小屁孩日记2：罗德里克法则

其实 我觉得你可以装一把
In fact, maybe you should put one on.
所以这就是你的说法
So that’s your story?
这扇门从来没有锁 你也不知道我在说什么
There was never a lock and you have no idea what I’m talking about?
是的
Yes.
好 我去找你弟弟 问问他同样的问题
Fine. I will just go ask your brother the same thing.
格雷格 两个词
Greg, two words,
浴室 门
Bathroom! Door!
是罗德里克干的 他逼我的
It was Rodrick. He made me!
是他的主意 他开了一个派对
It was his idea. He had the party.
有人在门上写字 所以我们不得不换了一扇
Someone wrote on the door, so we had to change it.
我就知道 我就知道
I knew it. I knew it.
不 老妈 等下 我有点夸大了
No, Mom, wait! I was exaggerating a little bit.
其实不是一个派对 只是一次乐队排练
It wasn’t a party. It was a band rehearsal,
为了最佳达人秀 只是这样
for the talent show. That’s all it was.
我们说过不让任何人来 他知道规矩的
We said nobody could come over. He knew the rules.
但是老妈 如果你惩罚了罗德里克…
Yeah, but, Mom, if you punish him…
他就会知道我告密了
Rodrick’s gonna know I told on him.
这个周末我们真的过得很愉快啊 如果你惩罚他…
We really had a good time this weekend, but if you do this…
罗德里克和我就永远不会成为朋友了
Rodrick and I will never, ever be friends again.
以后我的孩子可能永远不会了解罗德里克叔叔了
The idea that one day my kids won’t get to know their Uncle Rodrick?
或者可能也没任何家庭度假了
Or have any family holidays.
你们这周末真的处得很愉快吗
You two really have been getting along better this week, haven’t you?
是的 真的
Yeah, we really have.
好吧 如果… 如果我不揭穿这个谎话
Okay, if… If I let this slide,
让它成为我们之间的小秘密
and be our little secret,
为整个家
for the sake of the family,
为了你哥俩的关系
and for your relationship with your brother,
你能发誓
do you swear,
以后安分守己 和你哥哥和睦相处吗
to be on your best behavior and get along?
我发誓 我发誓
I swear. I swear.
那好吧
Okay.
好吧
Okay.
你没有摊牌吧
You didn’t buckle?
否认 否认 否认 没错吧
Deny. Deny. Deny. Right?
你知道吗…
You know…
也许你根本没我想象的那么笨呢
You may not be half as lame as I thought you were.
真不敢相信 罗德里克在试着友善地对我
I couldn’t believe it. Rodrick was actually trying to be nice to me.
你是妈妈钱币百万富翁啊 你从哪里弄到这个的
You’re a Mom Bucks millionaire. Where did you get these?
旧货店买♥♥的 我这些存货都够花到三十岁了
Thrift shops. There is enough in here to last me until I’m 30.
好了 是时候了 老弟
It is about time, little bro,
教你一些快乐生活的秘诀
that you learn the secrets to an easy life.
规则一 你不想做的事就装着不擅长
Rule number one, don’t be good at something you don’t want to do.
孩子们 用干净的抹布啊 不要…
Guys, use clean rags, not…
给我吧 我自己来
Just give me that, I’ll do it myself.
规则二 总要先降低老爸老妈的期望
Rule number two, always lower Mom and Dad’s expectations.
今天有个数学考试 我觉得我砸锅了
I took a math test today, and I’m pretty sure I flunked it.
噢 格雷格
Oh, Greg!
但是我拿到卷子了 看 我得了个C减
But I got it back. And look, I got a C minus.
好吧 至少你及格了
Well, at least you didn’t fail.
规则三 别人能帮你做的就不要自己动手
Rule number three, never do something when someone else can do it for you.
《一百年前》 我记得这篇作文
“Hundred years ago”, I remember that assignment.
你哥哥已经有这样一篇优秀的作文了
Why write a new one
你为什么还去写一篇新的呢
when there is a perfectly good paper already written by your brother?
这不是作弊吗
Isn’t that cheating?
德雷布里老师每年出一样的作文题目
Isn’t Mr. Draybick cheating
难道就不是作弊吗
by hanging out the same assignment every year?
装订一新了 老师们就喜欢看点门面功夫
New binder. Teachers dig binders.
事情是这样的 过去五年里
The thing was, Rodrick had managed to get
罗德里克总能让老爸为他做所有的家庭作业
my Dad to do all of his homework for the past five years.
-哪里应该空开来着 -噢 干脆我来 好吗
-Which one is the space bar again? -Oh, just let me do it. Okay? Okay?
事实上 如果是罗德里克写的作文
I would never actually
我可不敢交给老师
hand in a paper Rodrick wrote.
但是是老爸写的 那就另当别论了
But my Dad? That is a different story.
这就是罗德里克教我的三件事
So that’s just three of the things Rodrick has taught me.
他有很多很酷的点子
He has a lot of cool tips.
我可不敢确定他的点子到底酷不酷
I’m not sure Rodrick’s tips are really that cool.
把齐拉格当成透明人的玩笑还没有结束
So the invisible Chirag joke is still going.
全校都在参与
And the whole school is in on it,
但是看起来 齐拉格发现我们的弱点了
but it looks like Chirag’s discovered our weakness.
嗨 格雷格 罗利
Hello, Greg, Rowley.
我猜 你们还在假装看不见我
Still pretending I’m invisible, I presume?
我不确定还能不能装下去
I don’t know if I can do this.
坚持住
Stay strong.
这是什么 玉米热狗
What is this? A corn dog.
罗利一贯最爱的午餐
Rowley’s all time favorite lunch delicacy.
如果你说你能看见我 罗利 那么这就是你的了
If you say you can see me, Rowley, it is all yours.
闻闻这香味
Mmm. Smell the buttermilk batter.
你要赢了 齐拉格
You got him, Chirag.
坚持住
Resist it.
别被诱惑了 罗利
Don’t do it, Rowley.
嘿 各位 看 有一根玉米热狗漂在空中
Hey, everyone. Look, there is a floating corn dog.
我并没有想让别人觉得我很牛逼
I don’t want to get ahead of myself for anything,
但是 我想因为这事 我多少出点风头了
but I think I may have class clown in the bag for dreaming this one up.
总而言之 没有上个世纪的科技进步…
In conclusion, without last century’s technological advances…
就不会有电脑 手♥机♥ 或现代医学奇迹
There would be no computers, cell phones or modern medical miracles.
为此 我们向一百年前的祖先…
And so for that, we salute and thank our ancestors…
感谢致敬
from one hundred years ago.
谢谢 霍莉 这是篇优秀的作文
Thank you, Holly, that was excellent work.
接下来 我想我们还有时间
Now, I think we have time,
再来欣赏一篇 我不得不说…
for one more and I have to say that…
当我读这篇作文时 被内容深深震撼了
When I read this paper, I was big surprised by its content.
比起其他的作文 这篇非凡的作文值得被大声朗读
But more than any other, this one deserves to be read out loud.
格雷格
Greg.
耶 格雷格
Yeah, Greg.
读出来 格雷格 全部
Just read it, Greg. All of it.
有时候我坐着 好奇着 我不知道的那些事
Sometimes I sit and wonder about stuff I do not know.
比如 一百年前的世界是怎么样的
Like what the earth was like a hundred years ago.
野人是不是骑在恐龙上
Did cavemen ride on dinosaurs?
是否有花儿生长 是否由蜘蛛统治地球
Did flowers even grow? Did spiders rule the earth?
沙漠是不是会下雪
Were deserts falling with sonw?
那时人类又没有书 现在我们怎么知道
There was no books for humans, so how are we to know
一百年前的生活是怎么样的呢
what life was like a hundred years ago?
屌♥丝一枚
Loser.
格雷格 虽然我们说循环利用很重要…
Greg, when we talk about how important it is to recycle…
但也不是指把你哥哥的旧作文交上来
we don’t mean turning in your brother’s old papers.
不及格 又一次
我还以为是老爸帮你写的呢
I thought Dad helped you with this paper?
不 其实 老爸开始帮我写作业
Well, actually, Dad started writng my paper
就是因为那作文太烂了
because of that paper.
我当时看起来就像个白♥痴♥
I looked like an idiot.
上次那个在溜冰场的女孩 她笑话我了
And that girl from the roller rink, she laughted at me.
噢 要做些什么 改变她对你的看法
Ouch. Just do something that changes her opinion of you.
比如说在教室外面放个鞭炮什么的
Like set a firecracker off the classroom. Boom!
女生都喜欢坏男孩
Chicks dig bad boys.
其实我想传个纸条给她
Actually I was thinking about writing her a note.
你指在上面写字的那种纸条
You mean like one with words on it?
我已经想好了
I have got it all figured out.
我会传给她一张纸条 上面有个问题
I’m gonna pass her a note with a question on it.
但是纸条是匿名的
But it will be anonymous.
她就会想知道这是谁写的
She’ll be like, “I have to know who wrote this.”
然后我走过去
Then later, I will walk up to her,
问她一模一样的问题
and ask her the exact same question.
她肯定会动容的
It will blow her mind.
小纸条 想让我检查有没有拼写错误吗
A note? Do you want me to spell check it?
不是 传给霍莉
No, just pass it to Holly.
传给霍莉
To Holly.
你是怎么使你的秀发闻上去如此芬芳
谢谢啦
Thank you.
格雷格传给你的
It’s from Greg.
-怎么了 -格雷格·哈佛雷伊…
-What’s going on? -Greg Heffley…