四个婚礼和一个葬礼（1994）

反正我在这方面也玩够了
Anyway, I reckon I’ve had my fair run at it.
这年头 跟几个人玩过才叫玩够呢
What is a fair run these days down your way?
我也不知道
I don’t know,
超过一个吗
more than one?
跟我说说吧
Well, come on, tell me.
反正我见过那些婚纱了 我们之间没有秘密了
I’ve seen the dress, we have no secrets now.
行吧 第一个人
Well, the first one,
当然很难忘 感觉很不错
of course, not easily forgotten, was kinda nice.
第二个 后背多毛
2, hairy back.
三 四 五
3, 4, 5,
第六个是在我生日时在我父母的房♥间里搞的
6 was on my birthday in my parents’ room.
几岁的生日
Which birthday?
十七岁
17th.
我们才数到十七岁吗
we’ve only reached 17?
我在乡下长大的
Well, you know, I grew up in the country,
经常在干草堆里打滚
lots of rolling around in haystacks.
第七个
Okay, 7.
第八个 很不幸 有点吓人
8, unfortunately, was quite a shock.
第九个 是靠着篱笆做的 很不舒服 不要尝试
9, against a fence, very uncomfortable, don’t try it.
我不会的
I won’t.
第十个 很美妙 天堂般的感觉
10, was gorgeous, just heaven,
他很棒
he was wonderful.
我讨厌这个人
I hate him.
第11个 和第十个相比 很令人失望
11, obviously, after 10, disappointing.
第12到第17个 都是在大学时期
12 through 17, the university years,
都是些敏感 体贴 聪明的男孩
Sensitive, caring, intelligent boys.
性生活方面 不怎么样
Sexually speaking, a real low patch.
第18个 伤了我的心 我想了他很多年
18 broke my heart, years of yearning.
我很遗憾
I’m sorry.
第20个 我的天 不敢相信已经数到20了
20, oh my God, I can’t believe I’ve reached 20.
第21个 大象般的舌头
21, elephant tongue.
第22个 不停地打瞌睡 那是我来英国的第一年
22 kept falling asleep, that was my first year in England.
我道歉
I do apologize.
23和24一起 真的很棒
23 and 24 together, that was something.
真的吗
Seriously?
第27个 那是一个错误
27, oof, now that was a mistake.
都到27了 你还突然犯了错吗
Suddenly, at 27, you make a mistake?
是的 他不停地尖叫 很让人讨厌
Well, yes, he kept screaming, it was very off-putting.
我差点就再也不想做♥爱♥了
I nearly gave up on the whole thing,
但是斯宾塞改变了我的想法
but Spencer changed my mind.
那是第28个 他父亲是第29个
That’s 28, his father, 29.
他的父亲
His father?
30 31 天呐
30, 31, oh my God.
第32个 很可爱
32 was lovely.
然后就是我的未婚夫 第33个
And then my fiance, that’s 33.
所以我在你未婚夫之后吗
So I came after your fiance?
不是 你是第32个人
No, you were 32.
差不多就是这些了
So there you go,
希望比麦当娜少 比戴安娜王妃多
less than Madonna, more than Princess Di, I hope.
那你呢 你和多少人睡过
And how ’bout you, how many have you slept with?
天哪 肯定没你这么多
Christ, nothing like that many.
我都不知道我把时间用在什么地方了
I don’t know what the fuck I’ve been doing with my time, actually.
可能在工作上吧 工作 工作
Work probably, yeah, that’s it, work, work.
我经常加班到很晚
I have been working late a lot.
我想给你打电♥话♥的
I wish I’d rung you,
但是你从来没给我打过
but then you never rang me.
你无情地和我睡了两次 但从没给我打过电♥话♥
You ruthlessly slept with me twice and never rang me.
该死
Bollocks!
帮帮我 拜托 拜托
Help me, please, please.
你再也不是我哥哥了 你只是我认识的一个混♥蛋♥
我很抱歉
卡莉 这是大卫 我弟弟
Carrie, this is David, my brother.
这是卡莉
你好
Hi.
我们刚刚在帮她挑婚纱
可悲的借口 她要嫁给谁
某个混♥蛋♥
凭什么混♥蛋♥们总能娶到这么好的妻子
我刚刚在告诉他 你要嫁给哈米什
I was just telling him about you marrying Hamish
他说你嫁给他 是他莫大的荣幸
and he said it couldn’t have happened to a nicer fellow,
所以这很好
so that’s nice.
你不是和她睡过一次吗
婚礼在哪里举♥行♥
Where are you doing it?
苏格兰
Scotland.
是的
她的胸部真美
他说那是一个美丽多山的地方
He says that’s a beautiful place, hilly.
你也应该来参加婚礼
You should come to the wedding, too.
我想要尽可能多的朋友来参加婚礼
I want as many friends as possible to make up
免得到时在场的全是哈米什的狐朋狗友
for the gruesome stiffs that Hamish knows.
你该进去了
Well, you better go in.
再见
Bye.
再见
Bye.
再见
Bye.
走吧 我们迟到了
该死
Fuck it.
等下 抱歉 抱歉
Look, sorry, sorry.
我得问你一个很蠢的问题
I just, well, this is a really stupid question,
特别是在我们刚刚看完婚纱之后
particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion.
但是 我只是想知道有没有可能…
But, I just wondered if by any chance,
我知道没有
I mean obviously not,
因为我就是个只睡过九个人的蠢货
because I’m just some git who’s only slept with nine people.
但是我想知道 我觉得
But I just wondered, I really feel,
简而言之 我换个清晰点的说法
in short, to recap in a slightly clearer version
我得引用一下大卫·卡西迪的话
in the words of David Cassidy, in fact,
这句是他在《帕特里奇一家》里的台词
while he was with The Partridge Family,
我想我爱上你了
I think I love you.
然后…
And…
我只是想知道 有没有可能 你不想…
I just wondered whether by any chance you wouldn’t like to,
不不不 当然不可能
No, no, no, of course not.
我是个白♥痴♥ 而他不是
I’m an idiot, he’s not.
他很优秀 很棒 显而易见
Excellent, excellent, fantastic, obviously.
很高兴见到你
Lovely to see you.
抱歉打扰你 我先回去了 该死
Sorry to disturb, better get on, fuck.
那很浪漫
That was very romantic.
我想了很久
Well, I thought it over a lot.
我想好好说出来
You know, I wanted to get it just right.
我认为把它说出来很重要
Important to have said it, I think.
你具体指的是什么
Said what, exactly?
我指的就是…
Said you know,
我说的那些关于大卫·卡西迪的话
what I just said about David Cassidy.
你真可爱
You’re lovely.
哈米什与卡莉
苏格兰
佩斯郡
格伦斯瑞斯特城♥堡♥教堂
一个月后
婚姻注定是为夫妻间矢志不渝的爱而存在
It was ordained for lifelong faithful relationship of conjugal love.
婚姻注定是为人类社会的福祉而存在
It was ordained for the welfare of human society
只有真诚地对待婚姻关系
which can be strong and happy
社会才能幸福稳固
only when the marriage bond is held in honor.
这对新人如今渴望
Into this holy estate
迈入这神圣的人生阶段
these two persons now desire to enter.
因此如果任何人有任何正当理由
Wherefore if anyone can show any just cause
证明他们二人不应该结为合法夫妇
why they may not lawfully be joined together in marriage,
请现在提出
let him now declare it.
抱歉
Sorry.
请起立
Please rise.
哈米什 你是否愿意接受这位女士 卡洛琳
Do you, Hamish take this woman, Caroline,
成为你的合法妻子
to be your wedded wife?
你是否愿意在主和各位来宾的见证下
And do you, in the presence of God and before this congregation,
承诺一直爱她
promise and covenant to be to her,
做她忠诚的丈夫
a loving and faithful husband,
直到死亡将你们分开
until God shall separate you by death?
我愿意
I do.
卡洛琳 你是否愿意接受这位先生 哈米什
Do you, Caroline take this man, Hamish,
成为你的合法丈夫
to be your wedded husband?
你是否愿意在主和各位来宾的见证下
And do you, in the presence of God and before this congregation,