上错天堂投错胎（1978）

非常好，令人印象深刻
WELL, VERY, VERY NICE.
VERY, VERY, IMPRESSIVE.
我是汤尼亚伯特 法思沃斯先生的私人秘书
I’M TONY ABBOTT,
MR. FARNSWORTH’S PERSONAL SECRETARY.
非常棒…
VERY NICE. VERY…VERY NICE.
别因为他的种族歧视而生气
DON’T LET ANY OF MR. FARNSWORTH’S
RACIAL STATEMENTS OFFEND YOU,
FOR GOD’S SAKES.
很高兴认识你
NICE–NICE TALKING TO YOU.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
投球时快一点
GET RID OF THAT BALL FAST, ALL RIGHT?
祝你好运，法思沃斯先生
GOOD LUCK, MR. FARNSWORTH.
别担心比赛，我已想好对策
ALL RIGHT, DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE PLAYS.
I THINK I GOT THEM DOWN LAST NIGHT.
我想从右边进攻…
I WANT TO RUN A SPLIT RIGHT, X-GO,
Z-CURL, A Y-STRAIGHT.
当超级杯来打，散
LIKE THE SUPER BOWL. BREAK.
-准备好没？散 -靠近点
READY? BREAK.
看看他们
LOOK AT GORMAN AND KOWALSKY.
那就是他们凶狠的样子
THAT’S HOW THEY LOOK WHEN THEY EAT.
-注意 -4-3准备
4-3, SET!
HUT!
2-85…
2-85!
2-85!
HUT.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
抱歉，法思沃斯先生
SORRY, MR. FARNSWORTH.
-非常好 -再来一遍
NICE.
LET’S TRY IT AGAIN, MR. FARNSWORTH.
再来一遍
OK, GET HIM BACK IN THERE.
各就各位
LET’S GO! LET’S GO!
TRY IT WITH THE BALL!
-橄榄球真是好玩 -再试一次
COME ON, POSITIONS!
PLAYING FOOTBALL IS SO MUCH FUN.
-准备 -加油
SET!
COME ON NOW!
2-81
2-81!
2-81!
HUT!
HUT!
HUT!
HUT!
HUT–
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
真抱歉，法思沃斯先生 这真是难堪
I’M TERRIBLY SORRY, MR. FARNSWORTH.
THIS IS REALLY EMBARRASSING.
HELP HIM UP.
我猜你越位了
I GUESS YOU WENT OFFSIDES.
加油…
COME ON, GUYS,
GET HIM, GET HIM, GET HIM.
给我多一点空间
GIVE ME A LITTLE MORE ROOM, BILLY.
SET!
让我们照正规位置来打
LET’S ALL TRY AND STAY ONSIDES.
2-85!
HUT!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
-最好准备担架 -我的老天
BETTER GET A STRETCHER.
他是个怪胎，我们都知道的
JESUS!
LOOK, HARRY, HE’S AN ECCENTRIC.
用六千七百万买♥♥下 只值19元的球队
WE’VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT ABOUT FARNSWORTH.
BUYING A FOOTBALL TEAM FOR 67 MILLION
THAT HAS A BOOK VALUE OF 19?
三个星期前股价仍是56
3 WEEKS AGO, THE STOCK SOLD AT 56.
今天早上一开♥盘♥就跌到14
THIS MORNING IT OPENED AT 14.
YOU WANT A REST, MR. FARNSWORTH?
-你要休息一下吗？ -不用了
NO, NO, IT’S OK.
法思沃斯先生要当公羊队的 四分卫打进超级杯
MR. LEO FARNSWORTH INTENDS TO TAKE THE LOS ANGELES RAMS
TO THE SUPER BOWL THIS SEASON AS THEIR QUARTERBACK.
他有精神错乱吗？
NO SIGN OF ABERRATION IN HIS BEHAVIOR?
他的生活有没有遭遇打击？
NOTHING IN HIS PERSONAL LIFE BOTHERING HIM?
刚才我已经回答了
I THINK THIS STATEMENT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.
好吧，我不想浪费你们时间
ALL RIGHT,
I’M GOING TO SAVE YOU GUYS SOME TROUBLE.
要我放弃？ 只要将球传给我一次
WANT ME TO QUIT?
GIVE ME THE BALL ONCE.
如果我投不准，我就放弃
IF I DON’T HIT EVANS, I’LL QUIT.
READY? BREAK!
预备
HEY, NOW!
准备…
ON 3!
SET!
HUT!
太美了
BEAUTIFUL! HA HA HA!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
他很有潜能…
THERE’S A POTENTIAL THERE, HUH? HE’S…
OK, OK.
-别太兴奋 -我知道
TAKE IT EASY, MR. FARNSWORTH.
-可恶，你在干甚麽？ -他在干甚麽？
I KNOW.
SHIT, MAN, WHAT YOU DOING?
准备好没？散
WHAT’S HE DOING?
READY? BREAK.
注意传球
RED RIGHT, RED RIGHT. WATCH THE PASS.
4-3.
SET! 3!
HUT!
很不错
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
1-81! HUT!
这个富豪四分卫打得很好
I THINK WE GOT US A RICH QUARTERBACK.
他看起来很不错
HE’S LOOKING AWFUL GOOD.
老天，你打得棒极了
BOY, YOU PULLED IT OFF.
是吗？我想我应该可以胜任
YOU REALLY PULLED IT OFF.
YEAH? I DON’T KNOW. I THINK I CAN DO IT.
法思沃斯先生 你在大学时代打球吗？
HEY, MR. FARNSWORTH, PLAY ANY COLLEGE BALL?
我打马球
NO. I PLAYED A LITTLE POLO.
他竟在接待整个橄榄球队
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
HE BROUGHT THE WHOLE GODDAMN TEAM HOME.
那不是橄榄球队
THAT’S NOT A FOOTBALL TEAM.
有些老人和瘦子
THERE ARE OLDER MEN AND SKINNY YOUNGER MEN.
还有那些女人
LOOK AT THE WOMEN.
那些人是生态小组 太灰提供资金给他们
THAT’S THE ECOLOGY GROUP
他开始设下圈套
THAT EXO-GREY IS FUNDING.
HE’S GETTING READY TO SPRING SOME KIND OF A TRAP.
橄榄球队、生态小组还有离婚
THIS WHOLE THING– THE FOOTBALL TEAM GAG,
THE ECOLOGY CRAP, THE DIVORCE BIT–
只有离婚他还未宣佈
IT’S ALL PART OF SOME PLOT.
THE MINUTE HE ANNOUNCES OUR DIVORCE,
到时我们杀了他后 我将是最大的嫌疑犯
I’LL BE THE FIRST SUSPECT WHEN WE KILL HIM.
亲爱的，或许我有点傻 但我会觉得安心点…
DARLING, PERHAPS I’M JUST BEING SILLY,
BUT I’D BE MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE–
我是不是触犯了你？
HAVE I OFFENDED YOU IN SOME WAY?
别用你的手盖住我的嘴
DON’T PUT YOUR HAND OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN.
-你以前很喜欢的 -如果现在不行动，就来不及
I’M SORRY, DARLING. YOU USED TO LIKE IT.
IF WE DON’T DO SOMETHING, WE’LL LOSE IT ALL.
我会被迫签下协议书
I SHOULD HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED
我只会得到一些津贴 而你就会被开除
FOR SIGNING A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
I’LL WIND UP WITH MY WARDROBE AND SOME ALLOWANCE.
-我们会拥有彼此 -他控告我们就不会…
YOU’LL BE FIRED WITHOUT REFERENCES.
WE’LL STILL HAVE EACH OTHER.
别又再来了
NOT AFTER THE LAST 2 MURDERS. DON’T YOU TRY IT.
THE PROBLEM IS, IF A NEIGHBOR’S TREE
IS IN THE WAY OF THE SEWER…
要许愿吗？
WANT TO MAKE A WISH?
-好 -好的，这裡
YES.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE.
-在这儿 -非常好
GO AHEAD.
HEY, VERY GOOD.
[PLOP]
HEY.
UH…
TELL ME, DO YOU THINK IT’S SILLY,
你认为当橄榄球员很愚蠢吗？
ME TRYING TO BE A FOOTBALL PLAYER?
当然不会，那是你想做的
OF COURSE NOT. THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT.
-你认为我可以办到吗？ -你可以做任何你想做的事
YOU THINK I CAN DO IT?
I THINK YOU COULD DO ANYTHING YOU WANTED.
任何事你只要下定决心 就能办到
ANYTHING YOU COMMITTED TO DO YOU COULD DO.
因为我是个企业大亨？
‘CAUSE I’M A BIG WHEEL AT EXO-GREY.
IT’S ‘CAUSE YOU’RE NOT AFRAID OF THINGS.
-你甚麽都不怕 -怕？为甚麽要怕？
AFRAID OF THINGS?
WHY WOULD I BE AFRAID?
大多数的人都害怕某些事
WELL, YOU KNOW,
MOST PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF SOMETHING, AREN’T THEY?
你想知道我害怕甚麽吗？
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE ONLY THING I’M AFRAID OF?
如果我不能跟你在一起 我会有甚麽感受？
HOW I’D FEEL IF I COULDN’T BE WITH YOU.
那就没甚麽好怕的，对吧？
THEN THERE’S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF, IS THERE?
[HORN HONKS]
-我得走了 -等一等，我…
GOT TO GO.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
I’D–THE–
你想嫁给我吗？
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT MARRYING ME?
-那太疯狂了？ -不，那一点都不疯狂
IT’S CRAZY, HUH?
NO, IT DOESN’T SOUND CRAZY.
-如果我… -怎麽了？
YOU KNOW, IF–IF I…
WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS IT?
你能在这裡等一下吗？ 我马上回来
COULD YOU WAIT HERE? I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.
-甚麽事？ -很抱歉，潘勒顿先生
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I’M SORRY, MR. PENDLETON.
你不能再继续使用 法思沃斯的身体了
I’M AFRAID YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO USE