上错天堂投错胎（1978）

I’M YOUR ESCORT.
潘勒顿先生，请等等我
WAIT FOR ME, PLEASE, MR. PENDLETON.
潘勒顿先生，请排在队伍后面
THE END OF THE LINE, MR. PENDLETON, PLEASE.
HI. HOW YOU DOING?
你好，你想听点音乐吗？
HEY, YOU WANT TO HEAR A LITTLE MUSIC?
-你得排队 -甚麽？我是在作梦吧？
YOU HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE.
WHAT? THIS IS MY DREAM, ISN’T IT?
你不能脱离队伍
YOU MUSTN’T GET OUT OF LINE. REALLY!
-管家，保罗 -好的
CHAMBERLAIN, PAUL R.
ALL RIGHT. I THINK I’VE BROUGHT THE, UH…
我已经带来最后的乘客 所有人都已到齐
I’VE ESCORTED THE FINAL–
ASTERISK THIS MANIFEST AS COMPLETE.
-你好 -你得排队登机
HI.
YOU CANNOT BOARD BEFORE YOUR TURN.
我不要排队，我也不登机
I DON’T NEED A TURN. I’M NOT BOARDING.
你不明白 这不是你最终的目的地
I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.
THIS ISN’T YOUR ULTIMATE DESTINATION.
THIS IS A WAY STATION.
飞机会载你去最终目的地
THAT WILL TAKE YOU TO YOUR ULTIMATE DESTINATION.
我不去 我要在醒来前再跑一阵子
I’M NOT GOING.
I’M GOING TO RUN AROUND TILL I WAKE UP.
恐怕我还未解释清楚 这裡的规则
I’M AFRAID I HAVEN’T FULLY EXPLAINED THE BASIS
ON WHICH THIS SYSTEM IS ORGANIZED.
这些规则是由上帝制定
THIS WAY STATION’S RULES DERIVED FROM YOURS.
人类一直都遵守著
THEY’RE A PRODUCT OF YOUR IMAGE
AND THE IMAGE OF THOSE WHO SHARE YOUR IMAGE.
如果你违反规则，整个原则…
VIOLATE THE RULES, QUESTION THE PRINCIPLES–
你想看点小把戏吗？
YOU WANT TO SEE A TRICK?
我做这个来保持外展肌柔软
I DO THIS ONCE IN A WHILE
我的戏法变化并不多
TO KEEP MY ABDUCTOR POLLICIS LIMBER.
YOU WANT TO FEEL THAT?
感觉一下，这是五角钱
THAT’S A PERFECTLY SOLID 50-CENT PIECE.
我把它丢进另一隻手裡
I JUST THROW THAT INTO THAT HAND, YOU SEE.
然后说些「天灵灵地灵灵」 就不见了
I SAY THE MAGIC WORDS, ABRACADABRA.
AND THEN PRESTO, IT’S GONE.
你可能认为它还在我手上
YOU PROBABLY THINK I STILL HAVE IT.
你错了，因为它在你耳朵后方
YOU’RE WRONG,
‘CAUSE I CAN SEE IT COMING OUT OF YOUR EAR.
这是我唯一懂得的戏法
THAT’S THE ONLY TRICK I KNOW.
-潘勒顿先生 -怎麽了？
MR. PENDLETON!
GENTLEMEN.
为甚麽延迟了？
GENTLEMEN, WHAT’S THE DELAY?
有个新来的不愿意登机
SIR, WE’VE RECEIVED A NEW ARRIVAL
WHO REFUSES TO BOARD.
不可能的 你有向他解释规则吗？
BUT THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.
HAVE YOU EXPLAINED THE RULES TO HIM?
-有的 -很清楚吗？
YES, SIR.
-是的 -那他怎麽说？
QUITE CLEARLY?
YES, SIR.
AND WHAT WAS HIS REBUTTAL?
HE TOOK A COIN OUT OF MY EAR.
他从我耳后拿出一枚硬币来
DID HE?
是吗？或许我该和他谈谈
PERHAPS I SHOULD HAVE A WORD WITH HIM.
好的，潘勒顿先生
YES, SIR.
MR. PENDLETON!
他就在那裡
HE’S RIGHT OVER THERE, SIR.
-潘勒顿先生 -你可以叫我乔
MR. PENDLETON!
YEAH. HEY, YOU CAN CALL ME JOE.
你好
HOW YOU DOING?
MR. PENDLETON,
潘勒顿先生 你知道你身在何处吗？
YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, DON’T YOU?
我在一场奇怪的梦中
I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A REALLY WEIRD DREAM.
-你知道问题所在了吧？ -乔，过来这裡
YOU SEE THE PROBLEM?
JOE, COME HERE.
看著我，仔细听我说
LOOK AT ME
AND LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT I’M SAYING.
YEAH?
-你不是在作梦 -对
THIS IS NOT A DREAM.
YEAH.
生命有一种特别的感觉
LIFE HAS A CERTAIN QUALITY ALL ITS OWN,
A CERTAIN FEELING, AND SO DO DREAMS.
梦也是一样 你知道你已经不再活著
YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT LIFE,
你也知道这并不是梦
AND YOU KNOW NOW THAT THIS IS NOT A DREAM.
这裡是生命完结之后的地方
THIS IS A PLACE THAT COMES AFTER LIFE
AND AFTER DREAMS.
我知道你明白，现在请你登机
I’M SURE YOU’RE AWARE OF THAT
AND THAT YOU’LL TAKE YOUR PLACE WITH THE OTHERS.
你是在告诉我…
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME…
-我不该在这裡的 -但你已来到这裡
I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
BUT YOU ARE HERE.
你们搞错了
WELL, YOU GUYS MADE A MISTAKE.
我们不可能弄错 你正在跟乔登先生说话
THIS IS INSUPPORTABLE.
YOU’RE TALKING TO MR. JORDAN.
-任何人都可能犯错 -乔登先生，飞机该起飞了
ANYBODY CAN MAKE A MISTAKE.
MR. JORDAN, WE’RE DUE TO TAKE OFF.
这裡有点麻烦 乔，如果你不登机…
YES, I HAVE THE SITUATION IN HAND.
JOE, IF YOU DON’T TAKE YOUR PLACE,
别人就不能完成旅程 这样公平吗？
THE OTHERS CAN’T COMPLETE THEIR JOURNEY.
DO YOU THINK THAT’S FAIR?
公平不是由我来决定而是你 我并没有犯错
IF THIS IS REALLY HEAVEN,
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE FAIR.
I DIDN’T MAKE ANY MISTAKE.
这裡不是天堂 只是一个停留站，不可能出错
THIS IS NOT HEAVEN. IT’S A WAY STATION.
THERE IS NO MISTAKE.
我要你查看乔潘勒顿的档案
I WANT A CHECK-OUT ON JOSEPH PENDLETON.
他何时该来这个停留站报到？
WHEN IS HE DUE TO ARRIVE AT THIS WAY STATION?
我不明白，为何还要查看？
SIR, I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
A CHECK-OUT? WHY?
如果连他也找不出错误
THE LIKELIHOOD OF ONE INDIVIDUAL BEING RIGHT
那麽事情就应该是对的
INCREASES IN DIRECT PROPORTION
TO THE INTENSITY WITH WHICH OTHERS
ARE TRYING TO PROVE HIM WRONG.
乔潘勒顿，应于2025年 3月20日10点17分报到
PENDLETON, JOSEPH–
DUE TO ARRIVE 10:17 A.M.
MARCH 20th OF THE YEAR 2025.
我真不敢相信
SIR, I REALLY CAN’T BELIEVE IT. I–
我在意外之前…带走他
I TOOK HIM OUT–I–
I TOOK HIM OUT JUST BEFORE THE ACCIDENT.
你做了甚麽？
YOU DID WHAT?
THAT CAR COULDN’T HAVE MISSED HIM.
你不该这麽做 你应该等待事情发生
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE OUTCOME.
我以为他必死无疑 而且他似乎很痛苦
BUT I WAS SO SURE,
AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT WOULD BE PAINFUL.
-等等，你意思是… -这是你的第一份任务吗？
WAIT. ARE YOU SAYING–
IS THIS YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT AS AN ESCORT?
-是的 -你没学到规则吗？
YES, SIR.
HAVEN’T YOU LEARNED
就是「生死无常」
THE RULES OF PROBABILITY AND OUTCOME?
EVERY QUESTION OF LIFE AND DEATH
REMAINS A PROBABILITY UNTIL THE OUTCOME.
所以他提早拿走我的生命了
SO HE JUMPED THE GUN.
只要让我回去 一切就可以一笔勾消
PUT ME BACK WHERE YOU FOUND ME,
AND WE’LL FORGET THE WHOLE THING.
这个人得马上回到他的身体裡
THIS MAN MUST BE PUT BACK INTO HIS BODY AT ONCE.
YEAH.
谢谢你，乔登先生 我们50年后再见
THANKS, MR. JORDAN.
HEY, I’LL SEE YOU IN ABOUT 50 YEARS.
-麦斯，我回来了 -他听不到你的声音
HEY, HEY, MAX.
MAX, I’M BACK. I’M BACK.
HE CAN’T HEAR YOU, MR. PENDLETON.
我希望天堂有最棒的橄榄球队
I HOPE THEY GOT…
THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN AMERICA IN HEAVEN,
我也希望上帝让你当正选
AND I HOPE GOD MAKES YOU FIRST-STRING.
AW…
我要去拿回我的身体 我的身体在哪裡？
MAX, I’M GOING TO GET MY BODY BACK.
WHERE’S MY BODY? WHERE DO THEY KEEP–
-我的老天 -火化？我明白了
OH, DEAR.
CREMATED. I SEE.
我星期天就要跟达拉斯队比赛
I’M STARTING AGAINST DALLAS ON SUNDAY.
你在地球上的身体已被火化了
JOE, THE BODY YOU OCCUPIED ON EARTH
你们一定能想到甚麽办法的
HAS BEEN CREMATED.
WELL, UNCREMATE ME, THAT’S ALL.
YOU MUST BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT.
你懂得甚麽是体育精神吗？
DOES “NOT BEING A GOOD SPORT”
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
我们可以让你进入别人的身体
JOE, WE CAN PUT YOU INTO ANOTHER MAN’S BODY,
但他的死亡必须还没被发现
PROVIDED HIS DEATH HAS NOT YET BEEN DISCOVERED.
让我进入别人的身体？ 你在开甚麽玩笑
ARE YOU KIDDING?
PUT ME INTO ANOTHER MAN’S BODY?
我才刚把我的体格练好
I JUST GOT MY BODY BACK IN SHAPE.
JOE, THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN RETURN TO LIFE
你唯一能复活的方法 就是进入别人的身体
IS IN THE BODY OF ANOTHER MAN.
我会亲自处理这个任务
I SHALL HAVE TO TAKE CHARGE OF THIS CASE PERSONALLY.
他跟你差不多年纪 体格跟个性也不错
INCREDIBLY GRACEFUL.
HE’S ABOUT YOUR AGE AND IN PERFECT CONDITION.
他太矮了，看不到前面的球员
HE’S TOO SHORT. HE’D NEVER SEE OVER THE LINE.
AAH! AAH!
你知道要打超级杯 需要甚麽样的体格吗？
YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF SHAPE YOU GOTTA BE IN
是的，我知道
TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL?
YES, JOE. I UNDERSTAND.
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
-他说的不是英语 -我已告诉你他是德国人
HE’S NOT TALKING ENGLISH.
I TOLD YOU HE WAS GERMAN.
-你会说英语吗？ -他看不到或听不到我们的
HEY, YOU TALK ANY ENGLISH?
WE CAN’T BE SEEN OR HEARD, JOE.