单身日记：好孕来袭

-没有 不会 -干得漂亮 刚刚真是
– No. – Anway, well done. It was very…
真是技术娴熟
Technically adroit.
马克 我想让你见见
Mark, I would love for you to meet…
区域经理 直接转矩控制技术解决方案
阿里亚拉特纳·西坦帕拉纳森
阿里亚拉特纳·西坦帕拉纳森
Ariyaratna Sithamparanathan.
阿里亚拉特纳是区域经理
Ariyaratna’s is the area manager for
直接转矩控制技术解决方案的
DTC Technological Solutions.
对吗 阿里亚拉特纳
Aren’t you, Ari Sinatra?
-你好 -你好
– Hi. – Hello.
刚刚那是什么鬼
What the hell was that?
你是怎么想的啊
What’ere you thinking?
我收到大卫·卡特赖特发来的四封语♥音♥邮件
I’ve got four voicemails from David Cartwright on my phone
我都不敢点开
that I dare not listen to.
-我马上回来 -你把这叫做展演
– I’ll be right back. – You call that a presentation?
我不知道我身边有没有合适的人
I don’t know whether I’ve the right people around me
因为你肯定不是
because you’re not…
爱丽丝 对不起
Alice, I’m so sorry.
拉倒吧 现在道歉有用吗
Yeah, well. Sorry isn’t good enough.
注意点 我跟你说话的时候看着我
Excuse me. Look at me when I’m talking to you.
-听到了吗 -我很抱歉 但是我现在得
– Excuse me. – I’m so sorry, but I really…
什么
What?
布丽姬特 介绍你认识一下杰克·奎特
Bridget, I’d like you to meet Jack Qwant.
他很了不起
He’s rather extraordinary.
我刚在《纽约客》上看到他的简介
I was just reading a profile of him in The New Yorker.
是吗 好啊
Right, yes.
我们其实认识
We actually know each other.
我们当然认识彼此
Yes, we certainly do.
好样的 你怎么之前不介绍他给我认识
Good job. Why didn’t you introduce me to this man before?
他很棒 他是正在被引渡的
He’s brilliant. You know, he represents the punk rock band
-朋克摇滚乐队的律师 -没错
– that’s being extradited. – That’s right.
没错 我也知道那件事
Yes. Yes. I knew that too.
你好 我们刚刚也见过面
Hi, we’ve met fleetingly before as well.
我负责大部分达文垂的数据管理
I’m in charge of data management for most of Daventry.
你们相处得这么融洽真是太好了
I must say it’s fantastic that you’re getting on so well
因为你们有很多共同点
because you have a lot in common.
我们可不可以离开这里 找个安静点儿的地方
Shall we get out of here, and find a place a bit quieter?
当然可以 我订了詹尼餐厅
Yes, why not. I booked Gianni’s.
-太好了 -听起来不错
-Great. – That sounds lovely.
你最好别来掺和 阿里什么的 对不起
You might have to sit this one out, Arinuth. I’m sorry.
伦敦最小的意大利餐厅
所以你真的相信数学可以…
So do you actually believe that mathematics can…
你书里怎么说的来着
how did you put it in your book?
帮助我们分♥析♥此前科学无法探测的行为
help us analyze behavior previously invisible to science?
我的恋爱算法能帮助人们找到真爱
Well, my dating algorithm is to help people find love,
而不是替代以前的方式
not necessarily replace it.
-这个想法太不可思议了 -你自己试过吗
– Oh no, is incredible idea. – Have you ever tried it out?
你是单身 对吗
You’re single, right?
我…大概可以这么说吧
Well, I’m… Yes, I suppose so.
你们怎么认识的
How did you two meet?
-是啊 -其实…
– Yeah. – It’s umm…
算得上有趣 算得上
It’s sort of a funny story. Sort of.
是这样的
You see, umm…
几个月前的四号♥
a few months ago, on the fourth of the month,
我在音乐节遇到了杰克
I met Jack at a music festival.
没错
Right.
我们相处得很愉快
And we got on very well
一定程度上 有了关系
and sort of had… relations.
之后的一个星期 也就是十一号♥
And the next week, that is to say, on the eleventh
朱蒂的宝宝受洗的那天
of the month at Jude’s baby christening to be exact…
在喝了很多酒之后
following the consumption of a large amount of alcohol,
马克和我 也发生了类似的关系
Mark and I, well, we had similar relations.
接下来 有意思的是
And, um, this is the funny part,
我猜测 基于这些关系
I suppose. Owing to these relations…
我肚子里相应形成的小生命
the resulting life form currently residing in my tummy,
可能是你们其中一人的
could actually, in fact, be either of yours.
我知道我早该告诉你们的 但是
I know I should have told you both before but…
我就是没说
I just didn’t.
你们都看起来那么开心
You both seemed so happy.
如果我没理解错的话 你的意思是
So correct me if I’m wrong, but did you just say
这个孩子是我们其中一人的
that the baby could be either of us?
所以你也不知道我们谁是孩子的父亲
So you have no idea which of us is actually the father?
我知道这很费解
I know, it’s all very confusing.
对不起
I’m sorry.
对不起
I’m sorry.
无论我们打算如何处理这个情况
So however we choose to do this…
现在孩子才是最重要的
the most important thing now is this.
布丽姬特 我不会假装这不令人震惊
Bridget, I’m not going to pretend this isn’t a shock.
但我想让你知道的是 无论怎样…
But I want you to know whatever the circumstance…
你说得对
You’re right.
孩子才是最重要的
The most important thing is the baby.
谁也说不准 这可能会是一次精彩的冒险
Who knows, this could be a great adventure.
请原谅我 我有个会
I’m afraid you’re going to have to excuse me. I have a meeting.
-对不起 -马克
– I’m sorry. – Mark…
-詹尼 可以买♥♥单吗 -马上
– Gianni, can we have the bill please? – Subito.
为帕梅拉·琼斯投票
拯救我们的社会于水火
如果刚才那样算棘手
And if I thought that was tricky…
这个消息会给
how would the news go down
妈妈的教区议会竞选活动带来什么影响呢
at mum’s parish council election campaign?
我们都开始半小时了 你去哪儿了
Honestly, we started half an hour ago. Where have you been?
你说有紧急情况
You said it was an emergency.
《公报》想给我们拍全家福
Well, The Gazette wants to take a family portrait.
你穿的什么衣服
What are you wearing?
-天呐 布丽姬特 -没错
– Oh my God. Bridget, you’re… – Yes.
你怎么没告诉我
Why didn’t you say anything?
我不想让你不开心
I didn’t want to upset you.
怎么会呢
Why would you?
不会吧 布丽姬特 孩子的父亲是谁
Oh no, Bridget. Who’s the father?
不会是马克吧 请务必回答是
It’s not Mark is it? Oh, do say it is.
至少有一半的几率是
There’s at least a 50 percent chance.
一半的几率
A 50 percent chance?
马克或者一个叫杰克的善良美国人
Mark and this really nice American called Jack.
不会吧 布丽姬特 美国人
Oh no, Bridget. An American?
你们是玩三人行了吗
Did you have a three-way?
琼斯太太
Mrs Jones.
拿着衣服 假装一切都好
Here, take this and pretend everything is fine.
本来就一切都好啊
Everything is fine.
琼斯太太 我们能不能…
Mrs. Jones, can we…
你站在这里再好不过了
Here’s a lovely place for you to stand.
你对我感到羞耻吗
Are you ashamed of me?
不 亲爱的 但情况特殊
No darling. It’s just the circumstances.
我在竞选要职 明白吗
I’m running for high office. See?
为帕梅拉·琼斯投票
如果你热爱家庭 崇尚价值
请为尊重家庭价值的
帕梅拉·琼斯投票
如果热爱家庭 崇尚价值 太长了
If you love family and you love values… it’s so long.
现在又不是五十年代
It’s not the 1950’s.
看看你周围 32桌的同志伴侣刚刚领养了孩子
Look around you. Two lesbians just adopted at number 32.
如果你不转变观念
If you don’t change the way you look at things,
你会失去你宝贵的选票
you’re going to lose your precious election…
可能也会失去你的女儿
and perhaps your daughter.
布丽姬特 见到你真是太好了
Bridget, so lovely to see you.
-你是… -是的
– Are you…? – Yes, I am.
太好了 我们还以为你又长胖了
How wonderful. We thought you’d just got all fat again.
我现在是英国中部的抹大拉的马利亚
I’m now the Mary Magdalene of middle England.
疏远了妈妈和马克·达西
Have alienated Mom and Mark Darcy.
我就像热带雌性昆虫
Am like tropical female insect
跟雄性发♥生♥关♥系♥使自己受孕 然后吃掉他们
that shags men to impregnate self and eats them.
问题是
The question is:
马克能接受得了一妻多夫的家庭吗
will Mark even turn up and engage in a polyamorous family?
你好
Hello.
第一堂产前课
First pre-natal class.
-真激动人心啊 -是啊