疯狂店员2（2006）

我们也就能做♥爱♥了
before we can have sex.
是米拉告诉你这些的？
And Myra told you this?
男女朋友之间
Boyfriends and girlfriends
总会讲些性事的 蓝道
talk to each other
about sex stuff, Randal.
如果你也有女朋友 你就晓得了
You’d know this
if you ever had a girlfriend.
你跟米拉有没有接吻过？
Have you and Myra
even kissed yet?
如果不是有李斯特魔王
我们早就接吻了
We would have already,
if it wasrt for Lister Fiend.
李斯特魔王是她的口腔怪兽 是吧？
Lister Fiend is her mouth troll,
isn’t it?
女人啊
Women.
我马上回来
I’ll be right back.
你肯定不会相信刚才伊赖亚斯对我说了什么
You are never gonna believe
what Elias just told me.
看谁来了 蓝道
Look who it is, Randal.
蓝道 葛雷夫斯
Randal Graves.
你也在这儿工作？
You work here, too?
天哪 我们班上还有谁在这里？
Jesus. Anyone else from
our graduating class back there?
哎呀呀…
RANDAL:
Well, well, well…
“泡菜操人”
Pickle Fucker.
看看你们两个小店员
Man, look at you two
fun-ployees.
一点都没变
Nothing’s changed.
我愿意打赌
You know, I’ll bet
dollars to donuts,
当你们不是在为星球大战的情节
when you two aren’t fighting
吵得不可开交的时候
about who shot first,
Han or Greedo,
你们还能打起精神
you can still muster up
enough energy
取笑别人
to make fun of other people.
是啊 你赶紧点了东西滚吧
Yeah. So hurry up and order
and get out of here,
让我们好好来取笑你
so we can make fun of you.
哦 我不晓得你是否还有资格
Oh, I don’t know
if you’re in a position
来取笑别人 葛雷夫斯
to make fun of anyone
anymore, Graves.
32岁了还在炸汉堡？
32 and you’re
flipping burgers?
这之前 我听说你们是在“小歇便利店”
Before that, I’d heard
it was the Quick Stop
呆了10年？
for, what, like, ten years?
不是每个人都能成为网路新贵的
We can’t all be
Internet millionaires.
网路新贵是谁？
Who’s an Internet millionaire?
伊赖亚斯这位是兰斯·道兹
Elias, this is Lance Dowds.
我们的高中同学
We went to high school together.
几年前
A few years ago,
他创建了一个搜索引擎
he built a search engine which
compiles the lowest prices
收集网上的便宜货
of merchandise
you can buy online.
你也许听说过…
MadDucketts.Com
You might have heard of it…
MadDucketts. Com.
是不是刚被亚马逊以2000万美元收♥购♥？
Didrt that just sell to Amazon
for, like, 20 million bucks?
是啊 不过在那之前
RANDAL:
Yeah, but back before
他不过是个“泡菜操人”
he was the Mad Ducketts guy,
he was just Pickle Fucker.
在一年级的时候
You see, freshman year,
高年级的学生会让我们交“投名状”
the seniors would hunt us
down and put us through
what they called initiations.
他们会把我们塞到储物柜
They’d stuff us into lockers
或者把我们脱♥光♥了扔进女浴室
or throw us in the girls’
shower room naked.
但兰斯最倒霉了
But Lance here
got the worst of it.
那些高年级学生扒下他的裤子
The seniors yanked
down his pants,
再他屁♥眼♥里塞了根腌黄瓜
and shoved a pickle up his ass,
让他走10英尺
and made him walk ten feet.
还没到目的地腌黄瓜就掉下来了
The pickle fell out
before he hit the ten-foot mark.
他只好咬掉一口塞进去继续走
He had to take a bite of it,
reinsert it and walk again.
哎唷…
Ew…
别担心…
他成功了
Yeah, but don’t worry…
he made it.
咬了4口之后
His pickle was small enough
to stay wedged
腌黄瓜终于插牢了
after only four bites.
我打赌这个世界上只有你一个人
I’ll bet you’re the only guy
in the world
还记得那件事 葛雷夫斯
who still remembers that,
Graves.
我打赌你还历历在目…
Oh, I bet you still remember it
pretty vividly…
“泡菜操人”
Pickle Fucker.
你有没有兴趣
ELIAS:
Do you have any interest
建一个魔戒和变形金刚的终极爱好者网站？
in building
the ultimate fan site
for both The Lord of the Rings
and The Transformers?
因为我愿意免费做管♥理♥员♥
Because I’d moderate it
for free.
算了吧“枕头裤”
Ease up, Pillow Pants.
这哥们对你那些狗屁东西才没有兴趣呢
The dude’s not into
your D&D, GoBots bullshit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
别侮辱他
Don’t insult the guy.
变形金刚很有市场的
The GoBots are like
the Kmart of Transformers.
谢谢你！
Thank you!
我跟他们说了好多遍了
I keep telling them that.
给 这是我的电邮地址
Here, here’s my e-mail address.
把你的想法电邮给我
Drop me a line
with some of your ideas.
酷
Cool.
好吧 我看看
LANCE:
Okay, let’s see.
点什么呢？
What do I want?
来个小牛堡加起司
和一杯健怡可乐
Uh… how about a Skinny Calf
with cheese and a Diet Coke?
我帮你准备
I’ll get your order.
给
Here you go.
速度真快
Well, that was fast.
还很新鲜呢
And fresh.
谢谢 欢迎下次光临
Thanks. Come again.
赶紧拿走吧
我才能点我的大牛堡
Yo, let’s wrap this up
so I can get my Cow Tipper on.
这么着吧？
You know what?
拿我的好了
Take mine.
我感觉我不会喜欢吃的
Something tells me
I’m not gonna like it, am I?
哇 谢谢 “泡菜操人”
Wow, thanks, Pickle Fucker.
“泡菜操人”请客啦！
Yo, so Pickle Fucker
gave us free eats!
我是不吃快餐的
You know,
I don’t eat fast food.
有害健康
It’s not good for you.
当我听说你们在这儿上班后
But when I heard you guys
were actually working here,
我就想亲自来看看
well, I just had
to see it for myself.
有这些空闲时间真不错
It’s kind of nice
having that kind of free time.
同样的 晓得某些事情是永远不会改变
Just like it’s
kind of comforting to know
也让我欣慰不已
that some things never change.
保重 打工的
Take care, clerks.
(imitates gunshots)
白♥痴♥
Ooh, sick burn.
(chuckles)
(door moos electronically)
去他妈的
Fuck this.
把你的车借给我
Let me borrow your car.
你还要上班呢
You’re supposed to be working.
我得出去几分钟