最后的肖像（2017）

有希望很好. – 嗯
Well, it’d be nice. – Hm.
我们已经进行了一阵子了
We’ve been doing this for a while now.
对，但对我来说
Yes, but, you know, for me,
我觉得最有希望的时候就是我放弃的时候
whenever I feel the most hopeful, that’s the time that I give up.
这就像我认识的一个人
It’s like this man I knew
他去斯坦帕爬山时掉了下去
who fell when he was climbing in the mountains in Stampa.
他在陡峭的悬崖撑了好久
He was clinging on to this rock face on a very steep cliff for ages,
一直到搜救队来了
right up until the point that the rescue party came.
他们正准备伸手救援
About to reach out, grab his hand.
他却松手了
And he let go.
他掉下去了
He fell.
他死了
He died.
但你没有死掉的危险. – 没有
But you’re in no danger of dying. – No.
但有时候感觉很像
But it feels like it sometimes.
第15、16、17天
我想再更改班机，麻烦了
I’d like to change a reservation, please.
第18天
我还以为你说你要订期限
I thought you said you would make the deadline.
我是啊 – 你知道期限是什么意思吧？
I did. – You know what this means, a deadline?
对, 我知道期限是什么. 但我试过了, 他实在是很…
Yes, I know what a deadline is. But I tried. He’s just… he’s so…
我知道, 你是对的
I know. You’re right.
我打算这么做
Here’s what I wanna do.
你知道他会用大画笔沾灰色颜料
You know when he uses the big brush with the grey paint
把他已经画的都消除吗？
and he undoes everything he’s already done?
嗯嗯
Uh-huh.
这事通常会发生在他去拿黑色尖笔之后
It’s normally after that that he grabs a black brush with a fine tip
他又会从零开始重新构建头部
and he starts to construct the head all over again from nothing
画一百次, 对吗？ – 是的, 基本上没错
for the 100th time, right? – Yeah. Basically, yes.
然后他用赭石进入了亮点
Then he’s onto the highlights with the ochre
与灰色做强调. – 灰色的, 是
and the grey and all. – The grey. Yes.
接着他会用白色来做最后的修饰
And then he finishes with the final touches of white.
嗯嗯 – 然后他就会又拿起大画笔
Uh-huh. – Then he gets that big brush again…
把他已经画好的一切涂掉
and obliterates everything he’s already done.
对
Right.
我要在那时候让他停下来. – 什么意思？
That’s when I’m gonna stop him. – What do you mean?
我是说我要试着阻止他
I mean I’m gonna try to stop him.
好. – 是的
Okay. – Yeah.
你很勇敢
You’re very brave.
我要花一点时间。
I’m gonna take a minute.
去伸伸懒腰. – 你在干嘛？
Stretch my back out. – What are you doing?
就…我只是… – 什么? 好吧
Just… I’m just… – What? Okay.
你去伸展一下就立刻回来做事
Just stretch your back and then we’ll go straight back to work.
嗯. 样子出来了
Hmm. It’s coming along.
真的开始有希望了
It’s just beginning to have real possibilities, huh?
你觉得吗？ – 对
You think? – Yes.
因为你画得很好, 周围的空间也比较像样了
Because the drawing is good and the space around is more solid.
非常像样 – 嗯
Very solid. – Hm.
在这种时候，我们能正式开始了
This is the moment when we could really, really start something.
真的, 真的
True, true.
抱歉，我得走了
Well, I’m sorry I have to leave.
呃, 不, 不. 你要走了？
Oh, no, no. You have to leave?
是的, 我们聊过了, 我得回纽约
Yes, you remember, we talked. I have to go back to New York.
奥, 太可惜了
Oh, well, that’s too bad.
嗯, 太可惜了, 我们都走这么远了
Hm. It’s too bad. We’ve gone far.
我们可以走更远，但我们走很远了
We could have gone further, but we’ve gone far.
嗯. – 这样很了不起了
Mm. – That’s something.
是的
Yeah.
我真的不知道该怎么感谢你
Well, really, I don’t know how to thank you.
我很荣幸能当你的模特儿
It’s been an honor to pose for you.
你疯了吗？
Are you out of your mind?
我可没说我想再做一次
I didn’t say I wanted to do it again.
隔天，我跟贾科梅蒂去散步并道别
The next day, Giacometti and I went for a walk and said our goodbyes.
他说他很想送我到机场
He told me he would have liked to accompany me to the airport,
但他不想这么快就回到车里
but he was hesitant to ever get back into a car any time soon.
这幅画被运到美国参展
The portrait was shipped to an exhibition in the States
而我则回到纽约长住
and I returned to New York for an extended stay.
贾科梅蒂和我经常写信, 但再也没见过对方，
Giacometti and I wrote often but never saw each other again,
因为他不久后就过世了
as he was to die a short time later.
在最后一封信里，贾科梅蒂告诉我画我的肖像让他很开心
In his last letter, Giacometti told me how much he enjoyed painting my portrait
他也希望我很快再过去
and that he hoped I would come back soon
如此我们就能重新再来过
so that we could start all over… again.