小丑 Joker

– What do you think he’s gonna do? – He’s gonna help us.
你为他们工作
You worked for them, what?
是三十年前的事情了吧
30 years ago?
他为什么要帮我们
Why would he help us?
因为托马斯·韦恩是个好人
Because Thomas Wayne is a good man.
如果他知道我们现在生活得这么困难
If he knew how we were living,
如果他看到这间屋子 他会很难过
if he saw this place, it would make him sick.
我只能这么跟你解释了
I can’t explain it to you any better than that.
我不想让你操心钱的事
I don’t want you worrying about money.
或是操心我
Or me.
大家都说我已经能给大俱乐部表演单口相声了
Everybody’s telling me that my stand-up is ready for the big clubs.
但是 开心 谁让你这么觉得的
But, Happy, what makes you think you could do that?
-什么意思 -我是说
– What do you mean? – I mean…
要当喜剧演员 难道不需要足够幽默吗
don’t you have to be funny to be a comedian?
你叫什么
Hey, what’s your name?
亚瑟
Arthur.
亚瑟
Hey, Arthur.
你的舞跳得真好
You’re a really good dancer.
我知道
I know.
那谁跳得不好
And who is not?
他
Him.
开心 什么声音 你没事吧
Happy! What was that? Are you okay?
妈妈 你说什么
Mom, what?
刚刚的响声 你听到了吗
That noise! Did you hear that noise?
我在看老战争片
I’m-I’m watching an old war movie!
调小声点
Turn it down!
抱歉 妈妈
Sorry, mom.
行了吧
You good?
威廉街
很高兴看到这些夫妻们来看我的表演
It’s nice to see these couples are at my show.
我也有妻子 我们喜欢角色扮演
I have a wife, we love to role play.
没错 很性感
Yes. Yes, very sexy.
我现在最喜欢的是
My favorite one right now is…
教授和需要通过我的课才能毕业的大四学生
professor and senior who really needs to pass my class to graduate.
是的
Yes.
我来告诉你们情境
So I tell you how I operate.
我是新英格兰地区一所著名大学的教授
I’m a professor at a prestigious New England university.
我妻子是我的西方文明导论课上的大四学生
And my wife is a senior in my intro to western civ.
我知道 为什么她大四了还上导论课
I know, I know, why is she-why is she a senior in intro?
我当时也纳闷
I didn’t buy it either.
她在我的办公时间来找我
So she comes to me during my office hours,
周一和周三的三点到五点
Monday and Wednesday 3:00 to 5:00,
她说 “打扰一下 路易斯教授”
and she says, “Excuse me, Professor Lewis.”
在这个学校里我没法用真的姓氏
I can’t use my real last name at this collage
因为他们不雇犹太人
’cause they don’t hire Jews.
我要是获得终身教席就有这个问题 先不管这个
Something I’ll address once I have a tenure, but for now…
她说 “路易斯教授
She says, “Excuse me, Professor Lewis.
我觉得我的西方文明导论可能要挂科了
I think I might be in danger of failing intro to western civ,
我想让你知道 为了不挂科我什么都愿意做”
and I just want you to know I’m willing to do anything to pass.”
我说”什么都愿意做吗” 她说”爽”
I said “anything?”, and she says “Aah”.
保持目光接触
记得观察好笑的事
性笑话总能使观众笑
心理疾病
人们
人们希望你
有心理疾病最糟的是
人们希望你假装没病
你今天是不是跟踪我了
Were you following me today?
是的
Yeah.
我就知道是你
I thought that was you.
我还以为你会入室抢劫
I was hoping you’d come in and rob the place.
我有一把枪
I have a gun.
我明天再造访
I’ll come by tomorrow.
你太幽默了 亚瑟
You’re so funny, Arthur.
是啊
Yeah…
我是单口相声演员
You know, I–I do stand-up comedy.
有机会的话可以来看我的表演
You should maybe come and see a show sometime.
没问题
I could do that.
是吗
Yeah?
嗯 告诉我时间
Yeah. You let me know when?
好
Yeah.
♪ 如果你感到开心 就动动耳朵 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, wiggle your ears ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 就动动耳朵 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, wiggle your ears ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, ♪
♪ 感到高兴 就表现出来 ♪
♪  and you feel it, well, just show it ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 就动动耳朵 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, wiggle your ears ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 就跺跺脚 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 就跺跺脚 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, ♪
♪ 感到高兴 就表现出来 ♪
♪ and you feel it, well, just show it ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 就跺跺脚 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 就大声欢呼 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, shout “Hooray” ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 就大声欢呼 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, shout “Hooray” ♪
♪ 如果你感到开心 感到高兴 ♪
♪ If you’re happy and you know it, and you feel it,–♪
霍伊特 别这样
Hoyt, please.
我爱这份工作
I love this job.
亚瑟 我得知道你为什么带枪去儿童医院
Arthur, I need to know why you brought a gun into a kids hospital.
这是道具 这是我表演的一部分
It’s a prop. It’s part of my act now.
扯淡 扯淡
That’s bullshit! Bullshit!
什么样的小丑会带枪
What kind of a clown carries a fucking gun?
而且 兰德尔说你上周想找他买♥♥枪
Besides, Randall told me you tried to buy a .38 off him last week.
-兰德尔说的吗 -你有毛病 亚瑟
– Randall told you that? – You’re a fuck-up, Arthur.
还是个骗子
And a liar.
你被开除了
You’re fired!
我跟你说 她想要我的号♥码
I’m telling you, she wanted my number.
我们不该走的
We should have just stayed.
你在做梦吧 她对你根本不感兴趣
You’re dreaming, man. She wasn’t interested… at all.
你疯了吗 你没看到我们跳舞时挨得多近吗
Are you nuts? Did you see how close we were dancing!?
她爱上了我 老兄
She was in love, bro.
她根本不想和你多待一秒
She couldn’t wait to get away from you.
莱恩 莱恩 我疯了吗 告诉他你看到了什么
Ryan. Ryan, am I crazy? Tell him what you saw.
你想吃薯条吗
You want some french fries?
你好
Hello….?
-我在和你说话呢 -不用了 谢谢
– I’m talking to you. Hey. – No, thank you.
你确定吗
You sure?
很好吃的
They’re really good.
别不理他 他在对你示好
Don’t ignore him. He’s being nice to you.
有什么好笑的吗 混球
Is something funny, asshole?
贱♥人♥
Bitch!
♪ 这不荒唐吗 ♪
♪ Isn’t it rich? ♪
♪ 我们真是一对吗 ♪
♪ Are we a pair? ♪
♪ 我好不容易踏上地面 ♪
♪ Me here, at last on the ground ♪
♪ 你却仍在半空 ♪
♪ You in mid-air ♪
♪ 让小丑们出场吧 ♪
♪ Send in the clowns. ♪
♪ 这不可笑吗 ♪
♪ Isn’t it bliss? ♪
♪ 你不同意吗 ♪
♪ Don’t you approve? ♪
拜托 别这样
Please. Don’t.
♪ 一个四处游荡 ♪
♪ One who keeps tearing around, ♪
♪ 一个动弹不得 ♪
♪ One who can’t move. ♪
♪ 小丑们在哪里 ♪
♪ Where are the clowns? ♪
♪ 小丑们该出场了 ♪
♪ There ought to be clowns. ♪
伙计 告诉我们 有什么这么好笑
So, buddy, tell us. What’s so fucking funny?
没什么 我…
Nothing. I—
我…我有一种病
I have a— I have a condition.
我来告诉你你有什么 混球
I’ll tell you what you have, asshole.
拜托 住手
Please, stop!
还会踢人 把他抱住 把他抱住
We’ve got a kicker, huh? Hey, hold him steady, hold him steady.
别起来 怪胎
Stay down, freak!
不 不
No! No!
救命 救命
Hey! Help! Help!
请远离正在关闭的车门
Stay clear of the closing doors.
该死
Shit.
该死
Shit.
我看报道说是画了满脸妆的人干的
I read it was a guy in full make-up.