上错天堂投错胎（1978）

我可不想说德语
WELL, I DON’T WANT TO TALK GERMAN.
[CRASH]
我得用英语来指挥我的队员
I GOT TO BE ABLE TO CALL PLAYS IN ENGLISH.
乔，希望你能放宽你的要求
JOE, IF YOU COULD NOT SO MUCH LOWER
BUT BROADEN YOUR STANDARDS.
我们已经看了很多人选 选择越来越少了
WE’VE SEEN MANY BODIES,
AND THE CHOICES ARE BECOMING LIMITED.
-茱莉，我求求你… -我需要喝杯酒
Julia, please, I beg of you.
I WANT A DRINK.
-亲爱的，求求你 -我一定要喝一杯
THERE’S PLENTY–
I’VE GOT TO HAVE A DRINK.
法思沃斯先生 讨厌冷掉的黄瓜汤
NO, NO, NO.
MR. FARNSWORTH LOATHES COLD CUCUMBER SOUP.
这间房♥子很不错 谁住在这裡？
HEY, THIS IS SOME HOUSE. WHO LIVES HERE?
里奥法思沃斯 他是个有权有势的人
LEO FARNSWORTH, A MAN OF ENORMOUS POWER.
WE SHOULD MAKE THE ARRANGEMENT LATER THIS AFTERNOON.
谢谢你，西斯克
THANK YOU, SISK.
你离开后，别关上门，谢谢
JUST LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN AS YOU LEAVE, SISK.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
越多僕人看到我们越好
THE MORE SERVANTS WHO SEE US, THE BETTER.
-这个傢伙，不会吧 -他不是法思沃斯
Joe: THIS GUY? ARE YOU KIDDING?
Jordan: THAT’S NOT FARNSWORTH.
把酒给我
GIVE ME A DRINK. DON’T DRINK.
-他们是谁？ -法思沃斯的太太和秘书
WHO ARE THEY?
FARNSWORTH’S WIFE AND HIS CONFIDENTIAL SECRETARY.
-你恨我 -别傻了，我爱你
YOU HATE ME.
DON’T BE RIDICULOUS. I LOVE YOU.
我现在就要喝酒，汤尼…
I WANT A DRINK! TONY–
如果你不喝酒会好一点
IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU DIDN’T DRINK.
还要多久他们才会发现他？
HOW LONG WILL IT BE BEFORE THEY FIND HIM?
我不知道，不会太久的
I DON’T KNOW, DARLING.
IT SHOULDN’T BE LONG, MY DEAREST.
-我很高兴我们做了 -我们是逼不得已的
I’M GLAD WE DID IT.
如果你能冷静点会比较好 谢谢你，茱莉
WE COULDN’T HELP IT.
JULIA, IT WOULD BE BETTER
IF YOU’D TRY NOT TO UNRAVEL NOW.
-法思沃斯死了吗？ -还没
THANK YOU, JULIA.
IS FARNSWORTH DEAD YET?
NOT YET.
他怎麽了？他无法张开眼睛
WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH HIM?
HE CAN’T KEEP HIS EYES OPEN.
他被楼下那两个下了药 他是被谋杀的
HE’S BEEN DRUGGED BY THOSE TWO DOWNSTAIRS.
THIS IS A MURDER.
你看到他正慢慢滑进水裡
YOU SEE HOW HE’S SLOWLY SLIDING INTO THE WATER?
来人…
HEY, SOMEBODY, GET–
快叫医生来，这裡有人…
HEY, HEY, GET A DOCTOR. THERE’S A GUY–
快叫医生，有人快要淹死了
HEY, GET A DOCTOR.
YOU GOT A GUY DROWNING IN THE BATHTUB.
-你留了一个罐子在地上 -我不能一次拿那麽多东西
YOU LEFT A BARE POT ON THE CARPET.
I CAN’T HOLD EVERYTHING AT ONCE.
如果被法思沃斯太太看到 她会杀了你
MRS. FARNSWORTH
WOULD KILL YOU IF SHE SAW THAT.
来人，有人…
HEY, SOMEBODY! YOU GOT, UH–
-让我喝酒 -别这麽激动
GIVE ME A DRINK. I’D LIKE A DRINK!
TRY NOT TO GO OVERBOARD, DEAR.
他是个好色的虐待狂 每个人都巴不得要他死
HE WAS A LECHEROUS, SADISTIC SON OF A BITCH.
-我应该被表扬才对 -或许我们应该喝一杯
EVERYONE WANTED HIM DEAD. I SHOULD BE CANONIZED!
PERHAPS ONE DRINK.
-他会在哪裡？ -很抱歉，罗根小姐
Woman: WHERE CAN THE MAN BE?
他会损失甚麽？
Sisk: I’M SORRY, MISS LOGAN.
WHAT HARM CAN THAT DO HIM?
-够了 -他该死
Julia: WE DID IT,
BUT THAT MAN DESERVES TO BE DEAD.
他们没有？不会吧 他们是谋杀犯
Tony: PLEASE.
发生了甚麽事？
Joe: THEY’RE MURDERERS.
很抱歉，先生 罗根小姐想见法思沃斯先生
WHAT’S GOING ON OUT THERE?
I’M SORRY, SIR. IT’S THAT MISS LOGAN
HERE TO SEE MR. FARNSWORTH.
-带她进来 -是的
SHOW HER IN.
YES, SIR.
OH, MY GOD.
这是最好的不在场证明 她坚持要见他
NO. IT’S THE PERFECT ALIBI.
SHE INSISTS ON SEEING HIM.
-我们再去找另一个身体 -僕人会去找他
LET’S LOOK FOR ANOTHER BODY.
A SERVANT WILL FIND THE BODY.
你先失陪 然后让西斯克一直待在你身边
KEEP SISK WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES
TO ESTABLISH YOUR WHEREABOUTS.
-我们走吧 -罗根小姐来了
LET’S GET OUT OF HERE.
Sisk: MISS LOGAN, SIR.
罗根小姐，我是汤尼亚伯特
OH, MISS LOGAN. I’M TONY ABBOTT.
这裡是书房♥ 她是法思沃斯太太
THIS IS THE LIBRARY.
THAT’S MRS. FARNSWORTH.
你好，我要去客厅
HELLO.
I’M GOING INTO THE LIVING ROOM.
-西斯克，要一起来吗？ -好的，太太
WANT TO COME, SISK?
OH, YES. CERTAINLY, MADAM.
我是法思沃斯的私人执行秘书
I’M MR. FARNSWORTH’S
PERSONAL AND PRIVATE EXECUTIVE SECRETARY.
不知道你是否知道这点 很抱歉他现在很忙
I DIDN’T KNOW WHETHER YOU KNEW THAT.
I’M SORRY HE’S NOT DOWN YET.
THAT’S ALL RIGHT. I’LL WAIT.
没关係，我可以等
WOULD YOU TAKE A SEAT?
-请坐 -不了，谢谢
NO, THANK YOU.
或许你可以跟我谈谈你的来意
PERHAPS YOU’D LIKE TO TELL ME WHAT IT’S ABOUT.
法思沃斯先生有收到…
MR. FARNSWORTH HAS BEEN SENT HUNDREDS OF LETTERS
从帕格显寄来的上百封信
FROM A TOWN IN ENGLAND CALLED PAGGLESHAM.
在帕格显居住的1600名居民 包括我父亲在内
THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE THERE– 1,600, INCLUDING MY FATHER–
他们因为贵公♥司♥的提炼厂
ARE ABOUT TO BE FORCIBLY EVICTED FROM THEIR HOMES
将要被逐出他们居住的地方
TO MAKE WAY FOR THE PROPOSED EXO-GREY REFINERY.
几百个家庭将会被逼迁
NOT ONLY WILL HUNDREDS OF FAMILIES
BE FORCED TO FIND OTHER HOMES,
那些仍然住在那裡的居民
BUT THE FEW WHO REMAIN WILL HAVE THEIR HEALTH ENDANGERED
也会被污染的空气和水源 危害到健康
BY THE INEVITABLE POISONING OF THEIR AIR AND WATER,
这是我所掌握的证据
THE DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE FOR WHICH I HAVE HERE,
上面还有1673名居民的签名
ALONG WITH A PETITION
SIGNED BY THE 1,673 CITIZENS OF THAT AREA.
这就是我的来意
THIS IS WHAT I’M HERE
法思沃斯先生 通常在办公室处理事务
TO SEE MR. FARNSWORTH ABOUT.
YOU’RE AWARE MR. FARNSWORTH
CONDUCTS BUSINESS AT HIS OFFICE?
我已经去过他的办公室 他拒绝见我
I’VE BEEN TO HIS OFFICE. HE REFUSED TO SEE ME.
-我猜他也不会在这裡见你 -他一定得见我，否则我不走
I SERIOUSLY DOUBT HE’D SEE YOU HERE.
HE’LL HAVE TO, BECAUSE I’M NOT LEAVING.
-你说甚麽？ -我不走
I’M SORRY?
I’M NOT LEAVING.
我大老远的跑来这裡
I’VE COME 8,000 MILES, MR. ABBOTT,
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT A TERRIBLE INJUSTICE
就是要为这群无助的居民伸冤
THAT THIS MAN LEO FARNSWORTH HAS PERPETRATED
ON HUNDREDS OF INNOCENT, DEFENSELESS PEOPLE.
-应该有人帮帮她 -你可以当法思沃斯来帮她
SOMEBODY OUGHT TO HELP HER.
YOU CAN HELP HER, JOE.
YOU CAN BE FARNSWORTH.
如果法思沃斯先生不见我 我不知道我会做出甚麽事来
IF MR. FARNSWORTH DOESN’T SEE ME,
I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’LL DO.
-你是在威胁吗？ -是的
Tony: IS THAT A THREAT?
YES.
我很想帮她但不想当法思沃斯
I DON’T WANT TO BE FARNSWORTH.
-你自己做决定 -你不给我任何选择，西斯克
THE DECISION IS YOURS.
MISS LOGAN, YOU GIVE ME NO CHOICE.
SISK!
如果我要当法思沃斯 可以只是暂时性的吗？
IF I HAD TO BE FARNSWORTH,
COULD WE DO IT TEMPORARY?
我们可以这麽安排
YES.
WE COULD ARRANGE THAT IF YOU WISH IT.
西斯克，告诉法思沃斯先生 罗根小姐拒绝离开
SISK!
SISK, PLEASE TELL MR. FARNSWORTH
MISS LOGAN IS HERE
是的，先生
AND REFUSES TO LEAVE.
如果你真想救她，你最好快点
YES, SIR.
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP HER,
YOU’D BETTER HURRY.
-只是暂时性的吧？ -没错
WELL, IT’S ONLY TEMPORARY, RIGHT?
THAT’S CORRECT.
只有法思沃斯可以帮她
ONLY FARNSWORTH CAN HELP HER.
一旦尸体被发现 一切就会太迟了
ONCE THE BODY’S DISCOVERED, IT’LL BE TOO LATE.
HEY.
是我，一点都没改变
THAT’S ME.
I HAVEN’T CHANGED.
-还是我的样子 -法思沃斯先生？
IT’S JUST ME.
Sisk: MR. FARNSWORTH?
-我们该怎麽做？ -你在裡面吗？
NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
MR. FARNSWORTH, ARE YOU THERE, SIR?
我会被拆穿的 我们该怎麽办？
I’LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS.
你没事吧？
WHAT WILL WE DO NOW?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
-快回答他 -他们可以听到我的声音了？
ANSWER HIM.
PEOPLE CAN HEAR ME NOW?
-当然 -但他认得出声音不同的
OF COURSE.
BUT HE KNOWS THE OTHER GUY’S VOICE.
法思沃斯先生，你没事吧？
MR. FARNSWORTH, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN THERE?
快回答他
ANSWER HIM.
AHEM. UM, WILL YOU TAKE IT EASY?
别那麽紧张，我马上出来
I’LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE.
-好的，先生 -成功了
VERY GOOD, SIR.