开车 快开
Drive! Drive!
卢卡斯 拿来
Lucas, drugs.
不 等等 我先看看瓶子里是什么
No, no, no, no, no. Let me see what’s in the bottle.
是 当然了
Yeah. Of course.
给我就行了
Okay, just give it to me.
你们可真是一帮狠人
Wow, you guys are little badasses.
因为我们是沙包男孩
‘Cause we’re the Bean Bag Boys.
我不懂什么意思
I don’t know what that means.
我们有沙包
We have beanbags.
这是真的 伙计们
It’s been real, guys.
祝你们在接吻派对玩得开心
Have fun at your kissing party.
谢谢
Thank you.
我们现在离家只有不到三公里
Oh. We’re only 1.7 miles away.
怎么了 我们拿到了无人机
What’s wrong? We got the drone.
一切都搞定了
Everything worked out.
麦克斯 我的脸被人打了
Max. I got punched in the fucking face, okay?
我们买♥♥了毒品
We bought drugs.
我们现在能赶紧回家吗
Can we just go home now?
各位 是我爸
Guys, it’s my dad.
爸爸
Hey, Dad.
你好 小家伙 我坐了早班机回来
Hey, buddy. I got on the early flight,
所以我十五分钟之后到家
so I’ll be home in 15 minutes.
现在开始的十五分钟还是过一会儿的
15 minutes from now or 15 minutes from later?
真有趣 一会儿见
Ha-ha, funny guy. I’ll see you soon.
我爸十五分钟之后到家
My dad will be home in 15 minutes.
或许他不会发现无人机不见了
Maybe he won’t notice that the drone’s gone.
他会的 他特别善于观察
He’ll notice. He’s very observant.
这就是为什么我妈妈会爱上他
That’s why my mom fell in love with him.
无人机要比你♥爸♥爸早到家
The drone has to be home before your dad.
我知道
I know.
只有无人机 不包括你
Just the drone. Not you.
只有无人机
Just the drone.
来吧
Okay.
出发
Here we go.
太棒了
Yes! Yes!
-小心 -我可以 我可以
– Careful. – I got this, I got this. Oh!
飞得再快一点 麦克斯
Fly like the wind, Max.
在这里右拐
Yeah, uh, take a right up here.
-我看到你家了 -到了 到了
– I can see your house. – There it is. There it is.
窗关着
The windows are closed.
-见鬼 怎么办 -从烟囱进
– Shit. What do I do? – The chimney.
-太窄了 -你可以的
– It’s very tight. – You got this.
见鬼 我看不清了 摄像头上全是灰
Shit! I can’t see. I can’t see. There’s ash all over the camera.
暴♥力♥解决
Use the Force.
不 我可以的 我很了解我家
No, I can do this. I know my house perfectly.
我闭着眼都可以完成
I can do this with my eyes closed.
别打破任何东西
Don’t break anything.
相信我 我能行
Trust me, I got this.
太好了 你做到了
Yeah! You did it! You got it!
我是最好的飞行员
Yes! I’m the best pilot ever!
太棒了
Yes!
-我们做到了 -是啊
– I think we did it. – Yeah.
任务完成
Mission accomplished.
爸爸
Hey, Dad.
你安全到家了吗
Did you get home safe?
真不敢相信我居然信了你
Cannot believe I trusted you!
我明确告诉过你
I explicitly told you,
不要碰无人机
do not touch the drone!
-我的天哪 -我爱你
– Oh, my God. – I love you.
爸爸
Dad?
爸爸 拜托 说你也爱我
Dad, please… say “I love you” back.
我想听你说
I need to hear it.
爸爸
Hello?
我爸说我被禁足了
My dad said that I’m grounded.
我永远也亲不到布莉克斯丽了
Now I’m never gonna be able to kiss Brixlee.
没关系 麦克斯 还会有别的派对的
It’s okay, Max. There’ll be other parties.
-卢卡斯 你不明白 -他说得对 卢卡斯
– Lucas, you don’t get it. – He’s right, Lucas.
这次派对能改变我们的生活
This party could change our lives,
你根本就不在乎
and you don’t even care.
这样一点儿也不酷
It’s not cool at all.
对啊 什么不酷你最清楚了
Yeah, you would know what’s not cool.
你♥他♥妈♥什么意思
What the fuck does that mean?
去喝你的啤酒吧 奶瓶仔
Go sip a beer, Sippy Cup.
我爱啤酒 放心 我会喝的
I love beer, so yes, I will.
你还以为自己很成熟是吧
And you may think you’re so mature,
事实是你屌♥毛都没有 而我已经有六根了
but the truth is you don’t have pubes, and I have six.
你说你有屌♥毛 还说你喝啤酒
You say you have pubes, but you also say you drink beer,
我知道你不是
and I know you don’t.
-别吵了 -你就承认吧
– Stop arguing! – Just admit
尽管你有被上帝吻过的嗓子
you skipped the audition because you thought it wasn’t cool
可是你因为觉得不酷就没去试音
even though your voice is a fucking gift.
你总是大言不惭 却从没做到过
And you always talk a big game, and you never back it up.
-就像刚才在高速公路上 -真是抱歉
– Like on the freeway. – Oh, sorry.
我才不会因为你想亲一个讨厌鬼
I didn’t want to cross 12 lanes of traffic
就横穿十二个车道
so you can kiss some skank.
-我去 -她才不是讨厌鬼
– Oh, shit. She’s not a skank.
她是我的一生所爱 收回你的话
She’s the love of my life. You take that back!
不准用空手道
Hey, no karate.
别打了
Stop fighting!
你永远不能说一个女人是讨厌鬼
You should never call a woman a skank.
你不能说女人任何东西
You should never call a woman anything.
还有你
And you…
你让我们逃课 带着毒品到处跑
You made us ditch school, run around with drugs,
还用棍子把警♥察♥锁在便利店里
and lock a cop in a convenience store
我现在怀疑那棍子就是个假屌♥
with what I now suspect is a dildo!
你♥他♥妈♥在看什么 甘道夫
What the fuck are you looking at, Gandalf?
你们俩懂个屁
You guys don’t understand shit.
我身体里面翻涌的荷尔蒙
I have hormones flowing through my body,
会让我做疯狂的事
making me do crazy things.
你们知道这种
Do you even know what it feels like
一直想抱着大树摩擦的感觉吗
to want to rub up against a tree all the time?
你觉得你比我们好
You think you’re better than us.
没有 只是比你们成熟
Not better, just more mature.
我喜欢浪漫和成熟的东西
I’m into romance and grown-up shit,
你们还在喜欢小孩子喜欢的东西
and you guys are still into little kid stuff.
我都不知道我们为什么还是朋友
I don’t even know why we’re still friends.
现在开始你喜欢的一切都被取消了
Everything you like is now canceled.
生日聚会取消 假期取消
Birthdays are canceled. Holidays are canceled.
暑假 也取消
Summers, canceled.
凛冬将至
Winter is coming.
-对不起 爸爸 -不不不
– I’m sorry, Daddy. – No, no, no.
以后也别叫我爸爸了
You are no longer allowed to call me Daddy.
叫我安德鲁或者纽曼先生或者监狱长
Call me Andrew or Mr. Newman or Warden.
你那天使般的面孔下住了个恶魔
Underneath that cherubic face, Devil lives inside you.
我会一直爱你 因为你是我儿子
I will always love you because you are my son.
但我已经不喜欢你了
But I no longer like you.
小索尔 我刚接到麦克斯妈妈的电♥话♥
Thorny. I just got off the phone with Max’s mom.
你知道他一个人逃课骑车去商场的事吗
Did you know he skipped school and biked to the mall by himself?
-他说的吗 -对
– He said that? – He did.
答应我你不会做这种蠢事 好吗
Promise me you’ll never do something as stupid as that, okay?
我答应你
I promise.
然后我们穿过公路
And then we ran across the highway,
我胳膊都摔脱臼了
my arm got ripped out,
然后一个假女人从车里窜出来
and a fake woman shot out of a car.
但我们还是拿到毒品了
But we still got the drugs.
然后我们拿毒品去换无人机
But then we traded the drone for it,
麦克斯又用无人机毁了他家
and Max destroyed his house with it.
这一切都是因为他想娶布莉克斯丽
But it was only because he wanted to marry Brixlee,
现在他娶不成了 因为他被终身禁足了
and now he can’t because he’s grounded for life.
我们大吵一架
And we got into a huge fight,