扯蛋莎翁史（2016）

<罗密欧与朱丽叶>讲述了一个关于
‘Romeo and Juliet is about
两个有钱有权的家庭 互为世仇
‘these two rich, powerful families who hate each other.
这两个家庭分别是是
‘These two families are
蒙太古家族 这家名字听起来就很高贵
the Montagues – who sound quite posh –
和凯普莱特家族 这一家发明了头痛片
‘and the Capulets, who invented the headache tablet.
他们十分乐于互相仇视
‘They’re perfectly happy having their feud
直到最感人的瞬间发生
until the touching moment
罗密欧爱上了来自世仇家族的朱丽叶
‘Romeo, from one side, spots Juliet, from the other.
两人相隔甚远 却是一见钟情
‘It’s love at first sight, but from a distance -‘
就像用Tinder似的
just like on Tinder.
这两片嘴唇 如含羞的信徒
My lips, two blushing pilgrims,
愿用一吻乞求你宥恕
ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
很快罗密欧和朱丽叶陷入爱河
‘Soon Romeo and Juliet are in love,
尽管他们来自不同的家族
‘even though they come from two different families,’
因此我们确信这个故事并非发生在诺福克
which is how we know it isn’t set in Norfolk.
哦 罗密欧 罗密欧
O Romeo, Romeo!
为什么你偏偏是罗密欧呢
Wherefore art thou Romeo?
为了更深入的了解<罗密欧与朱丽叶>
‘To find out more about Romeo and Juliet,
我打算和莎学家Stanley Wells聊一聊
‘I went to talk to Shakespearean expert Stanley Wells.’
你觉得是什么让<罗密欧和朱丽叶>
Why do you think Romeo and Juliet is
成为历史上最成功的的爱情剧目
the most successful romcom of all time?
首先 这段感情十分美好
Well, it’s very beautiful, isn’t it?
罗密欧与朱丽叶之间的爱情故事
The love story between Romeo and Juliet.
其中还包含了许多动人的诗歌♥
It has some very beautiful poetry in it.
人们喜欢大团圆结局 不是么
People like a happy ending, don’t they?
哦 人们喜欢的是大团圆
Oh, they like a happy ending, yeah,
但是他们不会在这儿找到大团圆
but they don’t get it, of course, here.
你是什么意思
What do you mean?
呃 这个结局是
Oh, you know, the ending
他们都死了
they die.
这两个相恋的爱人 罗密欧和朱丽叶
You know, the lovers – Romeo and Juliet, I mean…
结局他们都死了 – 是啊
They die at the end? -Oh, yes.
朱丽叶服毒自尽 然后罗密欧出现了 他也死了
Juliet poisons herself, then Romeo comes in and he dies, too.
所以 我们是不是该做个剧透提醒
So, we should put a spoiler there, should we?
好的
Ok.
但是在那之后 他们的家庭和平相处
But after that, their families are reconciled,
所以这也不错
so that’s quite nice.
我不明白为什么蒙太古家族和凯普莱特家族
I don’t understand why the Montagons and the Caplets
就不能让他们俩双宿双飞呢
just won’t let them muck about together.
他们俩并没有成年吧
Well, they’re not really adults, are they?
朱丽叶都不到14岁
I mean, Juliet’s not yet 14.
她的奶妈在剧里说的 – 什么
You know, her nurse says so in the play. – What?
她只是个小女孩
She’s only a young girl.
她才13岁 – 没错 就是这样
She’s 13 years old?! – That’s right, yes.
我可以理解他们的家族为什么一定要分开他们了
I’m not surprised the families are trying to split them up then.
是我都要报♥警♥了
I’d have rang the police.
由于<罗密欧和朱丽叶>大获成功 莎士比亚也一步登天
‘With the success of Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare was on a roll.
他备受尊崇 也以此赚得叮当响
‘He had respect and prestige and he was coining it,
如果他们当时用的是硬币的话 我也不确定
‘if they had coins back then. I haven’t checked.’
随着他名气大涨 莎士比亚之名甚至传入王室阶层
As his reputation grew, Shakespeare became popular with royalty.
所以 他开始写王室所喜欢的
So, he wrote stuff they’d enjoy
以求积累更多权力和影响力
in the hope of gaining power and influence,
就像盖瑞·巴洛正在做的一样
like Gary Barlow does now.
莎士比亚的头号♥王室粉丝是伊丽莎白一世
Shakespeare’s first royal fan was Queen Elizabeth One.
船指的是豪华邮轮伊利莎白皇后号♥(RMS Queen Elizabeth) 1972年因发生大火而焚毁
1974年007电影<金枪客>设定伊利莎白皇后号♥残骸是英国秘密情报局的水底总部
那个女王 不是那艘船
The person, not the boat.
莎士比亚写了很多关于王室的剧目
‘Shakespeare wrote loads of plays about royals,
比方说他的历史剧
‘known as his History plays.’
这是他用来取悦国王和女王的方式
It was his way of pleasing the king and queen
通过记叙他们的家庭
by doing stuff about their families.
这就像你妈妈会买♥♥当地的报纸
A bit like when your mum buys the local paper
因为上面刊登了你兄弟出庭的新闻
because your brother’s court appearance is in it.
莎士比亚最好的史剧可能是<理查三世>
‘Perhaps Shakespeare’s best history play is Richard Three,
故事讲述了象人国王的点滴
‘which is about this sort of Elephant Man king.
这个角色现在可以通过安迪·瑟金斯沾满球球后用电脑合成
He’d be done in computers now by Andy Serkis covered in balls,
但是在最开始
‘but in the original
演员只能在针织套衫里塞个枕头
he was just a man with a pillow up his jumper.’
这相当前卫了 因为这是个能让残疾演员来扮演的主角
It’s quite modern because it’s a lead part for a disabled actor,
前提是他们并不介意
providing they don’t mind
被刻画成史上最恶毒的人
being depicted as the most evil man ever.
天生我一副畸形陋相
I am determin’ed to prove a villain.
<理查三世>实际是
Richard Three is actually
基于历史上真正的理查德三世创作的
based on the real King Richard of Third,
他身处玫瑰战争时期
who was in the Wars of the Roses.
一匹马 一匹马 我的王位换一匹战马
A horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse!
到最后 他失去了他的马
‘At the end he loses his horse
并最终死在了停车场内
and ends up wandering around a car park
在那里 他日日游荡 不断寻找他的马
looking for it, where he eventually dies.’
在那个时候你很难找到你的马
Because in those days you couldn’t find your horse
因为你不可能摁下你的钥匙 然后就能看到马屁♥股♥亮起来
just by beeping your keys and making its arse light up.
这部剧令人触动 且贴近我们生活
‘It’s quite moving and human,
因为我们都很担心
‘because we’ve all worried
我们可能死在停车场
we might die in a car park,
因为我们可能丢了停车卡
if we, like, lose the ticket
所以不能让栏杆升起
and can’t get the barrier up
然后就死在那儿了
and just die in there.
莎士比亚就是让你去思考这些事情
Shakespeare makes you think about those things,
这非常艰难
and that’s hard.
当伊丽莎白女王逝世 詹姆斯一世继位
When Queen Elizabeth died, James One took over.
他是个苏格兰人 十分喜欢女巫题材
He was Scottish and dead into witches,
莎士比亚把这一切直接放进了<麦克白>
which Shakespeare put straight into Macbeth.
妥妥的马屁精
Like an arsekisser.
麦克白讲了一个苏格兰的谋杀国王的妄想症患者的故事
‘Macbeth is a tale of paranoia and king-murder set in Scotland,
可能是因为赋税的原因
‘probably for tax reasons.
故事讲了一个叫麦克白的男子
‘It’s about a man called Macbeth,
他太出名了以至于他有一个专属名称
‘who’s so famous he’s only got one name.’
就像布拉吉丽娜
Like Brangelina.
麦克白 麦克白 麦克白
‘Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth!’
麦克白身边有个女打手叫麦克白夫人
‘Macbeth also has a female sidekick called Lady Macbeth,
麦克白就像吃豆人 她就是他身边的吃豆小姐
‘who was very much the Ms. Pac-Man to Macbeth’s Pac-Man.
阴森古怪的一天 麦克白碰到几个女巫
‘In a spooky encounter, Macbeth meets some witches,
他们告诉他将成为苏格兰之王
‘who tell him he’s going to become king of Scotchland.’
这在那个时候明显被认为是件好事
Which back then was apparently considered a good thing.
女巫并没有像我们想象的那么参与其中
‘The witches aren’t in it as much as you’d expect,
这就讲了一个普通的谋杀案
‘quite a lot of it’s about ordinary murder.
真是令人遗憾的一幕
This is a sorry sight!
所以干嘛要加女巫进去呢
It seems a shame to introduce witches in it
故事里设计的谋杀都只用了刀和剑
and then make all the murders normal with just knives and swords.
可能如果莎士比亚能够再认真想想
Maybe if Shakespeare had thought a bit harder
他可以加一些魔法的谋杀在里面
he’d have put some magic murders in.
比如一只魔力大手从马桶里伸出来
Like a big magic hand coming out a toilet
把某个人的屁♥股♥拽出来
and pulling someone’s arse inside out.
尽管如此 <麦克白>中还是有着很多的暴♥力♥和血腥
‘Nevertheless, there’s plenty of violence and bloodshed
最经典的一幕 就是麦克白在晚餐时出其不意的
‘and an iconic scene in which Macbeth is startled at dinner
被突然出现的班柯的鬼魂吓到
‘by the unexpected appearance of Banquo’s Ghost,
不知为何 鬼魂由字母H扮演
‘played here for some reason by the letter H.’
你们哪一个人干了这件事
Which of you have done this?
什么事 陛下
What, my good lord?
你不能说这是我♥干♥的事
Thou canst not say I did it:
别这样对我 摇着你的染着血的头发
never shake thy gory locks at me.
迄今为止 莎士比亚完成了大量的著作
‘By now, Shakespeare had built a considerable body of work,
都被收集进了<第一对开本>中
‘which is collected in something called the First Folio’
这就是那本莎士比亚亲手书写过的书
This is the actual book Shakespeare wrote with his bare hands,
现存唯一的有他所有剧本的版本
the only remaining copy of any of his plays.
很难想象万一这本书发生点儿什么
It’s amazing to think that if anything happened to this,
莎士比亚所有的著作都将永远失传
the entire works of Shakespeare would be lost forever.
所以 在我碰它之前 我要带上特制的白手套
So, before I touch it, I need to put on special white gloves.
事实上我们并不一定非要带白手套的 Philomena
Well, we don’t actually need to wear white gloves, Philomena.
我们的建议和我们遵从的规则是
The advice we have and the best practice we follow
不戴手套
is not wear gloves,