怒犯天条（1999）

只要传达的信念没错
as long as they got the message right.
那些信念确实是关键所在
The message is what counts.
可那些把他们的信仰
But folks who build their faith
建立在这种信念上的家伙们一定是些色盲
on that message should be colorblind.
我所有的这些 下等人的抗♥议♥
And all my rabble-rousing
在上面根本不被当回事
is not doing that much above.
所以我要到下界来找些帮手
So I’m gonna need some help down here.
所以我才会帮你们阻止那两名天使进入那间教堂
That’s why I’m gonna help you stop those angels from getting into that church
条件就是你们要帮我
in exchange for you helping me with my campaign.
你怎么会知道那件事的 那两名天使
How do you know about that, the angels?
-你的事我也知道得不少 -难以置信
-Isn’t much I don’t know about you. -I find that hard to believe.
在你五岁的时候 你让隔壁的一个小孩在你手上尿尿
When you were five, you let a kid from next door piss on your hand.
你做过这种鸟事 太龌龊了
You did that shit? You’re nasty.
我没跟任何人说过那件事
I never told anybody about that.
他也没说过
Neither did he.
两年后 那孩子死于白血病
Two years later, that kid died of leukemia.
他的名字是布莱恩·约翰逊
His name was Brian Johnson.
你那些事迹 不管有多无聊
Your exploits, no matter how inane
都会在天堂里留下完整的文档记录
are well documented in Heaven.
大概地狱里也有
Probably Hell too.
你要去哪儿
Where are you going?
兄弟 跟我讲讲关于我的事
Tell me something about me.
你比任何人的手♥淫♥次数都要多
You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
靠 这谁都知道 说些没人知道的
Fuck. Everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
你手♥淫♥的时候 其实想的是男人
When you do it, you’re thinking about guys.
-老大 并不全都是 -很抱歉 如果我吓到你了
-Dude, not all the time. -Sorry if I scared you.
三分之二的我想忘了这件事回家去
Two-thirds of me wants to forget about this and go home.
就在昨天 我还在怀疑上帝是否真的存在
Yesterday, I wasn’t sure God even existed.
现在我却已经陷进天主教的神话里了
Now I’m up to my ass in Christian mythology.
我透露些内部消息给你听吧
Let me let you in on a little inside info.
上帝讨厌把这些事情叫做 神话
God hates it when it’s referred to as mythology.
那么我们来问问先知们 我们应该怎么说吧
Oh, well, then let’s ask the prophets what we should call it instead.
那两个混♥蛋♥跑哪儿去了
Where did those two assholes go?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
向这个蠢蛋证明我并不是同性恋
Proving to this bastard I aingt gay.
-什么 -说来话长 算了
-What? -Long story. Forget it.
我们该走了 要怎么去新泽西啊
We gotta get moving. How can we get to Jersey?
我们坐火车去 我会打电♥话♥过去订位子的
We’ll take the train. I’ll call for reservations.
我觉得她看起来有点眼熟
I thought she looked familiar.
-谁 -赛伦提比蒂
-Who? -Serendipity.
大家早啊
Morning, shoppers.
早上好
Good morning.
-你们看了昨天的深夜节目没 -还没有 先生
-Has anyone seen the overnights? -No, sir.
我们都看到冒泡了
We creamed them.
昨天夜里是重播 这对我来说
Last night was a rerun, which says to me
我好像闻到洋葱的味道
Do I smell onions?
不好意思
Excuse me.
请问你们这是在我的会议室里做什么
May I ask what you’re doing in my boardroom?
你可以开始了
You may proceed, mon ami.
我要先道个歉
I’m gonna have to start by apologizing.
我朋友就爱搞这种戏剧性的把戏
My friend has a bit of a penchant for the dramatic.
喂
Oh, come on!
别急 我正在做
Relax. I’m doing it.
穆比 金牛大王
Mooby, the Golden Calf.
由一名前幼稚园老师南希·高得夫创建于1989年
Created by Nancy Gold ruff, a former kindergarten teacher in 1 989.
1991年被康柏克斯集团收♥购♥
Bought by the Complex Corporation in 1 991.
以 穆比快乐时光 之名在全国进行宣传
Broadcast nationally as the Mooby Fun-Time Hour.
自从成立以来 已经出产了两部戏剧电影
Since its inception, has spawned two theatrical films
创下了十六项纪录 拿下八项黄金时段特别奖
1 6 records, 8 prime-time specials
进入录像带展览大厅
and a library of priced-to-own videocassettes.
更不用提在东西两岸开办的主题公园
Not to mention bicoastal theme parks
穆比世界
dubbed Mooby World.
我有遗漏什么内容吗
Did I miss anything?
你忘了说 穆比杂♥志♥
You forgot Mooby Magazine.
该死
Damn it!
讲这些有什么意义吗
Is there a point to this?
你和你的董事局都是偶像崇拜者
You and your board are idolaters.
我真不敢相信你居然忘了那本杂♥志♥
I can’t believe you forgot the magazine.
这个就是你
That’s you.
你对巫术的了解有多少
Do you know much about voodoo?
那是一种很奇妙的行为
That’s a fascinating practice.
并没有什么具体的信念主义可讲
No real doctrine of faith to speak of.
更多的是一种迷信的布局
More an arrangement of superstitions
其中最广为人知的
the most well-known of which
就是这种诅咒人偶
is the voodoo doll.
你看
You see
这样一个小人模型受制于
a mockup of an individual is subjected
各种推拨戳刺
to various pokes and prods.
预期的效果就是相对应的那个人也会对此有所感觉
The desired result is that the individual will feel those effects.
叫保安来 马上
Call security, now!
所有的线路现在都不通
All lines are currently down.
-我要向你们道歉 -你能不能住嘴
-I’m gonna have to apologize, -Would you knock it off?
你又在这么干了 停停吧 我们都在说些什么啊
You’re doing it again. Stop. What did we talk about?
你们所树立的形象
You are responsible for raising an icon
夺去了人们对主的崇拜
which draws worship from the Lord.
你们违背了十诫的第一条
You have broken the First Commandment.
不仅如此 恐怕你们当中没有一个
More than that, I’m afraid not a one of you
能算得上是一个正派的人类
passes for a decent human being.
你们的继续生存是一种对良好德行的嘲讽
Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.
像是你 波顿先生
Like you, Mr. Burton.
去年 你欺骗了与你结婚十七年的妻子八次
Last year, you cheated on your wife of 1 7 years 8 times.
你甚至还跟她最好的朋友上了床
You even had sex with her best friend
而那时你本来是应该在家看孩子的
While you were supposed to be home watching the kids.
就在你跟你妻子的那张床上 不错啊
In the bed that you and your wife share, no less.
纽曼先生
Mr. Newman.
你想法使你的女朋友在去年的圣诞晚会上喝醉
You got your girlfriend drunk at last year’s Christmas party
然后出钱叫来了一个收发室的小子
and then paid a kid from the mail room
在她不省人事的时候跟她做♥爱♥
to have sex with her while she was passed out
这样在她早上哭著承认了一切后
just so you could break up with her guilt-free
你就能以她不守妇道为由跟她分手
when she sobbingly confessed in the morning.
她在三个月后自杀了
She killed herself three months later.
布瑞斯先生否认他有个同性恋的儿子
Mr. Brace disowned his gay son.
真是令人同情
Very compassionate.
雷先生把他母亲安置在一间三流的疗养院里
Mr. Ray put his mother in a third-rate nursing home
并用卖♥♥掉她房♥子赚来的钱
and used the prof its from the sale of her home
给自己买♥♥了条东方地毯
to buy an Oriental rug for himself.
老天
Heavens.
巴克先生拿公♥司♥的钱飞去了泰国
Mr. Barker flew to Thailand on the company account
为的是去跟一个十一岁的男孩做♥爱♥
to have sex with an eleven-year-old boy.
菏泽曼先生批准了用一种他明知是有毒和不安全的材料
Mr. Holtz man okayed the production of Mooby Dolls
来制♥作♥穆比娃娃 因为那种材料 据调查所说
because it was, survey says,
成本更低
Iess costly.
另一方面 你
You, on the other hand
是无辜的
are an innocent.
你的人生过得不错
You lead a good life.
真替你高兴
Good for you.
而你 韦兰先生
But you, Mr. Whitland
比起这个聚会
you have more skeletons in your closet
你有更多隐私
than this assembled party.
我甚至不敢大声提起他们
I cannot even mention them aloud.
你是他的父亲啊 你这个变♥态♥佬
You’re his father, you sick fuck!
-很好 -不错 兄弟
-Good. -Not bad, man.
干得漂亮 很棒
That’s great work. Very good.
终于只剩我一个了
alone at last.
这里除了普莱丝小姐外
With the exception of Miss Pryce here
你们当中没一个是正派人
there isn’t a decent human being amongst you.
一个都没有
Not one.
你们知道人们靠什么才能称得上正派吗
Do you know what makes a human being decent?
恐惧
Fear.
问题就在这里
And there in lies the problem.