再现康宁汉（2019）

I continued to work out the dance every day after teaching,
随着时间的流逝，我们所有人都变得越来越疲倦。
with all of us growing wearier as the weeks went on.
我们在周日的日场上，穿着现场服装
And we presented it on a Sunday matinee, in the spot costumes
在罗伯特·劳森伯格的点画派背景下，
and against the pointillist backdrop by Robert Rauschenberg,
伴着莫顿·费尔德曼的图表音乐表演了这出舞蹈。
and with the graph music by Morton Feldman.
观众对我们的表演感到迷惑
The audience was puzzled.
我们不想只是留在纽约表演
When we started, we didn’t want to simply stay in New York
在一个小剧院里出一个节目，
and give one program maybe in a small theater,
然后希望用今年剩下的时间付把戏演完之类的
and then hope for the rest of the year to pay it off, and so on.
于是我们开始驱车去其他地方演出
So we began to drive.
康宁汉舞团过去常常用一辆大众微型客车
The Cunningham Company used to make transcontinental tours
去完成洲际巡回演出
in a Volkswagen Microbus.
有一次，当我们开车到俄亥俄州的一个加油站时，
Once, when we drove up to a gas station in Ohio,
舞者和往常一样涌下车
and the dancers, as usual, all piled out
去上厕所或者在水泵周围锻炼。
to go to the toilets and exercise around the pumps.
车站服务员问我
The station attendant asked me
我们是不是一群喜剧演员。
whether we were a group of comedians.
我说：“不，我们来自纽约。”
I said, “No. We’re from New York.”
真正的合作
The real collaboration
都发生在这辆大众巴士里
was all getting into that Volkswagen bus.
当我们玩拼字游戏时，我不得不坐在司机旁边。
I had to sit next to the driver when we played Scrabble.
直到凯珞琳·布朗的丈夫说
Until Carolyn Brown’s husband said that she would have
她必须得离开舞团，除非我们不再在找蘑菇的路上
to leave the company if we didn’t stop playing Scrabble
玩拼字游戏的话，
while we drove looking for mushrooms.
这也很有趣。
It was fun too.
但是也很吓人。
It was horrible too.
但这是我们能做的，所以我们就去做了
But that’s what we could do, so we did it.
约翰…
John…
它被动物吃掉了。
It’s been eaten up by animals.
罗赖马州丝孢砖红韧黑伞，他们正还给它取名。
Hypholomaornaematoloma, and they are changing the name.
其中的九个人总是匆匆忙忙从一个地方
There are nine of you chugging along from one place
到另一个地方，呃，他们搞了个小部落。
to another, and, uh, they were very tribal.
约翰那时候一直非常慷慨。
And John was incredibly generous all the time.
他组织了这些可爱的野餐和…
He organized these lovely picnics and…
那个时候，我们的食宿是免费的，
In those days, we had our food and lodgings paid for
一场演出可以有25美元的收入，就是这样。
and got 25 dollars a performance, and that was it.
他们说音乐太糟糕了
On top of which they said the music was impossible.
还有一位女士写信说她
And there was a lady who wrote to say that she had come
从纽约大老远赶来，为了来这儿，
to New York from a distance, and that in order to do that
她还不得不雇了一个保姆。
she had had to employ a babysitter.
他们把这个事情登了报。
And they printed this in the paper.
是一个评论家登的。
The critic printed it.
当她到的时候，
And that when she got there,
她看到的和听到的东西
what she saw and what she heard
都太糟糕了，你看，
was so bad, you see,
她，可以这么说，
that she had, so to speak,
被骗了这么多钱……
been cheated out of all this money…
车票，火车票，还有请保姆的钱。
The ticket, the train ticket, and the babysitter.
然后评论家补充说，
And then the critic added that we had no right
我们舞团没有权力以这种残酷的方式对待人们
to treat people in this cruel fashion.
早年你和凯奇第一次一起巡演的时候
When you and Cage were first touring together
你对你所做的事情是否有足够的信心
during those early years, did you have enough belief
让你可以不因为那些负面的反应而感到气馁？
in what you were doing to not be discouraged by the negative reactions?
我只在意一件事
The only thing for me is that
我真的非常喜欢跳舞。
I really am deeply fond of dancing.
所以无论多么绝望，
So no matter how dire the situation was,
总有一天，我醒过来
how desperate, I would wake up one day
然后开始工作，然后在某个瞬间意识到
and start to work and suddenly realize
跳舞总是，和以前一样，一直那么有趣，
that it was just as interesting as it always had been,
无论什么情况之下都是这样
regardless of the circumstances.
当我们巡演时，我们也，
But we also, as we toured,
开始交朋友……尽管不多。
we began to have friends… Not many.
但是每个地方都会有一些人
But every place there would be a few people
对我们所做的事情非常感兴趣。
who would be very interested in what we had done.
真正让舞者感到满足的是表演，
What’s gratifying to a dancer, really,
这比其他任何事情都重要。
is performing, more than…More than anything else.
当然排练也会带来
Rehearsal has a certain class, has a certain kind
一定的满足感，但是
of gratification, but not, you know,
完全不如表演带来的满足感多，而且我们练的很少。
not as much as performing, and we do it so little.
然后当它结束时，你还剩下什么？
And then when it’s over, what is there?
你懂的，你回到你的单人公♥寓♥，
You know, you go back to your solitary flat,
回到你那糟糕的工作，
and your horrible job,
你什么都没有。
and there’s nothing.
我从没想过这就是它的意义所在。
I never thought that’s what it’s about.
我认为真正的事情是你继续，
I think the real thing is the fact that you continue,
你继续做下去，
that you keep on doing things,
因为这不是钱，
because it isn’t about the money,
或者没钱的问题，或者……
or not having money, or…
任何类似的东西，它是关于创造
anything like that, it’s about making something.
你如何让一个动作充满活力，要不要在其中加入技术性？
How do you make a movement alive, technique or not?
你如何在经过长时间地学习、练习和重复后
How do you keep in the dancing, however long studied,
在舞蹈中保持一种
practiced, and repeated,that spontaneous act
就像猫的姿态那样的自发的动作？
the stance of a cat can give you?
对我来说，这是一个信仰
It is for me a question of faith
和一个持续信仰的问题
and a continuous belief
在惊喜的瞬间。
in the surprise of the instant.
忘却疲劳、疼痛、
Put aside fatigue, aches,
和对身体与心理的伤害。
injuries to the body and the psyche.
让单个或多个动作的姿态和时间来衡量这个动作。
Let the shape and the time of a single or multiple action take its weight and measure.
这将是富有表现力的。
It will be expressive.
我能回忆起的第一次“危机”
My first recollection of “Crises”
是康宁汉为自己制♥作♥了
was Merce was making for himself
所有这些美妙的独奏
all these wonderful solos.
我的意思是，这些曲子很疯狂，
I mean, they were mad
而且有很多戏剧性的东西，
and lots of dramatic stuff in them,
而我们从来没有这样做过。
and we never got to do that.
维奥拉和我说，“在下一部作品中，
And Viola and I said, “In the next piece
我们想成为女巫。”然后他就是这么做的！
we want to be witches.” And that’s what he made.
人们相信康宁汉的话。
People take Merce at his word.
他们相信康宁汉说的，他在台上编排的只是舞步，
They absolutely believe him that it’s only steps
但事实并非如此
that he’s putting on the stage, but it isn’t true.
这不是一出两个人的舞蹈。
It’s not a dance of two people.
我的意思是，虽然女舞者也需要做些事情，
I mean, the women do certain things,
但所有的，呃，真正的行动
but all of the, uh, real action
都是由康宁汉发起的
is initiated by him.
我被抱起来，
I’m picked up and carried,
很少有面对面的动作。
and it’s also very little face to face.
我认为，在几乎所有双人舞中，
That’s very much true, I think,
都是这样的
in almost all of the duet things.
如果我去找他，对他说
If I were to go to him and say, “Merce”,
莫斯，这是什么？格斯和我做的这个奇怪的下落动作
what does this… This exotic fall that Gus and I do mean?
应该是什么意思？
“What’s it supposed to mean?” You know?
他会哼一声，转过身去。
He’d snort and turn his back.
把它从动作中拿掉
He’d take it away from us.
他会说，不要这样做。
He’d say, don’t do it.
你准备往哪一边？
Which side are you going to go to?
好吧，等等，坚持，坚持
All right, hold on,hold on. Hold on.
下来，就是这样， 就这样。
Just down,that’s it. That’s all.
可以吗？
Is that all right?
现在转身，格斯， 没错，就是这样，
Now turn, Gus. That’s right, so that way, Gus.
不错
That’s fine.
现在，桑德拉，放手， 把你的手拿开。
Now, Sandra, let go. Take your arms away.
没错， 现在，等等…
That’s right. Now, excuse me…
现在弯下来。
Now curve your trunk.
把这条胳膊给我， 直接给我。
Give me this arm. Bring it right up.
这就对了
That’s it.
不幸的是，
Unfortunately, it doesn’t come
从来没有任何清晰的理由
ever with anyclear understanding
为什么一个舞者会或者不会出现在舞蹈中……
as to why you are or are not being included, except that…
默斯就像一个画家，
Merce is like a painter,
而我们就像不同的颜色。