小屁孩日记2：罗德里克法则

好了 轮到我们了
Okay, we’re up.
来吧 轮到我们了
Come on, we’re up!
-每个人都会看到这件衣服的 -大家在看我们
-But everyone will see the sweater. -People are looking.
是吧 所以 快点 我们得上去
Okay? So, come on. Let’s go.
走吧
Come on.
大便
Poop!
他把大便拉在裤子上了
He’s pooped his pants!
不 并不是像大家看到的那样
No, it isn’t what it looks like.
这不是大便 这是巧克力
It isn’t. It’s chocolate.
巧克力 看
Chocolate. See?
我是怎么说的 让你们友好相处啊
What did I say about being civil to one another?
那是我对你们的唯一要求
That’s all I asked of you.
你们破坏了那么重要的时刻
Well. You have blown it big time!
再没有比这更丢脸的了
Never been more embarrassed.
我们认识的人都在那里
Everyone we know was there.
我不知道这周的专栏应该写些什么了
I have no idea how I’m gonna write my column this week.
我的思路都被堵塞了
I feel like a complete fraud!
这是你们自找的
Well, you brought this on yourselves.
你们别想玩摇滚激流了
You can kiss Rockin’ Rapids goodbye!
你们俩周末就待在家里 给我把问题解决了
You two will stay here all weekend and work out your differences.
如果你们不解决 我来解决
And if you don’t, I will.
相信我 你们不会希望让我来解决的
And trust me, you don’t want any part of that.
明白了吗
Do you understand?
是 是 是
Yes. Yes. Yes.
我们走
All right, let’s go.
这个周末不要让任何人来家里
And don’t have anybody over this weekend.
听到没
Got it?
来我家开派对吧 罗德里克
零食放在碗里 冰块在冰箱里
Snacks in the bowls, ice in the freezer,
杯子在桌子上 你的派对最好开得棒点
cups on the table. Your party better be good.
是我们的派对 老弟
Our party, little bro.
等等 对了 对了
Wait. Whoa, whoa!
我们要从地下室拿些椅子
We need chairs from the basement.
-干什么啊 -万一我们想玩抢凳子游戏呢
-For what? -In case we wanna play musical chairs.
从二年级开始 我就不玩抢凳子游戏了
I haven’t played musical chairs since the second grade.
好吧 当你上了高中 大家又会玩这个了
Well. It comes back when you hit high school.
等等 你去拿椅子
Wait, you get the chairs.
别让大家失望 好吧
I don’t want anyone to be disappointed, all right?
好的
Okay. All right.
罗德里克 帮帮我 门关上了
Rodrick. Help, the door is closed!
是啊 而且还会一直关着
Yeah, and it’s staying closed.
我可不要初中生破坏我派对
I don’t need a middle schooler ruining my party.
什么 我以为这是我们的派对
What? I thought it was our party!
是我的派对 现在给我安静点
It’s my party. Now keep quiet,
否则我把你关在烘干机里
Or I’ll lock you in the dryer!
罗德里克
Rodrick!
格雷格
Greg!
这就是魔术
And that’s magic.
这是杰弗森家 我是罗利
Jefferson residence. Rowley speaking.
罗利 我需要你的帮助 马上
Rowley, I need your help. Now!
噢 我的意大利腊肠啊
Holy Pepperoni!
进来 把门打开 让我出去
Get inside, open the door and let me out!
太棒了 你做到了
Yes, You did it.
很棒的尝试 小兄弟 但是你能想到的…
It’s a really nice try, Buddy. But whatever you thought…
我早就想到了
I already thinked it.
当我们把乐队做大的时候
When our band is huge.
我们每天晚上都开派对了
We will have parties every night.
但是是我们的秘密派对
But they’ll be backstage parties!
太棒了 那时我们要上台表演了
Sweet! We’ll get to go backstage.
来电
你 别碰电♥话♥ 音乐停止 大家别动
You! Don’t touch that phone. Music off. Everyone freeze!
安静
Freeze.
任何人发出一丁点声响 派对就结束了
If anyone makes a sound, the party is over.
我就死定了 所以… 嘘
And I’m a dead man. So… Shh!
靠 安静 老兄
Damn! Quiet. Man.
退后
Get back!
-哈喽 -罗德里克 是妈妈
-Hello? -Rodrick, it’s Mom.
一切还好吗 你这么久才接电♥话♥
Is everything okay? It took a long time for you to answer.
当然 什么事都没有 刚才我在洗碗
Yeah, everything is fine. I was just washing dishes.
好的 宝贝 我只是问下 说声我爱你们…
Okay, honey, well, I just wanted to check in and to say I love you…
-很抱歉之前对你们这么严厉 -没关系 再见
-And I’m sorry I was so harsh earlier. -No problem. Bye.
现在让我和格雷格说声晚安
Now let me say goodnight to Greg.
格雷格 噢 不行… 他睡着了
Greg? Oh, uh… He can’t. He is asleep.
我不想吵醒他
I don’t want to wake him.
不 我没睡 我就在这里 嗨 老妈
No, I’m not. I’m right here. Hi, Mom.
嘿 罗德里克
Hey, Rodrick.
嗨 宝贝 一切还好吗
Hi, sweetie, is everything okay?
为什么你这么早就睡觉了
Why were you sleeping so early?
噢 其实 我没有在睡觉
Well, actually, I wasn’t sleeping.
我在地下室
I’m down in the basement.
地下室… 你在那做什么啊
The basemen? What the heck are you doing down there?
为什么不愿意和我待一起
Would not you rather be up here hanging with me?
不 我想和你待在一起 罗德里克
Yeah, I would, Rodrick.
你为什么不下来找我呢
Why don’t you come down and get me?
马上
Now!
我觉得他们处得不错
I think they are trying to get along.
嗯 太好了 好的 亲爱的
Huh? That’s good. Good, honey.
好了 咱处得不错 对吧 格雷格
Okay. Everything is cool here, right, Greg?
嗯 老妈 有需要的话 我会打电♥话♥给你的
Yeah, Mom, and I have your number if I need you.
好的 宝贝 明天见 晚安
Okay, sweeties, well, we’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.
听好了…
Listen up…
如果你做了任何让我丢脸的事…
If you do anything that embarrasses me…
任何事 一丁点 我就…
Anything! At all, I will…
你就怎么样
You will what?
离远点别碍我事
Just stay out of my way.
傻♥逼♥
Nerds.
我觉得我们应该到楼上去
I think we should go upstairs.
你这是坑爹吗
Are you kidding me?
咱要想去另一个
We might not get to go to another
高中生派对还要等五年呢
high school party for five more years.
今天我们还有机会看到那些
We have an opportunity here, to see things
同年级的孩子从来没看到过的东西
no other kid in our grade has ever seen before.
-比如 -青少年的东西
-Like what? -Teenage things.
跟着我就好了 没问题的
Just follow my lead, and we’ll be fine.
嘿 你拿爆米花的那只手小心点 这么做可不好哦
Hey, watch the elbows, popcorn dude. Not cool.
真是有惊无险啊
That was a close one.
我都不知道能上到那里啊
I didn’t know you could get up there.
你应该听听我的乐队
You should hear my band.
我们演奏可大声了 听的人的耳朵都要流血了
We play so loud, we actually make people’s eardrums bleed.
我只是打比方
I mean, not really.
我觉得你哥哥喜欢她
I think your brother likes her!
我得走了 去找我朋友
I have to go find my friend.
耶 耶 我知道
Yeah, yeah, I know,
我警告你 如果打电♥话♥你就死定了
Reminder! You can’t call if you’re dead.
老兄 你的派对要变耸了
Dude, this party is dying.
看 女生们都觉得无聊了 她们想跳舞呢
Look, the girls aren’t into it. Look, they want to dance.
如果你再不邀请她们跳舞 她们就会走了
You don’t ask them to dance, they’re gonna leave,
你就成了个开派对没女孩参加的二货了
then you’re just gonna be that guy who threw the lame party with no girls.
去叫那些女生跳舞
Go ask the girls to dance.
你去啊
You ask them.
不 老兄 你去 去叫她们跳舞
No, man, you go ask the girls to dance.
你差不多干过这事了
You almost did it.
-我才不去呢 -我看到过你跳舞
-I’m not going to do it! -I’ve seen you dance!
我才不要啊…
I’m not doing it…
有人说要跳舞了吗
Did somebody say “dance”?
-放开跳吧 -罗利 不 别这样
-Break it down! -Rowley, no! Don’t!
他死定了
That kid’s dead.
不 等下 老兄 你新来的吗
No, wait, man. What are you, new?
你不能去欺负一个小屁孩 那些女生会被吓跑的
You can’t mess with a chubby kid, the girls’ll freak out!
杀了我吧 我不会打电♥话♥给老妈…
I won’t call Mom, you can kill me…