ve been in this business for 20 years!