疯狂店员2（2006）

that he’s got
他疯狂着的女人
a perfectly good chick
就在泽西这里等他
right here in Jersey
who he’s nuts about,
就连他妈的安·法兰克也能看出
她也是疯狂爱着他
and even Anne fuckir Frank
could see she’s nuts about him.
天晓得
God knows why.
她爱的是真正的你
And she likes you
for who you are, man.
而不是想把你塑造成一个
She ain’t trying
to stuff you into a box
根本不是你的人
you’ll never fit into.
更别提她还怀了
Not to mention the fact
that she’s carrying
你这丑陋至极低等生物的小孩
your hideous fucking CHUD
of a kid.
天啊 如果你还有理性的话
Jesus, if you had any sense
whatsoever,
你就该停止盲目地跟从其它人
you’d fuckir stop trying
to bray it up
with the rest of the sheep
而活出对自己有意义的人生
and live your life
the way it makes sense for you,
你♥他♥妈♥的混♥蛋♥！
you fuckir ass!
是吗？那是什么？
Oh, yeah?
And what’s that?
很明显你对自己的人生很有掌握
You obviously have
such a great handle
on your life.
告诉我如果你在我这种处境你会怎么做？
Tell me what you would do
if you were in my position…
或是你现在的处境你会怎么做？
or even what you’d do
in your own position?
把你批判我的钟摆甩回你自己
Swing that judgmental pendulum
back the other way
告诉我你怎么解决你的问题 混♥蛋♥
and tell me how you’d solve
all your problems, asshole.
伟大的蓝道·葛雷夫斯会怎么做？
What the fuck would the
great Randal Graves do
如果他掌控命运的能力
if he were half the
master of his destiny
有我一半的话
that I’m supposed to be?!
我会把小歇便利店买♥♥回来重新开张！
I’d buy the Quick Stop
and reopen it myself!
那就是我会做的
That’s what I’d do.
那是我们应该做的
That’s what we should do.
才怪
Yeah, right.
你以为我们是谁？蓝斯·道兹？
Who-who are we, Lance Dowds?
你知道要花多少钱
才能买♥♥回小歇便利店？
Do you know
how much it would cost
大概要五万吧
to buy the Quick Stop?
Like, 50 grand, easy.
你我都没有那么多钱
And neither one of us have
that type of money.
(sighs)
我们有
JAY:
We do.
没错
That’s right.
你们愿意借我们一些钱
You guys would be willing
to lend us some of that money
让我们重开便利商店吗？
so we can reopen the stores?
当然 但有两个条件
Sure, on two conditions.
一 我们可以在任何时间
One: We can hang out
in front of the store
在你商店门口闲混 你不能报♥警♥
anytime we want, and
you can’t call the cops.
二
And two:
你们必须互吹♥喇♥叭♥
You have to blow each other,
让我们看
and we get to watch.
然后你们得互舔屁♥眼♥
Then you have
to go ass to mouth.
好吧 就第一个条件
All right, just
the first condition.
认真的吗？
Seriously?
我有口吃吗？
当然是认真的
Do I stutter?
Yeah, seriously.
你觉得怎么样？
What do you think?
(sighs)
我有点不想说 但…
I almost hate to say it, but…
这还蛮合理的
it kind of makes sense.
也许那就是为什么我们在那店里
花了那么多时间
Hey, maybe that’s why we spent
so much time in that store,
为什么大学
why college
或其它东西最后都不了了之
or anything else
never panned out for us.
你想想
I mean, think about it, man.
我们两个自己开业
You and me running
our own business
而不是帮哪个混♥蛋♥工作
instead of working
for some other asshole?
可能会很棒 不是吗？
Could be
pretty fuckir sweet, right?
可能会
Yeah, it really could.
可是我还是不知道
But I don’t know, man.
我差一点就要开始新的生活
I was this close
to starting a new life.
天啊
Jesus.
你真的要逼我做吗？
You’re actually gonna make me
do this, aren’t you?
(sighs)
你们能把耳朵暂时遮起来吗？
Can you guys cover your ears
for a minute, please?
你是我最好的朋友…
You’re my best friend…
我爱你
and I love you.
是异性之爱
In a totally heterosexual way.
是吗
Yeah, right.
拜托 老哥 别离开我
Please, man, don’t leave me.
谢谢
Thanks.
总共是五块七毛九
That’ll be $5.79.
# #
你已经教我如何在婚礼上跳舞了
I mean, you already taught me
how to dance at a wedding.
我是指…我知道你不相信
罗蔓蒂克的爱情
I mean… l-I know you
don’t believe in romantic love.
# I am the kindest soul
with whom you’re connected #
# I have the bravest heart #
# That you’ve ever seen #
那是愿意吗？
Is that a yes?
你怎么拖了这么久才说？
What took you so long?
#… I am sometimes #
# You see everything #
# You see every part #
# You see all my light #
“魔戒掌控着所有”
“One ring to rule them all.”
# You dig everything #
# Of which I’m ashamed #
# There’s not anything
to which you can’t relate #
# And you’re still here #
# What I resist #
# Persists and speaks #
# Louder than #
# I know #
# What I resist #
# You love, no matter #
# How low #
# Or high I go… #
拜托
Come on!
# You see everything #
# You see every part #
# You see all my light #
# And you love my dark #
# You dig everything #
# Of which I’m ashamed #
# There’s not anything
to which you can’t relate #
# And you’re still here #
# You see everything #
– # You see every part #
– # You’re still here #
# You see all my light #
– # And you love my dark #
– # And you’re still here #
# You dig everything #
# Of which I’m ashamed #
# There’s not anything
to which you can’t relate #
# And you’re still here. #
# #
(song ends)
(traffic passing by)
(“Goodbye Horses”playing)
Oh!
谢谢
好的
Thanks.
Okay.
一包烟？
Pack of cigarettes?
你知道吗？
什么？
You know what?
What?
你今天不该在这里的
You’re not even supposed
to be here today.
(chuckles)
你感觉得到吗？
(sighs):
Can you feel it?
感觉到什么？