BJ单身日记

又及 喜欢你的上衣 很称你的奶♥子♥
P.S. Like your tits in that top.
♪ I’m thinking about the fireworks ♪
不能联想太多 不可以
Mustn’t read too much into it, no.
而这一切 当然是
And it all began, of course…
起源于一些非常随意的邮件往来
with some very irresponsible e-mailing…
跟布丽姬特并不存在的裙子有关
over Bridget’s non-existent skirt.
♪ If I split like light refracted ♪
♪ I’m only off to wander ♪
丹尼尔 纽约办公室在线上找你
Daniel. The New York office for you.
好吧 跟他们说我待会给他们打回去
Yeah, tell them I’ll get back to them.
♪ Once in a while ♪
丹尼尔
Daniel.
琼斯
Jones…
-晚上好 肯尼斯 -晚上好 丹尼尔
– Evening, Kenneth. – Good evening, Daniel.
如果你有时间的话
If you’ve got a moment…
我想你今天下班之前跟你说些事
I’d like a word before you leave tonight.
好 没问题
Yes, certainly.
-我马上过去找你 -好的
– I’ll see you in a sec. – Excellent.
-布兰达 -怎么了
– And, Brenda… – Yes?
《卡夫卡的摩托车》的发布会上…
At the “Kafka’s Motorbike” thing…
我觉得最好在我介绍他之前
I thought it might be fun if you introduce me…
你先介绍一下我
before I introduce him.
让发布会更隆重些
Add a lovely sense of occasion.
当然可以 先生
Certainly, sir.
布兰达 听我说
Brenda, listen.
你今晚有空吗
What are you doing tonight?
实际上 我非常忙
Actually, I’m busy.
好吧 太可惜了 我只是…
All right. Well, that’s a shame. I just…
我想着发发善心…
well, I thought it might be a charitable thing…
带你的裙子出去吃个晚餐…
to take your skirt out for dinner…
看它能不能长胖点
and try and fatten it up a bit.
或许你也可以一起来
Maybe you can come, too.
明天怎么样
What about tomorrow?
不行 明天是发布会
No. Tomorrow’s the launch.
对 没错
Ah, yes, of course.
《卡夫卡的摩托车》
当今时代最伟大的著作
大概是有史以来发行过的最糟糕的一本书了
Possibly the worst book ever published.
还好这不是我们最终敲定的广♥告♥语
Well, in the end, that’s not the ad line we’ve gone for.
后天晚上呢
Next night?
到时再看 好吗
Let’s see, shall we?
晚安 丹尼尔
Good night, Daniel.
好吧 别有压力 布丽姬特
Right. No pressure, Bridge…
但你未来一辈子的幸福就取决于
but your whole future happiness now depends on
你在这次社交场合上 如何表现自己了
how you behave on this one social occasion.
好吧 我应该怎么做
Right. What should I do?
第一 打扮得美艳些
First, look gorgeous.
第二 完全无视丹尼尔 多去巴结那些大作家
Two… then totally ignore Daniel and suck up to famous authors.
萨尔曼
Salman.
萨尔曼 萨尔曼
Salman. Salman.
周♥旋♥于宾客间
Circulate.
散发智慧的光辉
Oozing intelligence.
车♥臣♥真是太惨了
Isn’t it terrible about Chechnya?
车♥臣♥真是太惨了
Isn’t it terrible about Chechnya?
车♥臣♥
Chech-nya!
用贴心的细节去介绍各位
Introduce people with thoughtful details…
比如”希拉…
such as, “Sheila…
这位是丹尼尔 丹尼尔 这位是希拉”
This is Daniel. Daniel, this is Sheila.”
“希拉喜欢骑马 来自新西兰”
“Sheila enjoys horse-riding and comes from New Zealand.”
“丹尼尔喜欢出版 来自[射♥精♥]…”
“Daniel enjoys publishing and comes… ”
射你一脸
All over your face?
正是
Exactly.
不好意思
Excuse me.
很抱歉在你们吃晚饭的时候
I’m terribly sorry to interrupt you…
打断你们的谈话 只不过…
when you’re having dinner. It’s just that…
对 没错 是我
Yes. Yes, it was me.
没错 九年前
Yes. Nine years ago.
暂时没有再出唱片的计划
No current plans to record anything else.
十分感谢
Thank you so much.
只不过…
Oh, it’s just that…
你的…你的椅子压住了我妻子的外套
your… your chair is on my wife’s coat.
你的…你的椅子压住了
Your… your chair on the…
真不好意思 不好意思
Of course it is. Of course it is.
谢谢了 十分感谢
Thank you so much. Thank you.
一大难题
Major dilemma.
如果十分不幸地得”赤”诚相见
If actually do, by some terrible chance end up in flagrante…
当然这个在重要时刻最是性感魅惑了
surely these would be most attractive at crucial moment.
但是 那种重要时刻出现的概率…
However, chances of reaching crucial moment…
只有穿这个才会大大提高
greatly increase by wearing these.
可怕的藏肚子内♥裤♥
Scary stomach-holding-in panties.
深受全世界的奶奶们喜爱
Very popular with grannies the world over.
太难了 实在太难了
Ha. Tricky. Very tricky.
气温
5摄氏度
女士们先生们…
Ladies and gentlemen…
欢迎来到《卡夫卡的摩托车》的发布会…
welcome to the launch of “Kafka’s Motorbike”…
“当今时代最伟大的著作”…
“The Greatest Book of Our Time”…
并在此向各位介绍盯奶变♥态♥先生
and here to introduce it is Mr. Tits Pervert.
《卡夫卡的摩托车》
当今时代最伟大的著作
菲茨赫伯特 菲茨赫伯特 菲茨赫伯特
Ooh, Fitzherbert, Fitzherbert, Fitzherbert.
周♥旋♥于宾客间 散发智慧的光辉
OK, circulate, oozing intelligence.
无视丹尼尔 向其他所有人散发魅力
Ignore Daniel, and be fabulous with everyone else.
我同现场其他所有人一样聪明
I am the intellectual equal of everyone else here.
就像是关于短篇和中篇小说的完整理论 明白吗
It’s like a whole theory of short fiction and of the novella, you know?
当然 马丁对于中篇小说定义的问题在于
And, of course, the problem with Martin’s definition of the novella…
就是那只适用于他自己
is that it really only applies to him.
这听起来不像是马丁
That doesn’t sound like Martin.
不像
Not.
我也可能说的不对 你怎么看
I could be wrong. What do you think?
你知道…
Do you know…
洗手间在哪里吗
where the toilets are, huh?
保持镇定 不可能比现在更糟了
Stay calm. Can’t get any worse.
你在这做什么
What are you doing here?
我也在问自己同样的问题
I’ve been asking myself the same question.
我和一位同事一起来的
I came with a colleague.
你还好吗
So how are you?
除了感到十分失望
Well, apart from being very disappointed…
没能再见到我最爱的驯鹿羊毛套头衫之外
not to see my favourite reindeer jumper again…
我很好
I’m well.
有人打算介绍一下我吗
Anyone going to introduce me?
用贴心的细节介绍各位
Ah, introduce people with thoughtful details.
佩尔佩图阿
Perpetua.
这位是马克·达西
This is Mark Darcy.
马克是一位提前步入中年的白♥痴♥
Mark’s a prematurely middle-aged prick…
有一个种族生性残忍♥的前妻
with a cruel-raced ex-wife.
佩尔佩图阿是一位死老肥婆
Perpetua’s a fat-ass old bag…
整天就知道使唤我
who spends her time bossing me around.
或许不能这样
Maybe not.
有人打算介绍一下我吗
Anyone going to introduce me?
佩尔佩图阿
Ah, Perpetua.
这位是马克·达西
Uh, this is Mark Darcy.
马克是位顶尖的大律师
Mark’s a top barrister.
就职于加思和安德伍德律所
Oh, he comes from Garth and Underwood.
佩尔佩图阿是我的同事
Perpetua is one of my work colleagues.
马克 久闻大名
Why, Mark, I know you by reputation, of course.
娜塔莎
Ah, Natasha.
这位是布丽姬特·琼斯
This is Bridget Jones.
布丽姬特 这位是娜塔莎
Bridget, this is Natasha.
娜塔莎是位顶尖律师 尤其擅长家庭法
Natasha is a top attorney and specializes in family law.
布丽姬特从事于出版业…
Bridget works in publishing…
以前在我家的戏水池光着身子玩耍
and used to play naked in my paddling pool.
真奇怪
How odd.
佩尔佩图阿 房♥子找的怎么样了
Perpetua, how’s the house hunt going?
非常不顺利
Disaster.