疯狂店员2（2006）

‘Cause you’re
a little close to me.
行啊 那我往后挪一点
I can pull back, if you want.
我们能不能挪到佛州自己的公♥寓♥去？
Can we pull back into our
own apartment in Florida again?
是吗？该死 丹堤
Really? Goddamn it, Dante.
这个话题我们还要说多少遍？
How many times
are we gonna have
this fucking conversation?
干嘛要买♥♥公♥寓♥啊
There is no point
in getting an apartment anymore.
我妈妈不是都说了吗？
My mother has
pretty much told us
我们结婚的时候 她送我们一套房♥子
that she’s gonna get us
a house as a wedding gift.
你父母的慷慨
Your parents’ generosity
让我觉得有些不舒服 艾玛
just makes me
a little uncomfortable, Em.
他们给我们一套房♥子
They’re giving us a house.
你♥爸♥爸给我一间他的洗车店
Your dad’s giving me
one of his car washes to run.
我只是觉得怪怪的
It just feels weird.
宝贝 你觉得怪那是因为
Babe, it just feels weird
because you’re so used
你已经习惯了生活对你的不公
to life shitting
on you all the time.
你这话是他妈的什么意思？
What the fuck does that mean?
我是说 突然之间
All I’m saying is that suddenly,
你有了个爱你的女人
you have a woman that loves you,
一份新的工作机会
a new job opportunity
前途一片光明 是吗？
and a fantastic life
to look forward to, right?
别不承认 老虎
你中大奖了
You got to face it, tiger:
You hit the jackpot.
怎么了？
RANDAL:
What’s up?
哪儿不对吗？
Something wrong?
没有
RANDAL:
Nope.
我看见你们在说话
Just saw you guys talking.
也想过来跟你们一起聊聊
Thought I’d come out here
and join you.
老天 你这份工真悠闲
这么多休息时间
God, it must be
nice to have a job
with so much downtime.
一张一弛 文武之道嘛
Downtime’s important.
如果我整天应付这些白♥痴♥
If I had to deal with all
the fucking mouth-breathers
一刻也不休息的话
nonstop, without a break,
还不如把我的脑袋丢进煎锅
I’d put my head
in the deep fryer.
还有我的两颗蛋蛋
Balls, too.
你真打算在旁边看我和我未婚夫亲热吗？
Do you really want
to sit here and watch me
and my fiance make out?
– 你真的那么无聊吗？
– 不是
– Are you that much of a loser?
– Not really.
我实际上是想让你们
在我出来后停一停
I was actually gonna ask
you two to knock it off
while I was out here.
我还真是不明白了
你为什么不能为你的好朋友高兴呢？
I don’t fucking understand
why you can’t be happy
for your best friend.
他终于找到了一个爱他的女人
He finally found a woman
who loves him.
(titters)
你在我眼里根本不是女人
Like you even register
as a chick to me.
跟男人也差不多
You might as well be a dude.
是吗？
Really?
是啊 你是我好朋友的马子
Yeah. You’re
my best friend’s girlfriend.
自从他占领你的私处之后
You became
persona non-nookie to me
你在我眼中就不是女人了
the moment he started diddling
your pooter.
因此如果把我当成女人的话
So thinking of me
in terms of being a girl
有点让你觉得害怕 是吗？
kind of creeps you out,
does it?
亲爱的 我不认为你是个女人
Sweetheart, I don’t think
of you in terms of being a girl.
我从来就不认为你…
I don’t think of you
in any way…
哦 太不应该了
Oh, that was just wrong.
如果你还不滚开
If you don’t get
the fuck out of here
让我跟我的男人好好呆在一起
so that I can spend
some quality time with my man,
接下来就要给你看我的私处了
next, I’m gonna show you
my pooter.
你怎么会做那种事情呢？
Why would you want
to do something like that?
好吧 好吧
我走还不行吗！
All right, all right,
I’m leaving!
老天！
Jesus!
你干嘛那样？
What’d you do that for?
他肯定以为你是在向他暗示
You realize he just
thinks you’re trying
要他跟我们来床上三人行
to get him into a three-way
with us now, don’t you?
是啊 跟葛雷夫斯吗？
EMMA: Yeah, right.
With Graves?
那家伙就是匹种马
跟大多数新泽西男人一样
That mars a total fucking
Lloyd, like most Jersey guys.
嘿！
Hey!
你现在嘴巴硬 等过了州界以后
You talk tough, but when
we’re crossing the state line,
我打赌你肯定会想新泽西的
I bet you get all sentimental
for Jersey
还会泪如泉涌
and squirt a few tears.
是啊 也许是高兴得泪如泉涌
Yeah, tears of joy, maybe.
新泽西真差劲
Jersey sucks,
到处都是白♥痴♥
and we are surrounded by morons.
说到这个 我得走了
On that note, I’m gonna go.
你要走了？
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You’re leaving?
是啊 在我们明早离开之前
EMMA:
Yeah, I’ve got
a ton of stuff to do
我还有很多事情要做 我爱你
before we leave in the morning,
but I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
再见
(whispering):
Bye.
哥们 我肯定你马子
想让你我和她玩床上三人行
Dude, I’m pretty sure
your old lady wants
to get you and me together
in a three-way.
(whistling lackadaisically)
(whistling continues)
(scoffs)
(whistling continues)
(door moos electronically)
Ow.
哥们 你几岁了啊？
Dude, how old are you?
(laughs)
你晓得的 我19岁 蓝道
You know I’m 19, Randal.
你不肯替我上班 还记得吗？
You wouldn’t work for me
last week, remember?
因为你说生日的时候上班
‘Cause you said working
on my birthday
会帮我塑造性格
（我吃老二）
would help me build character.
(sighs)
起码这次你“老二”两个字写对了
Well, at least you spelled
“cock” right this time.
你为什么现在上班还要妈妈送？
Why the fuck are you
still getting rides
from your mother?
还有更糟糕的
And even worse,
你怎么还跟她吻别？
what the fuck are you
kissing her good-bye for?
她难道是你的中学舞伴吗？
What is she,
your fuckir prom date?
你说什么都没用 蓝道
You’re not gonna bother me
today, Randal.
我今天心情特别好
I’m in too good a mood.
因为你妈妈把舌头给你舔了一下？
Because your mom
slipped you the tongue?
因为我刚刚从网上得到消息
No, because I just read online
that there’s gonna be
电影公♥司♥将会拍一部变形金刚的真人动画
a live-action
Transformers movie.
怎么？