有关时间旅行的热门问题（2009）

这味儿闻上去真像有人死了
Eurgh! It certainly smells like someone died.
靠 你♥他♥妈♥干什么
Shit-shit-shit! What the fuck are you doing?
你要是有什么花招 你也得受着
If you’ve got anything planned, you’ll get it.
我什么花招都没有 能让我出去吗
I haven’t got anything planned. Will you let me out?
不行
Nope.
靠 我又进来了 靠
Oh, shit. I’m in again. Oh, shit.
-雷 看看隔间 -干吗
– Ray, check the loos. – What?
他说不定藏了个戴着鬼面具的家伙
He’s probably got some bloke in a scream mask.
这点子逊毙了
Or something even more brilliant.
这儿可真臭
Ooh! It really does stink in here.
你还不如现在就付我钱
You might as well just pay me now.
闻起来像大粪 像牲口圈
Oh, it’s like a dung-ey, zoo-ey kind of…
-你闻的是皮特放的狗屁 -听我说
– It’s Pete’s bullshit you can smell. – Listen!
我没想吓唬你们
This isn’t a wind-up.
你们真想看看未来吗
Do you really want to see the future?
想啊
I’d love to.
好 我做过什么你们就得做什么
Ok. You’ve got to do exactly what I did.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
请紧紧的拥抱我
If you’ll only hold me tight
我们将永远相拥…
We’ll be holding on forever…
真不敢相信我在做这个
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
感觉像在一个狗屁派对上跳康加舞
I feel like I’m doing the Conga at a really shit party.
我们永不会错…
Cos we’ll never be wrong…
-这有必要吗 -不知道 也许吧
– Is this really necessary? – I don’t know, it might be.
-别偷看 我尿不出来了 -我没偷看
– Don’t look. I can’t do it. – I wasn’t looking.
一起走遍天涯海角
Together we can make it to the end of the line
你的爱始终如影随形
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time…
对 抓紧
Right, hold on.
-干吗 -赢钱也不用这么费劲吧
– For what? – There must be easier ways of making money.
我们在做科学实验
It’s a science experiment.
现在 这点儿要抓紧我
Now, hold on tight for this bit.
我总被黑暗淹没 不知所措
I don’t know what to do I’m always in the dark
我们如同干柴烈火 激♥情♥澎湃
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks…
我有个主意
Here’s an idea.
也许有带日期显示刻度盘的时光机
Instead of a time machine that runs on karaoke and urine,
而不是这种靠唱歌♥小便运转的
Maybe they could have one with a dial, with dates on it.
这主意挺疯狂吧
Something crazy like that.
今晚我需要你的爱
I really need you tonight…
天哪
Oh, God!
永远将从今晚开始
Forever’s gonna start tonight…
爱情早已离我远去
Once upon a time I was falling in love
我的世界正在坍塌
Now I’m only falling apart…
皮特 你每次撒尿都整这套吗
Pete, do you really do this every time you take a piss?
-10镑赌会有事发生 -好吧
– Tenner says something happens. – Yeah!
不过得是明确点的事儿 比如说
But it’s gotta be something definite, like, say,
一个装满死人的酒吧
A pub full of dead people.
而不是什么扯淡的幻觉
Not just some bollocks weirdy feeling.
一言为定
Ok.
说不出只言片语
Nothing I can say
我的心…黯然无光
A total eclipse… of the heart
-什么声音 -别急
– What’s that I can hear? – Ssshh. Wait.
行了吧 怎么回事 死人说话了?
Oh, come on. What are they, the talking dead?
天哪 大家都还活着
Oh, my God! Everyone’s still alive.
我不知道刚才干了什么 但感觉很恶心
I don’t know what happened out there, but I feel dirty.
现在我要去买♥♥点花生
I’m going to get some peanuts now.
-掏钱吧 -没拉勾不算
– Pay up. – Didn’t shake hands.
你还是小孩吗
What are you, 12?
我发誓 我真看见自己了 就那儿
Look, I swear to you, I saw myself right here.
故事是王道
Story is king.
曾经是 永远是
Always has been, always will be.
这把我们喝酒的乐子都搅了
This is eating into our drinking time.
有人占了我们位子 雷
Someone’s got our seats, Ray.
真的? 我们东西还在那儿啊
Have they? Our stuff’s over there.
-他们看起来很面熟 是吧 -有一点儿
– They looked familiar, didn’t they? – Just a bit.
包间里还有空座
There’s spare seats in the snug.
-这不是问题关键 -那关键是什么
– That’s not really the problem. – What is the problem?
我想你该亲自去看看
I think you’d better go and have a look.
我们该开始谈论中东问题了吗
Shall we move on to the Middle East?
笔没水了
Pen’s running out.
总是这样
Always the way.
呆子
Nerds!
我们不是已经达成协议 不用”呆”这个词了吗
Didn’t we all agree to stop using the “n” word?
我可没同意
I didn’t agree…
“呆子”是瞧不起我们的人才用的词
“nerd” is the word they use to keep us down.
你应该用”幻想师”这个词
You should use the term “imagineer”.
我们他妈赶紧走吧
Shall we get the fuck out of here?
-现在该怎么办 雷 -什么
– So, what do we do now, Ray? – What?
-这是你的专长 -这不是我的专长
– This is your thing. – This is not my thing.
我专长是坐那儿看关于这些的书
My thing is sitting on my arse, reading books about this shit,
不是置身其中
Not actually being in it.
有什么规则没 这种事总有规则的 对吧
What about the rules? There’s always rules in these things, isn’t there?
对 但这得看你读谁的书了
Yeah, but it depends who you read.
我都知道些规则
Well, even I know some rules.
-比如? -比如不能踩蝴蝶
– Like what? – Like you can’t tread on any butterflies.
不光蝴蝶 过去任何东西都不能杀
Not just butterflies, you can’t kill anything in the past,
因为这会让它的后代都死光
Because it wipes out all its descendants and
结果整个人类都可能灭绝
You could end up wiping out the whole human race.
不能和任何人上♥床♥
Don’t sleep with anyone.
到头来可能会是你妈妈或奶奶
It ends up being your Mum or gran.
-这真变♥态♥ -这还是今晚啊
– That’s just sick! – It’s still tonight.
我们又没回到二战时期
We haven’t gone back to the blitz.
你们不是想要规则吗 这就是
You asked for rules, I’m giving you rules.
不能杀生 不能乱搞
Don’t kill anything, don’t fuck anything.
-还有呢 -别碰自己(有自♥慰♥之意)
– What else? – Don’t touch yourself.
我现在没心思想这些
My mind is on other things right now.
不 我是说 别碰另一个我们
No. I mean, don’t touch the other us.
我们不能和以前的自己打照面或说话
We can’t bump into or speak to the earlier us.
为什么 我们不能警告他们别进厕所吗
Why? Couldn’t we just warn them not to go into the bog?
不 不行 不然会引起悖论
No, we can’t, because that would cause a paradox.
-什么 -如果他们不进厕所
– A what? – If they don’t go into the bogs,
他们就不会回到过去
They don’t go back in time,
如果这样我们就不复存在了
And if that doesn’t happen then we cease to exist.
这是个祖父悖论的变体
It’s a variant on the grandfather paradox.
我他妈讨厌科幻
Fucking hate sci-fi.
是科学幻想
Science fiction.
那我们再回厕所吗
So, do we go back in the toilets?
不 那说不准会把我们带到哪儿
No! That could take us anywhere.
但上次把他带回原来的地方 不是吗
But last time it took him back to where he started, didn’t it?
对 但还把我带进一个装满死人的屋子
Yeah, but it also took me to a room full of dead bodies.
-他说得对 这说不准 -那还能怎么办 雷
– He’s right, it’s not predictable. – Where does that leave us, Ray?
我想我有主意了
I think I’ve got an idea.
-躲在壁橱里? -正是
– Hiding in a cupboard? – Yeah.
-这样我就死不了了 -很简单
– That’s going to stop me being dead? – It’s simple.
我们等以前的自己
We wait for the earlier us to go
走进厕所 消失在过去
Into the loos and disappear into the past.
-你觉得要多久 -大概再等半小时吧
– How long d’you think that’s gonna be? – About another half an hour.
开玩笑吧 我脖子受不了了
Oh, you’re joking. My neck is killing me already.
好烫啊
Ow, ow. Hot!
该死 我能坐下吗
Bugger. Ow! Can I sit down?
不知道 你坐得下去吗
I don’t know. Can you?
别拽我
No pulling!
我想我找到灯的开关了
Oh, I think I found a light.
-也许应该把灯关上吧 -对
– Maybe leave the light off. – Yeah.
吃花生吗
Anyone want a peanut?
不
No.
我真以为时间旅行会比这刺♥激♥点儿
I really thought time travel would be a bit more thrilling than this.
我明白你的意思
I know what you mean.
不 等一下
Oh! Oh, no, wait a minute.
-天哪 -怎么了
– Oh, my God! – What?
我们在半小时前 她还在这儿
We’re half an hour in the past. She’s still here.