好小子们

命中
Oh, shoot.
闻起来像屎
They smell like shit.
你们好 卢卡斯在吗
Hello. Uh, I’m looking for Lucas.
-是我 -我是克劳德
– That’s me. – I’m Claude.
后面那是我妈
That’s my mom back there.
你好
Hi-ya!
别废话 你是恋童癖吗
Let’s cut the shit. Are you a pedophile?
什么 我不是
What? No.
卢卡斯 如果你是个恋童癖
Lucas, if you were a pedophile
站在三个落单的男孩面前
standing in front of three single boys,
-你会承认这件事吗 -可能不会吧
– would you admit it? – Probably not.
那他为什么要承认
Then why would he?
得了吧 我看起来像个恋童癖吗
Oh, come on. Do I look like a pedophile?
-那当然 -百分之一千
– Yes, absolutely. – 1,000%.
那不公平
That’s not fair.
你比我见过的任何人都像恋童癖
You look more like a pedophile than anyone I’ve ever seen.
我不是恋童癖 我是个好人
Look, I’m not a pedophile. I’m a cool guy.
好吧 你可以进来 但是请脱鞋
Fine. You can come in, but please take your shoes off.
我满世界找这张卡
You know, I’ve searched the world for this.
你干嘛要带彩弹枪
Why are you bringing the paintball gun?
以防有人找我们麻烦
In case anyone fucks with us.
这张卡真是美极了
This card is exquisite.
你们怎么得到的
How’d you get it?
我搬来的那年夏天
The summer I moved here,
麦克斯 索尔和我做起了给狗洗澡的生意
me, Max and Thor started a dog-washing business.
我们挣到了八块钱 然后用这钱
We earned eight bucks, and we used the money
暗♥杀♥神 桌游名
买♥♥了一套暗♥杀♥神 这张卡就在里面
to buy an Ascension pack, and this card was in it.
你们运气真好
Well, you got very lucky.
真正的好运是我认识了麦克斯和索尔
The real luck was meeting Max and Thor.
真有趣
Fascinating.
我们自称”沙包男孩”
We started calling ourselves the Bean Bag Boys.
你知道为什么吗
You know why?
因为你们有沙包
Because you had some beanbags?
-正是 -真不错
– That’s right. – Yeah. Genius.
你做成了一笔生意
You got yourself a deal.
来吧 成交吧
Let’s go. Let’s make it happen.
不行 我做不到
No, I can’t do this.
对不起
Sorry.
卢卡斯 赶紧给我过来
Lucas, get your butt over here right now.
请问 这就是12岁的交易方式吗
Excuse me, is this how all 12-year-olds conduct business?
刚才是怎么回事
What the hell just happened?
我还以为你能搞定这事
I thought you were cool with this.
你说过缺了我们中的一个就成不了这事
You said we wouldn’t do this if one of us wasn’t on board.
-我退出了 -你为什么这么在乎
– I’m not on board. – Why do you care so much?
你为什么不在乎 这张卡留存了许多记忆
Why don’t you care? This card has a lot of memories,
而你正打算把它抛诸脑后
and you’re just gonna throw it all away
好去和某些庸俗的女孩接吻
because you want to kiss some basic girl?
犀利
Savage.
布莉克斯丽才不是某些女孩
Brixlee isn’t just some girl.
我们以后可能会结婚的
We’re probably gonna get married.
每段婚姻都以离异结束
Every marriage ends in divorce.
卢卡斯 你被否决了
Lucas, you’re outvoted.
我敢肯定你说的是气话
Listen, I can tell you’re lashing out with anger,
但布莉克斯丽很有可能是我一生的挚爱
but Brixlee is probably the love of my life.
不好意思 太太 能给我一杯水吗
Excuse me, ma’am. Can I get a glass of water, please?
你好
Hello?
伙计们
Hey, guys?
能给我解释一下她是怎么回事吗
What can you tell me about her backstory?
她是从哪儿来的
Where is she supposed to be from?
看上去很有异域风情
She seems quite exotic.
好 听仔细了 我只出一次价
Okay, listen carefully, ’cause I’ll make this offer only once.
400块 把她卖♥♥给我
400 bucks to take her off your hands.
不行 我们要550美元
No. We need 550, US.
我靠 不是吧 那会花光我所有的零花钱
Fuck off. What? That’s my entire allowance.
克劳德 别在这废话了
Listen, Claude, let’s just cut the bullshit.
我是女强人的儿子 我想我们都清楚
I’m the son of a businesswoman, and I think we both know,
如果你不想买♥♥这个娃娃的话
if you didn’t want to buy the doll,
你早就拍屁♥股♥走人了
you would’ve left already.
别把我们当小孩耍 我们可是门儿清
Stop treating us like kids. We know how things work.
你到底要不要买♥♥心肺复苏娃娃
So, do you want to buy the CPR doll or not?
蠢蛋 我本来愿意付1000块的
Fools. I’d have paid a thousand.
有谁也觉得他会干那个人偶吗
Anyone else feel like he’s gonna fuck that doll?
我们得补充点水分
We should hydrate.
我们已经骑了14分钟没停过了
We’ve been biking for almost 14 minutes straight.
我们还没离家这么远过
I don’t think I’ve ever been this far from home.
倍受儿童喜爱的音乐剧
我感觉我在这儿表演过一场《猫》
I think I did a production of Cats around here.
你真的不打算再唱歌♥了
You’re really not gonna sing anymore?
是啊 我从没这么开心过
Yeah. I’ve never been happier.
-把药还给我们 -靠
– Just give us the drugs. – Fuck.
你们怎么找到我们的
How’d you find us?
她的手♥机♥ 我们被跟踪了
Her phone. They tracked us.
我们才不会把药给你们
We’re not giving you these drugs.
我们要交给消防员
We’re giving them to firefighters.
找人帮忙吧
Get help.
-走 -我们开的是车 小笨蛋们
– Go! – We’re in a car, dipshits.
你们不可能比我们快
You’re not gonna outrun us.
我的自行车更快 蠢货
Not on my fast bike, nerds.
祝你们在车里好运 手下败将
Good luck getting your car in here, losers!
妈的
Shit.
你去哪儿
Where are you going?
休想把药拿回去
You’re not getting these drugs back!
把药还给她吧
Just give her the sex drugs!
分散
Peel off!
我不能让你毁了你的
I won’t let you destroy your Ii…
你没事吧
Are you okay?
卢卡斯 你还好吗
Lucas, are you okay?
怎么回事
What the hell happened?
我们要逃出保姆的魔掌
We were running away from our babysitter
因为她想摸我们的小鸡鸡
’cause she was trying to touch our penises.
什么 他们在撒谎
What? That is not true.
是真的
Yes, it is.
-我没有 -你有
– I wasn’t. – Yeah, you were.
我没有
I wasn’t…
-走 走 走 快走 -发生什么事了
– Go, go, go, go, go! Go, go! – What happened?
赶紧走
Go, go!
卢卡斯 你没事吧
Lucas, are you okay?
我觉得我没事
I think I’m fine.
你的胳膊
Your arm.
天呐
Oh, hell no.
我去报♥警♥
Yo, I’m-a call 911.
-救命 救命 -不用了 没事
– Help! Help! – No, it’s okay.
这事经常发生
This happens all the time.
来吧 我们走 我们走 快走
Come on, we got to go. We got to go. Go.
-救命 -我们走吧
– Help! Ow! – We got… Come on.
我来拿自行车
I’ll get the bikes.
我把她们的手♥机♥扔进灌木丛了
I threw their phone in a prickle bush.
这样她们就无法跟踪我们了
So they can’t track us anymore.
痛死我了
Oh, the pain!
卢卡斯 你得保持安静
Lucas, you have to be quiet.
有冰块吗
Okay, do we have any ice?
没有 我们在一条小巷子里
No, we’re in a fucking alley.
那止疼药呢
What about pain medication?
-我们有莫莉 可以给他吃 -不行
– We have the Molly we can give him. – No!
也是 他可能会想上我们俩
Yeah, he’s probably just gonna try and have sex with us.
打电♥话♥叫救护车
Call an ambulance!
-任务结束了 -我们会被捕的
– Mission’s over! – We’ll get busted.
况且你有保险吗
Plus, do you even have insurance?
我不知道 你有吗
I don’t know. Do you?
我也不知道
I don’t know.