热血警探

– 城♥堡♥ – 是吗? 你是哪位?
– The castle. – Oh, yeah? And who might you be?
史泰克先生 彼得·伊恩·史泰克先生
Mr Staker. Yeah, Mr Peter lan Staker.
彼·伊·史泰克 对吧 鼻屎 拜托!
P. I. Staker. Right. Piss taker. Come on!
是的 史泰克先生 我们会尽全力的 能向我描叙一下外貌吗?
Yes, Mr Staker. We’ll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?
大概有两英尺高
It’s about two foot tall.
– 细长的脖子 – 嗯
– Long slender neck. – Yeah.
– 有点黑黄色的喙 – 还有呢?
– Kind of orange and black bill. – Anything else?
反正 是只天鹅
Well, it’s a swan.
会吓着它的
That’s just gonna scare it.
– 那些天鹅可不好抓啊? – 实际上只有一只
– No luck catching them swans then? – It’s just the one swan, actually.
– 想去店里买♥♥点什么吗? – 你不刚去过吗?
– Want anything from the shop? – You’ve just been to the shop.
我是指其他店
I was thinking of a different shop.
黄油男巡警 现在可不是忙私事的时候
Constable Butterman, this is not the time for personal errands.
– 现在不是没什么状况嘛? – 总会有状况的
– Well, there’s nothing going on, is there? – There is always something going on.
你必须要加倍小心 明白? 比如这家伙?
You have to look closer, all right? What about this guy?
– 叛徒先生? – 嗯
– Mr Treacher? – Yeah.
他为什么要穿件大外套?
Why has he got that big coat on?
他又不冷 为什么要穿这么多? 也许他藏了些什么东西
He can’t be cold. Why the extra layer? Maybe he’s trying to hide something.
叛徒先生?
Mr Treacher?
好吧 那这家伙呢?
Okay. What about this guy?
想想看 他为什么要把帽子拉那么低?
Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
– 他是个丑八怪 – 或者他不想让你看见他的脸
– He’s fuck ugly. – Or he doesn’t want you to see his face.
正因为他是个丑八怪
Because he’s fuck ugly.
好吧 那他呢?
Okay, what’s his story?
– 哦 那是傻大个 – 继续说
– Oh, that’s Lurch. – Go on.
– 他是当地超♥市♥的推车工 – 继续
– He’s a trolley boy at the local supermarket. – Good.
真名是迈克·粗手臂
Real name, Michael Armstrong.
– 父亲说他弱智 – 嗯
– Dad says he’s got a child’s mind. – Okay.
他跟她妈妈和妹妹一起住在夏日街
And lives up Summer Street with his mum and his sister.
也跟他一样强壮吗?
And are they as big as he is?
– 谁? – 他妈妈和妹妹
– Who? – The mum and the sister.
都是同一个人
Same person.
你想去哪家店?
What shop were you thinking of?
《第四类杀手》 格斗技术专家VS超级杀人机器?
天使警官请到经理室来
Sergeant Angel to the Manager’s office.
请到经理室来 天使警官
Manager’s office. Sergeant Angel.
是天使警官 还是天吏?
Sergeant Angel. Or is it Angle?
扒皮先生 有个婴儿在6号♥走廊呕吐了
Mr Skinner, a baby’s sicked up in aisle six.
不好意思 迈克尔!
Please excuse me. Michael!
好的
Yarp.
– 6号♥走廊有呕吐物 去拖干净了 – 好的
– Child vomit. Aisle six. Mop it up. – Yarp.
– 扒皮先生 有什么麻烦吗? – 没 没有
– Mr Skinner, is there a problem? – No, no, no, no.
我只是想说能看到你 支持本地商♥铺♥真是太好了
I simply wanted to say how lovely it is to see you supporting your local store.
那是应该的
Well, that’s quite all right.
有许多人都跑到布福德·艾比的 超级商业中心去购物了
All too many have defected to the big Megamart in Buford Abbey.
这么不忠的客人 真该砍了他们的脑袋
May their heads be struck from their shoulders for such disloyalty.
好了 我正在执勤 请恕我失陪
Yes, well, I am on duty, so if you’ll excuse me.
当然了 我看你你一直 在有机食品旁闲逛
Of course. I simply spied you loitering in organic produce
就想当然地以为你的时间很充裕
and assumed you had time on your hands.
也许你应该监视一下其他人
Well, maybe I’m not the one you should be keeping an eye on.
那是电冰箱大王 他名叫乔治·批发商
That’s the Fridge Magnate. His name’s George Merchant.
靠经营厨具发了财 却在诺里斯街上盖怪房♥
Made a fortune in kitchen goods. Built that monstrosity on Norris Avenue.
其实 我没在说他
Actually, I wasrt talking about him.
我指的是他
I was talking about him.
失陪了
Excuse me.
你在做什么?
Excuse me.
《超级警♥察♥》
(DANNY READING)
所向披靡的警♥察♥
“Meet the cop that can’t be stopped.”
臭小子!
Tosser!
主干道有情况
Trouble in the high street.
天使警官有了点小麻烦
Sergeant Angel’s having a spot of bother.
收到
Roger that.
早 警官
Morning, Sergeant.
你♥他♥妈♥的
You mothers.
– 我们从这里穿过去 截他的道 – 穿过花♥园♥?
– Let’s cut through here. Head him off. – Through the gardens?
怎么了 胖子? 你从来没抄过小道?
What’s the matter, Danny? You never taken a shortcut before.
嘿 把那给我!
Hey, give me that!
你有权保持沉默
“You do not have to say anything, however it may harm your defence
但你所作的回答 都可作为法庭上不利于你辩护的证据
“if you fail to mention when questioned something you later rely on in court.
你所说的一切都将作为呈堂证供
“Anything you do say can be given in evidence.”
– 嗨 胖子 – 怎样 彼得?
– Hi, Danny. – All right, Pete?
你认识他?
Do you know this man?
嗯 他是安迪·杰姬的妹妹的 哥哥的儿子
Yeah, he’s Auntie Jackie’s sister’s brother’s boy.
以前怎么没听你提起过?
And it didn’t occur to you to mention this before?
我不是看不见他的脸吗? 我又不是透视眼
Couldrt see his face, could I? I’m not made of eyes.
干得漂亮
Impressive collar.
可惜扒皮先生不想起诉
Shame Mr Skinner doesn’t want to press charges.
什么意思 他不想起诉?
What do you mean, he doesn’t wanna press charges?
我只是觉得在彼得提高犯罪率之前
I’m simply suggesting that, you know, Peter be given a second chance
应该再给他次机会
before he becomes just another crime statistic.
我确信这对他来说是次宝贵的教训
I’m sure he’s going to learn a valuable lesson.
– 偷饼干是大错? – 就是嘛
– Stealing biscuits is wrong? – Correct.
谢谢
Thanks.
那我们就不采取任何惩罚性措施?
And yet we respond by not taking a single punitive measure?
瞧 曲奇不已经碎了嘛
Well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
饼干也是 是吧?
Like the biscuits, isn’t it?
– 扒皮先生… – 一切都还好吧?
– Mr Skinner… – Is everything all right?
长官 扒皮先生不希望起诉
Well, sir, Mr Skinner feels it would be better not to prosecute an individual
一名已经犯过罪的人
that has committed a blatant offence.
我来接手吧
Leave this with me.
我一定会给大家个满意的交代
I’ll make sure everyone gets their just deserts.
哦 不!
Oh, no!
– 你看过《终极豪情》吗? – 没
– Have you ever seen Point Break? – No.
在电影里的 他们跳过栅栏时的样子太酷了
Amazing bit in Point Break where they jump over fences.
是吗? 29KM/H
Is there now? Twenty-nine.
帕特里克· 斯韦兹刚抢银行 基努·里维斯穿过公园去追捕他
Patrick Swayze’s just robbed this bank and Keanu Reeves is chasing him
他打算朝斯韦兹开枪但他做不到
through people’s gardens, and he goes to shoot Swayze but he can’t,
因为他太爱他了
’cause he loves him so much,
他朝天开了枪 他就像这样…啊~~~
and he’s firing his gun up in the air, he’s like…
你有没有朝天开过枪然后狂叫?
Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone…
没有 我从没朝天开过枪 也没狂叫
No, I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone…
对不起 我只是有时觉得我白混了
Sorry, I… I just… I just feel like I’m missing out sometimes.
– 我想跟你做同样的事 – 你就在做我做的事
– I wanna do what you do. – You do, do what I do.
你怎么会觉得你白混了呢?
What on earth do you think you’re missing out on?
没经历过枪战 汽车追逐战 没执行过什么任务之类的
Gun fights. Car chases. Proper action and shit.
警♥察♥的工作不是大行动或之类的
Police work is not about proper action or shit.
如果你有认真听 我在学校的演讲的话
If you had paid attention to me in school,
你就会知道打击犯罪 不是枪战或汽车追逐战
you’d understand that it’s not all about gun fights and car chases.
拉响警灯
Fire up the roof.
真是太帅了
That was brilliant.
我开得有点快了吗 长官?
Was I going a tad fast, Officer?
是啊 确实 吹牛皮先生
Yes, you were, Mr Blower.
要知道 我们正在准备威廉姆·莎士比亚的 《罗密欧与朱丽叶》歌♥舞剧
Well, now, you see, we are staging a homage to William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet
我有点赶不上试装排练了
and I’m a little late for the dress rehearsal.
我扮演的是位英雄
I’m playing the eponymous hero, you see.
罗密欧 不是朱丽叶
Romeo not Juliet.
– 你在写什么? – 你说的每一句话
– What are you writing? – Everything you’re saying.
我以后可能会用的上
I might need to refer to it later.
长官 我是名有地位的律师 所以没必要…
Now, Officer, I am a respected solicitor so there’s no need to…
别写了 好不好?
Just stop writing, will you?
听着 我只不过想解释 我速度”快”的原因
Look, I’m merely trying to explain why I might have exceeded the speed limit.
你在莎士比亚的《罗密欧与朱丽叶》 歌♥舞剧担任男主角
You’re playing the male lead in a homage to William Shakespeare’s
你快要赶不上试装排演了
Romeo and Juliet and you’re late for the dress rehearsal.
你觉得在限速30KM/H的道路上 开到48KM/H 这个理由充分吗?
You think this is sufficient reason to travel at 48 in a 30 zone?
– 唔 我… – 无视限速
– Well, I… – To flout speed limits
– 尤其是至人♥民♥生命于不顾 – 岂有此理
– specifically put in place to save lives. – Just, look, this is preposterous.
– “岂有此理” – 听着 别写了!
– “Preposterous.” – Look, just stop writing!
“别写了”
“Stop writing.”
听着 你是对的 我承认错误
Look, you’re right, I apologise.
– 看见我怎么做的了吧? – 你忽悠了他
– See what I did there? – You hypnotised him.
不 我利用了这个