丑态百出（1991）

结果我放弃了，为了该死的婚姻
You were married?
你结过婚？
Oh, you bet I was married.
你不相信我结婚了
I was married to Tom–Tom Terrific.
我嫁给了汤姆，汤姆.特里弗克
Sure, Tom. Anything you want, Tom.
没错，汤姆。你想要什么都行，汤姆
You want it now, Tom?
你现在就要，汤姆？
Oh, sure, Tom. Go ahead, Tom.
哦，当然，汤姆。来吧，汤姆
What?
Finished already, Tom?
什么？已经完了，汤姆？
no, I don’t mind, Tom.
不，我不介意，汤姆
Where you going, Tom?
你去哪里，汤姆？
You wash up, Tom.
I’ll finish by myself, Tom!
洗手洗脸，汤姆。我自己就行，汤姆！
Where did you go, Tom?
你去了哪里，汤姆？
You didn’t leave a note, Tom.
你没有留下便条，汤姆
I’m all alone here, Tom.
我在这里很孤单，汤姆
You left me all the bills, Tom.
你给我留下了一大堆的债务，汤姆
They’re taking away the house.
房♥子也被人占了
Tom, I don’t have a job, Tom!
汤姆，我没有工作，汤姆！
I’m in a lot of trouble.
我遇到了很多麻烦
So, after Tom ran out…
汤姆离开后…
I realized I had to adjust
my entire lifestyle.
我意识到我必须调整我的生活方式
I created this whole
new mental attitude.
我跟变了个人似的
lt’s called a nervous breakdown.
I cried a lot. I screamed a lot.
精神崩溃了，我哭个不停，大喊大叫…
I was hysterical
morning, noon, and night.
早上，中午，晚上我都歇斯底里
I was like this–
就像这样——
Help me! Somebody help me!
救命！谁来救救我！
Get the picture?
明白了吗？
I got it. Yes, I got it.
I think the whole block got it.
明白。是的，我明白，我想我全明白
So, I’ve been in this
nervous breakdown…
就这样…
for about eight years.
已经八年了
And you know something?
I like it.
你知道吗？我喜欢这样
I walk when I want,
I sit down when I want…
我想走就走，想坐就坐
I cry when I want,
I laugh when I want.
我想哭就哭，我想笑就笑
I pick my own hours.
我来去自♥由♥
Sounds a little…
听起来有点…
Crazy? There’s nothing wrong
with crazy.
疯狂？根本就不疯狂
Crazy’s good.
Crazy keeps them away.
疯狂好啊，疯狂可以把它们赶走
So what’s your story?
You ever been married?
说说你的故事吧？你结过婚吗？
Yes, I tried it once.
Didn’t work out.
是的，试过一次，结果吹了
She said I spent all my time
making money.
她说我就知道赚钱
That was time well spent.
这时间花得值
Wet it down. All over. All over.
全浇上，全浇上
So it burns up nice.
这样烧起来才猛
Oh, this is gonna burn big!
Big stuff here, Victor!
这样烧起来必定很high，绝对high，维克多！
Yeah, get it. That’s it.
I wish I had some marshmallows!
做的好，就这样。要是有棉花糖就更high了！
-Light it.
-What?
点燃它。什么？
-Light it!
-Light it!
点燃它，点燃它
Light it. Oh, Victor,
this is going to be so good.
点燃它，维克多，太棒了
Oh, yeah. Yeah! Just look at it.
噢耶，耶！快看
Burn, burn. Yes, yes!
烧吧，烧吧，噢耶！
Yeah! Look at it!
Look at it! I love fire!
看啊，多么漂亮，我爱死它了！
-She won’t fool with us no more.
-We should go now, Victor.
她再也不会弄我们了。我们该走了
What was that all about?
这是怎么回事？
Hey, it’s my place!
喂，我的住处！
My stuff!
我的东西！
Shall I call the fire department?
要不要叫消防车？
No.lt’s just a bunch of junk.
不用，只是一堆垃圾
I’m gonna get those bastards.
我要修理那两个人♥渣♥
Come over here. I want you
to get Mean Victor and Yo…
过来，你去找维克多和尤…
and get them to chase you down
here to this Chinese restaurant.
叫他们把你赶到中国餐馆里
-Me?
-Yes.
我？是的
Then I want you
to run through this door…
然后你跑进去…
and lock it behind you.
锁上门
now, if you lock it,
you’re safe.
如果锁上门，你就安全了
We’ll do the rest.
剩下的就交给我们
Can you do this?
你能做到吗？
May I propose an alternative?
有没有别的选择？
-What?
-Why don’t we sue?
什么？我们为什么不起诉？
You may be the weak link in this.
你个软蛋
You know what to do
when you get to the kitchen.
到了厨房♥后你们知道怎么做
Weak link.
软蛋
I’m addressing the two degenerates…
我正在找两个…
who call themselves Victor and Yo.
自称是维克多和尤的混混
You rob and exploit the helpless
for your own profit and gain…
你们抢劫穷♥人♥自私自利
and use the spoils of your activities…
干着不光彩的事…
to buy and sell illegal narcotics.
非法买♥♥卖♥♥毒品
Therefore, I am making
a citizen’s arrest.
所以我要逮捕你们
Citizen’s arrest.
逮捕我们
And you won’t be needing this anymore.
你们也用不着这个了
Get him! Get him!
抓住他，抓住他
You have the right to remain silent.
你们有权保持沉默
Anything you say
can and will be used…
你们所说的一切
against you in a court of law.
都将作为呈堂证供
God damn it!
我勒个去！
Thank God!
谢天谢地！
Wait a minute.
等一下
don’t pour! Wait till
they’re right under us.
不要急！等到他们站在我们底下再泼！
All right. I admit it.
I have a very weak case.
好吧，我承认
You’ll be happy to know
I’m dropping the charges.
我忘了给钱了
Oh, shit!
糟糕！
I’m out of bounds.
我越线了
-What’s that noise?
-I don’t know.
什么声音？我不知道
lt stopped.
又停了
What’s he doing?
He’s coming back again?
他在干吗？他又回来了？
He’s the bravest man
I’ve ever seen.
他是我见过的最勇敢的人
I’m not mad. I just want
to put my foot up here.
我没疯，我只想伸下脚
Yeah, that’s good. That’s good.
好了，好了
Pepto, get out of the way!
佩普托，快走开！
Now!
倒！
Oh, it’s hot!
啊，烫死了！
They won’t come around here
anymore.
他们再也不会来了
I hope so.
但愿如此
Jeez,
they really did a job on you.
天啊，刚才好险
Man, you throw a mean face.
兄弟，你让我刮目相看
Well, according to this,
his ankle alarm went off…
他脚上的警报器在三点三十五分
at 3:35 for 28 1/2 seconds.
响了二十八点五秒
Well, let’s just say 30 seconds.
Then we’d win.
直接说三十秒我们不就赢了
But his lawyers get a copy
of the same readout, sir.
但他的律师也有同样的复本
Does anybody know why he stepped
out of bounds…