四个婚礼和一个葬礼（1994）

为什么我总是在参加婚礼 却一直没有结婚 马特
Why am I always at weddings and never actually getting married, Matt?
可能因为你有点邋遢
It’s probably because you’re a bit scruffy.
也可能是因为你还没遇到对的人
Or it could also be ’cause you haven’t met the right girl.
但真的是这样吗
But you see, is that it?
可能我已经遇到了对的人
Maybe I have met the right girls.
可能我一直遇到的都是对的人
Maybe I meet the right girls all the time.
可能原因在我
Maybe it’s me.
胡说
Nonsense.
诸位客人 女士们 先生们 晚餐已经备好
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen, dinner is served.
走吧 说不定能在晚餐时能遇到你的妻子
Come on, odds on you meet your wife at dinner.
是啊
Yes.
我的天
Oh, my God.
查尔斯
Charles?
你好
Hi.
你好 我是阿利斯泰尔
Hello, I’m Alistair.
很好
Great.
我相信你认识维罗妮卡
And I believe you know Veronica.
是的 你好 小维
Yeah, hi, Vee, hi.
你好 妮基
Nicki, hi.
太棒了
Great.
告诉我 你结婚了吗
Tell me, are you married?
没有
No.
你是同性恋吗
Are you a lesbian?
天啊
Good lord!
你为什么这么说
Well, what made you say that?
这是女孩未婚的可能原因之一
Well, it’s one of the possibilities for unmarried girls.
这样说更有趣 总比说
And it is a bit more interesting than saying,
“天哪 你一直没找到合适的小伙子” 要好吧
oh, dear, just never found the right chap, eh .
有道理 何必搞得很没趣呢
Quite right, why be dull?
谢谢
Thank you.
实际上 我已经遇到了对的人
The truth is, the truth is I have met the right person,
可是他不爱我
only he’s not in love with me,
除非我不再爱他 否则其他人都没有机会
and until I stop loving him, no one stands a chance.
不太走运啊
Oh, bad luck.
可不是嘛
Yes, isn’t it?
我在学校时曾当过同性恋
I was a lesbian once at school,
但只持续了十五分钟
but only for about 15 minutes.
我觉得这不算数
I don’t think it counts.
总共有四百种不同的茶
There are 400 different kinds of tea
而且还不包括那些所谓的水果茶
and that’s not including all these so-called fruit teas.
圣诞节时我曾带维罗妮卡去印度参观种植园
I took Veronica out to India at Christmas to look at the plantations.
太棒了
Oh, excellent.
你和她曾经去过那里吧
I believe you and her went there once.
是的
That’s right.
查尔斯可坏了
Charles was vile.
我不舒服时 他总在讲笑话
He insisted on cracking jokes all the time I was ill.
我只是想让你开心 小维
I was just trying to cheer you up, Vee.
你是那个维罗妮卡啊
Oh, you’re that Veronica!
哪个维罗妮卡
Which Veronica?
查理
Charlie?
还记得孟买♥♥吗
Remember Bombay?
查尔斯和我在一起时
When Charles and I were going out,
他跟我说他曾和呕吐维罗妮卡
he told me he’d had this interesting journey
有过一段在印度的有趣旅行
around India with Vomiting Veronica, right?
我想说的应该就是她
I think that was it.
我不记得提过这个 可能我提过
I don’t remember ever mentioning it, maybe I did.
得了吧 查尔斯
Oh, come on, Charles.
我就没交过比你更不顾及别人的男朋友
I don’t think I’ve been out with anyone less discreet.
这可能有点夸张 不是吗
Well, I think that’s probably a bit of an exaggeration, is it not?
不是
It is not.
我记得你唠叨过一个女孩 是叫海伦娜吗
I remember you going on about this girl, Helena was it?
她妈妈曾试图勾搭你
Whose mother made a pass at you.
我记得这个
I remember this!
你不清楚
You couldn’t work it out
拒绝她的勾搭是不是不礼貌
whether it would be impolite not to accept her advances!
没错
That’s right!
那是猪女士 海伦娜是猪小姐
Mrs. Piggy, Helena was Miss Piggy,
所以她妈妈是猪夫人
so her mother was Mrs. Piggy.
我想那可能是
I think perhaps it was a, it was a–
我们母女从那以后都瘦了很多
We’ve both lost a lot of weight since then.
太棒了 要致辞了
Great, the speeches.
诸位客人 女士们 先生们
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen
请安静聆听伴郎致辞
pray silence for the best man.
当伯纳德告诉我 他要和莉迪亚订婚时
When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia,
我祝贺了他
I congratulated him,
因为他其他的女朋友都是卑鄙小人
because all his other girlfriends had been such complete dogs.
不过 看到今晚她们中很多人都来到了这里
Although, may I say how delighted we are
我们仍旧十分高兴
to have so many of them here this evening.
我尤其高兴看到卡米拉
I’m particularly delighted to see Camilla,
你们当中可能很多人记得
who many of you will probably remember
她是第一个被伯纳德求婚的人
as the first person Bernard asked to marry him.
如果我没记错 她让他滚开
If I remember rightly, she told him to sod off.
莉迪亚该庆幸卡米拉拒绝了他
And lucky for Lydia that she did.
太让人失望了
It’s very disappointing.
我们桌上有个非常可爱的女孩叫卡莉
We had the most adorable girl at our table called Carrie.
显然她的未婚夫非常有钱 他拥有半个苏格兰
Apparently her fiance’s awfully grand and he owns half of Scotland.
你还好吗
How are you?
这婚礼对我来说简直是折磨
Well, I’m stuck in the wedding from hell.
到处都是阴魂不散的前女友
Ghosts of girlfriends past at every turn.
如果我再遇到亨丽埃塔
Next thing you know, I’ll bump into Henrietta,
这恐惧就完整了
and the horror will be complete.
你好 查尔斯
Hello, Charles.
你好 小亨 最近如何
Hello, Hen, how are you?
小亨 我…
Oh, Hen, I–
你为什么就不能放过她
Why can’t you leave her alone?
你还没伤够她吗
Haven’t you hurt her enough?
抱歉 我想我最好去个没人的地方躲躲
Excuse me, I think I’d better be where other people are not.
你好
Hello.
我是赛丽娜
你好
我还在学习中
可能会”烦”很多”挫”
没有 很完美 很完美
你想去跳舞吗
当然了
Oh, yes!
那样会很…”耗”
她没有吧
She did not.
她真那么做了
She did too.
出租车
Taxi!
晚安 先生
Good night, sir.
谢谢
Thanks.
谢谢 上来吧
Thank you. Come on now.
等一下 等一下
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
这不好玩 我想看到我可爱的丈夫
This is no fun, I want to see my lovely husband!
谁才是坏新郎
Who’s a very bad bridegroom, indeed?
你有男朋友吗
Have you got a boyfriend?
有
Yes.
他叫什么名字
What’s his name?
多尔夫 他很擅长打乒乓球
Dolph, he’s good at table tennis.
你呢
What about you?
没有
No, afraid not.
为什么没有
Why not?
不知道
I don’t know.
因为大多数我看上的小伙子
Because most of the blokes I fancy
都觉得我愚蠢且迟钝
think I’m stupid and pointless
所以他们和我上♥床♥后就离开了
and so they just bonk me and then leave me.
而喜欢我的男人都很窝囊
And the kind of blokes that do fancy me, I think are drips.
我不想和他们上♥床♥
I can’t be bothered to bonk them
所以我就有点进退两难
which does sort of leave me a bit nowhere.
什么是上♥床♥
What’s bonking?
有点像玩乒乓球
Well, it’s kind of like table tennis
只不过用的”球”稍微小一些
only with slightly smaller balls.
太爽了
So good!
我爱我妻子