疯狂店员2（2006）

– Are you that dense?
– I’m serious.
如果贝琪不强迫你的话
If Becks isn’t busting
your balls about it,
那你在担心什么？
what’s the big deal?
你还是可以搬去佛罗里达
You could still
go down to Florida
从此过着幸福快乐的日子
and live happily ever after.
知道我在泽西有个私生子的情况下？
Knowing I have a love child
up in Jersey?!
你怎么每次都有
两个漂亮女孩喜欢你
How the fuck do you always have,
like, two good-Iooking
girls who want you?
你是我认识过最丑陋的低等生物
You’re the most
hideous fucking CHUD
但你却总有两个女孩
为你拼个你死我活
I’ve ever met,
and you always have
a pair of girls
fighting over you.
听好 你不能告诉任何人
Listen, you can never tell
anybody about this.
我能跟谁说？
Who am I gonna tell?
我是认真的 蓝道！
而且不只我
I’m serious, Randal!
And not just for me.
贝琪也说她不想任何人知道
Becky says she doesn’t want
anybody to know.
那你为什么告诉我？
Then what’d you tell me for?
你以前做错很多对不起我的事
Look, you’ve fucked me over
in the past,
但这是大事
but this is huge.
这很严重！
This is serious!
答应我你会守口如瓶
Promise me that you’ll
keep your mouth shut,
因为如果你这次再搞我
because if you fuck me over
this time,
我发誓我会揍死你的
I swear to God, I will beat
the shit out of you.
你跟什么军队？
(laughs):
You and what army?
我是认真的
I’m serious!
我也是认真的
你跟什么军队？
I’m serious, too.
You and what army?
答应我！
Promise me!
好啦！
放开我 你这个疯子
All right!
Get off of me, you nut!
干♥他♥妈的！
JAY:
What the fuck?!
我能跟你谈谈吗？
Can I talk to you for a minute?
嗯 当然
我们只是…
Oh, yeah, sure.
Uh, we were just…
愿你的第一胎是个男性化的小孩
May your first child
be a masculine child.
(huffs)
贝琪！
Becky!
蓝道！
Randal!
她让我有压♥迫♥感
我就脱口而出了
She was sweating me.
It just came out.
妈的！
Ow! Shit!
你想打我！
You swung at me!
– 你避开了！
– 因为你想打我！
– You ducked!
– Because you swung at me!
天杀的！
Damn it!
贝琪呢？
Where’s Becky?
她刚走了
She just left.
我需要帮忙 丹堤先生
I need help here, Mr. Dante.
我不会包东西
还有蓝道刚把最后的腌黄瓜吃掉了
I can’t wrap good,
and Randal ate the last pickles.
你这个告密鬼
You fucking snitch.
对不起 蓝道
对不起
I’m sorry, Randal.
I’m sorry.
贝琪！
Becky!
也许她回家去买♥♥个验孕棒
Maybe she went to get
a home pregnancy test
再确定一下
just to be sure.
今天能不能再更糟点？
How the fuck
could this day get any worse?
那你还在这干嘛？！
Well, what the fuck
are you doing, man?!
去追她！
Follow her!
你觉得这样好吗？
You-you think?
当然啦
You’re darn right, I do.
你们两个得好好处理这件事
You two have got
to work this out.
去追她 跟她谈谈
谈一个小时
Follow her, talk
to her for an hour,
然后回到这里
then come back here.
一个小时？！
An hour?!
我发现如果谈更久的话
L-I’ve found that any
more time than that,
你会有讲错话的风险
you run the risk of saying
the wrong thing again.
去追她
跟她谈一个小时
Follow her,
talk to her for an hour,
然后回到这里 帮我打烊
then come back here
and help me close up.
你不会自己打烊？
You can’t close up by yourself?
你♥他♥妈♥的混♥蛋♥
你就快当爸爸了！
Fucking A, man,
you’re about to become a father!
应该开始有责任感了！
Time to start acting
responsibly!
一小时候回来
快去！
Be back here in an hour.
Go!
(engine starts)
(tires screech)
哈啰
Hello.
我想你们是怪怪凯莉吧
I assume
you’re with Kinky Kelly.
没错 你是蓝道？
Good guess. You Randal?
正是
I am.
你们要多久时间布置？
How long is it gonna take you
to set up?
要接上音响
Got to hook up the boom box,
挂些布帘和灯光
hang a few curtains
and some lights.
还有台小烟雾机增加气氛
I’ve got a small smoke machine
for ambiance. Yeah.
那你快点开工吧
Well, you might as
well start setting up.
我们只有一小时
We got about an hour
我们的主角就要回来了
before the guest of honor
gets back.
我能在表演前先见见凯莉吗？
So, do I, uh, get to meet Kelly
before the show or what?
不行
Nah.
凯莉喜欢在表演前独处
Kelly likes privacy
before show time.
表演后 如果你喜欢的话
But after the show, if you want,
你可以花五百元干凯莉
for an extra $500,
you can fuck Kelly.
真的？酷
Really? Sweet.
对 我们要在哪里表演？
Yeah. So, where
we doing this thing?
就在餐厅里
Oh, right inside the restaurant.
你在说笑？
You’re kidding.
空间不够吗？
Not spacious enough?
空间是很充足
No, it’s plenty spacious.
可是这不是怪怪的吗？
Just kind of weird, isn’t it?
怪怪的？
Kind of weird?
你们是搞兽♥交♥的 老兄
You’re in the bestiality
business, dude.
喂 混♥蛋♥
Hey, fucko…
…我们喜欢自称
…we like to call it
种族交叉之色情艺术
inter-species erotica.
有意思
Intriguing.
(Smashing Pumpkins “1979”
playing)
# Shakedown 1979 #
# Cool kids never have
the time #
# On a live wire
right up off the street #
# You and I should meet #
# Junebug skipping
like a stone #
# Headlights pointed
at the dawn #