月亮上的男人（1999）

Just continue your meditation. I’ll be back.
– Jai Guru Dev. – Jai Guru Dev.
嗨，安迪
Hi, Andy.
嗨
Hi.
这个
This is, uh,
我很难说出口
very difficult for me to say.
可我们…
Uh, but we…
我们觉得这是最好的…
we feel that it’s best…
如果你不加入静修
if you don’t attend the retreat.
为什么?
Why?
我每年都去静修
I go to the retreat every year.
我知道，安迪
Oh, I know, Andy,
我们不怀疑 你对超凡静思的热爱
and we don’t doubt your devotion to Transcendental Meditation.
我们认为你应该和节目…
It’s just that we feel that, well, you and the program…
联♥系♥起来…
have, uh, g-grown apart, uh…
联♥系♥
Philosophically.
“联♥系♥”? 什么是“联♥系♥”?
“Philosophically”? What’s “philosophically”?
安迪，摔交， 男性至上主义的评论，粗鄙的语言
Well, Andy, the wrestling, the sexist remarks, the foul language,
他们不是精神启化的个人主义
they’re just not becoming of an individual of spiritual enlightenment.
好象你对什么都不在意
It seems you just don’t respect anything.
当然是的
Of course I do.
我只是认为世界是个幻想
I just… I think of the world as, as an illusion,
我们不应该太认真了
and we shouldn’t take ourselves so seriously.
不要
Don’t…
请
Don’t,
不要
please,
参加这
do this.
你们让我加入这些组织 不是想要我平静吗
You’ve got to let me attend these classes. It’s what keeps me balanced.
显然没效啊
I-It’s apparently not working.
那么，帮帮我，帮帮我，好吗?
Then, then help me. Help me, okay? Guide me.
安迪
Andy…
我们只是不希望你在这出现
we just don’t wish your presence here.
嗨
Hi.
我给你带来了好吃的
I brought you some Haagen-Dazs.
我不值得你给我带吃的
I don’t deserve Haagen-Dazs.
我是个坏男人
I’m… I’m a badperson.
哦
Oh.
你不坏
You aren’t a bad person.
你是个很复杂的人
You are a complicated person.
你不了解真正的我
You don’t know the real me.
没有真正的你
There isn’t a real you.
是啊，我忘了
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
宝贝
Baby.
你跟我一起生活吗?
Do you want to move in with me?
什么?
What?
再说一遍
Say it again.
哦，罗斯
Oh, Rose
玛丽
Marie
我爱你
I love you
我总是
I’m always
梦见你
Dreaming of you
我去接
I’ll get it.
考夫曼和玛盖尔性别研究中心
Kaufman and Marguiles Center for Sexual Research.
安迪，我是乔治
Andy, it’s George.
嗨，乔治，我可能帮你了你什么
Hey, George. I’m not sure we can do anything for you.
安迪,我得到了不幸的消息
Yeah. Uh, Andy, uh, I got some crummy news.
哦
Oh.
汽车演出被取消
Taxi’s been canceled.
不幸的消息?
And the crummy news?
过来,我们谈谈好吗?
Do you want me to come over, we’ll talk about it?
不行,现在我可以说是很忙
Um, no. I’m sorta busy right now.
那么下星期见
I’ll see you next week, though.
谢谢
Thanks.
放在那
Put it right there.
讨厌
Yuck.
女士们,先生们,晚会开始
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a treat for staying late,
欢迎从出租车表演上 来的安迪·考夫曼先生
please welcome, from Taxi, the Improv’s own Mr. Andy Kaufman!
其实,你们错了
Actually, Bud, you’re wrong.
今天发现， 出租车表演被取消了
I found out today that Taxi has been canceled.
什么
What?
不是我妻子不许我来
Not to mention that my wife left me,
她是开玩笑
and she took the kids.
我不知道你们为什么笑 我不是开玩笑
I don’t understand why you’re laughing. I’m not joking.
今天早上我起来发现我有
And then this morning I got up and I noticed that I have, um,
一个胞或者是疖子…
a cyst or some kind of boil…
在我的后脖子上
on the back of my neck.
看
Look.
看见了吗
See?
所以我在想 由于我还不是很痛
So I was thinking, since I’m still kind of a quasi-celebrity,
也许我能让 你们触摸一下我的胸
that maybe I could charge people to touch it.
有人愿意出一美元 摸我的胸吗?
Would anybody like to pay a dollar to touch my cyst?
我是认真的 现在我真的很需要钱
I’m serious. I could really use the money right now.
这是个很好的交易
It ‘s a good deal.
好的
Oh, okay.
等等,你先付钱
Oh, wait, no. You gotta pay first.
一美元…
It ‘s a dollar…
摸名人的胞
to touch my celebrity cyst.
好的
Okay.
Oww!
– 谢谢 – 不客气
– Thank you. – You’re welcome.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
安迪你告诉我们…
W-Would Andy like to tell us…
为什么在凌晨4点 叫我们出来
why he called us out at 4:00 in the morning?
Um…
好的
yeah.
我得了癌症
Uh, I have cancer.
别闹了,别闹了
Forget it. Forget it!
那是很可怕听闻
– That is… That is in terrible taste.
我可不想与这有关
I don’t wanna have anything to do with this. Nothing.
不,不,不,这很好 我们可以写这个剧本
No, no, no, that’s good. We can make that play.
我们只是把它说出来?
Okay, and we’ll really… We’ll just drag it out. All right?
你好了,又变坏了
Y- You get better, you get worse.
你死了,然后又活了
No, you die, and then, uh, you come back to life.
很好笑
That’s funny.
很好笑
That’s funny,
不是假的,鲍勃
but, um, it’s not a gag, Bob.
我得了癌症 是肺癌
I got cancer. I got lung cancer.
肺癌
Lung cancer.
真荒谬,你有不抽烟
That’s ridiculous. You don’t even smoke.
我得的是奇怪的症状
I’ve got some freaky rare kind.
医学上叫大细胞癌
It’s called large-celled carcinoma.
Yea!
我是个幸运的家伙
I’m a lucky guy.
– 又告诉家人吗? – 没有
– Have you told your family? – No. No.
我不想告诉他们
I don’t want to tell them.
我已经麻烦…
I’ve just…
他们很多了
jerked them around so much.
安迪,看着我的眼睛…
Andy, look in my eye…
告诉我这是真的
and tell me this is true.
对不起
I’m sorry.
– 对不起,对不起 – 嗨
– I’m sorry. I’m sorry. – Hey.
对不起
I’m sorry.
赖尼?等等,嗨,嗨,嗨
Lynne? Come on. Hey. Hey, hey.
等等
Wait up.
如果我发现 是你在后面操纵，我就杀了你
If I find out that you’re behind this, I’ll kill you, Zmuda!
你到底在说什么,乔治?
What the hell are you talkin’ about, George?
我不是说我不相信他
I was the one who just said I didn’t believe him.
你们两个合起来骗我
That’s just the kind of thing you two would work out to fuck me up.
你想知道事实吗,孩子
Man] We want the truth, boy!
爸爸说莱西咬我 我也说是她干的
My father said Lassie bit me, so I said she did too.
– 莱西不会要你，知道吗 – 散庭
– Lassie never bit you, and you know it. – Case dismissed!
Dramatic]
爸爸?
Dad?