单身日记：好孕来袭

重新开始
Here we go.
一开始的几个月 他们只能看见黑白二色
You know, first few months, they only see black and white.
这能刺♥激♥他们产生空间意识
This will help stimulate spatial awareness.
或是早发性运动疾病
Or early onset motion sickness.
我给他买♥♥了个这个 充气椅
I got him one of these. A bouncy chair.
不太确定要放在哪
Not quite sure where we’re going to put it.
说到这个
About that…
这里有些挤 你觉得呢
It’s kind of cramped in here, don’t you think?
这叫温馨
It’s cosy.
我最近在想
You know, I’ve been thinking.
我们如果同居应该不错
Might be nice if we moved in together.
你觉得我们准备好了吗
You think we’re ready for that?
我只是住够了酒店和机场休息室
I’m just tired of living in hotel rooms and airport lounges.
我们可以组建一个家庭
We could be a family.
我 你 还有他
Me, you and him.
你觉得怎么样
What do you say?
-万一不是你的呢 -什么
– What if it’s not yours? – What?
如果最后发现孩子是马克的呢
What if the baby turns out to be Mark’s?
那的确会改变一些事情
Well, I mean, it’d certainly change things.
这是你想要的吗 孩子是马克的
Is that what you want? For it to be Mark’s?
你爱他吗
Are you in love with him?
我之前爱过
I have been in the past.
那我呢
And me?
有可能 在将来的某一天
I could be, one day.
布丽姬特 我一直没跟你完全坦白
Bridget, I haven’t been totally honest with you.
马克觉得孩子不是他的
Mark thinks the baby isn’t his,
是我让他觉得孩子是我的
and I let him believe it was mine.
所以他才消失了
That’s why he disappeared.
-他为什么会这么想 -因为我让他这么想
– Why would he think that? – Because I let him.
因为我想独自占有你
Because I wanted you for myself.
我们彼此这么契合
We could be so good for each other.
97%的匹配度
97 percent.
测试
On paper.
但是相爱并不像数据那么简单
But falling in love doesn’t happen on paper.
有时候你爱一个人
Sometimes you love a person
是因为种种他们与你并不相似的原因
because of all the reasons they’re not like you.
有时候你爱一个人只是因为他给你家的感觉
And sometimes you love a person just because they feel like home.
我要去找马克
I’ve got to find Mark.
你好 皮尔斯
Hello, Pierce.
我是布丽姬特 我要找马克
It’s Bridget. I’m trying to get hold of Mark.
他刚刚外出回来 布丽姬特
He just got back from a trip, Bridget.
他在回家的出租车上
He’s in a taxi on his way home.
大约还有八周临盆
Approximately eight weeks to go.
你其实并不需要他们
You don’t really need them, you know.
男人唯一的好处就是安装汽车安全座椅
All they’re good for is fitting car seats,
以及做个撒气筒
and blaming things on,
除此之外只会给你添麻烦
they really just get in the way after that.
你完全可以一个人抚养
You’re absolutely capable of doing this on your own.
我就是这样
I did.
体重 谁在乎呢
卡路里 3100 主要是土豆酒精摄入 0 折磨 但是只剩四周了
体重 谁在乎呢
卡路里 3100 主要是土豆酒精摄入 0 折磨 但是只剩四周了
你知道吗 我一个人就可以做到
You know what? I can do this on my own.
我们靠自己就可以做到
We can do this on our own.
怀孕的好处之一就是
One of the perks of being pregnant
不用再感觉自己是个可悲的孤独老女人了
is I no longer feel like a tragic lonely spinster.
因为有小小的奇迹在你体内生长
Because of a miniature miracle growing inside.
-你好 -你好
– Hello. – Hello!
妈妈在办圣诞派对和政♥治♥集♥会♥
Mum’s throwing a Christmas party / political rally.
像是有苏格兰煎蛋的八国♥峰♥会
It’s like the G8 summit with Scotch eggs.
勇敢点 去吧
Be brave. Go in.
-你好啊 亲爱的 -你好
– Hello darling. – Hello.
抱歉 我不知道大家都在
Sorry, I didn’t realise everyone was here.
我去楼上待着
I’ll just pop upstairs.
不 瞎说 瞎说
No, nonsense. Nonsense.
乌娜把海报都重新印过了
Una’s had all the posters reprinted.
投帕梅拉·琼斯一票
支持单身母亲 少数群体 大多数同性恋群体和意大利人
-你给了我灵感 -还是太长了
– You’ve inspired me. – Still so long.
后来发现你说得太对了
You were quite right, as it turns out.
这地方满是单身母亲
This place is teeming with single mothers,
单身父亲 双性恋 代♥孕♥人群
single fathers, bisexuals, surrogates.
他们人都很好 也很正常
And they’re all lovely and so normal.
知道吗 我竞选团队里还有两个同性恋
Do you know, I’ve even got two homosexuals on the team.
不 谢谢你
No, thank you.
-谁知道呢 -所有人都知道
– Who knew? – Everybody.
我太为你骄傲了 亲爱的 你知道吗
I’m so proud of you, darling. You know that?
你做的事情并不轻松
What you’re doing is not easy,
但要说有谁能做到 那就是你
but if anyone can make it work, it’s you.
有你做他的母亲 那孩子将是世界上最幸运的男孩
That child is the luckiest boy on earth to have you as his mother.
他也能拥有数不清的父爱
And he’s going to have the love of a million fathers
只要你在他身边
with you by his side.
走吧 我们还要去竞选呢
Come on. We’ve got some campaigning to do.
让一让 让一让 单身孕妈来了
Make way. Make way. Single pregnant mother coming through.
劳拉 乔什 我们要给卢仝将军六分钟
Laura, Josh. We need to give six minutes to General Lu Tong, ok.
这可是劲爆的独家新闻
It’s a huge scoop.
那个 爱丽丝想取消采访
Yeah, Alice wants to pull the interview.
-什么 -她有一个专题
– What? – She’s got a feature on
《世界真的会在周二毁灭吗》
“Is The World Really Ending On Tuesday?”
我们没了卢仝可能真的会毁灭 卢仝要留着
Well it may as well if we lose Lu Tong. Lu Tong stays.
六分钟 开始吧
Six minutes. Let’s do this.
卢仝将军 你好 抱歉今天这里太混乱了
General Lu Tong, hi. Sorry it’s so chaotic in here today.
谢谢你能过来 我们两分钟之后开始直播
Thank you for coming on. We’re on, live, in two minutes.
米兰达可能想从
Miranda will probably want to start
缅♥甸♥首都奈比多的情况开始
with what’s going on in Naypyidaw.
-三号♥机位 -米兰达 继续问卢仝将军
– Go three. – Miranda, back to General Lu Tong.
继续施加压力
Keep pressing.
我再问一次 卢仝将军
So let me ask you one more time, General Lu Tong…
你会为自己的政♥府♥所犯侵犯人♥权♥的行为
will you take responsibility for the human rights abuses…
承担责任吗
perpetrated by your own government?
他紧张了 四号♥机位注意 拍到他的汗珠
He’s on the rack. Tight on 4. Get those beads of sweat.
四号♥位 推进四号♥位
Take 4, in you go, 4. Push it.
抱歉 我不能回答
I’m sorry, I can’t answer that.
不能还是不肯 卢仝
Can’t, or won’t, Lu Tong?
不能还是不肯 卢仝将军
Can’t, or won’t, General Lu Tong?
总的来说 我觉得是不能说
On balance, I’d suggest “can’t”, considering
因为我刚刚在大厅里找到了卢仝将军
I’ve just found General Lu Tong in the lobby,
而他的司机现在在直播里回答问题
and his chauffeur is currently live on air answering questions
事关远东地缘政♥治♥
about Far Eastern geopolitics.
不能吗 能不能针你自己的军队
No? Any comments you want to make about
实施性♥虐♥待的事情做出一些评价
the use of sexual torture by your own military?
-问问他伦敦的交通 -伦敦交通 卢仝将军
– Ask him about London traffic. – London traffic, General Lu Tong,
有什么要说的吗 不评论 真令人难以置信
anything to say about that? No comment there. Unbelievable.
卢仝将军的访谈就到这里
That’s it from General Lu Tong.
稍微休息一下 马上回来
We’ll see you after this short break.
干得漂亮
Good job.
非常不幸 你让我别无选择
Unfortunately, you leave me no choice.
然而开除一个怀孕的人是违法的
It is actually illegal to fire somebody for being pregnant.
我不是因为她怀孕开除她
I’m not firing her for being pregnant.
我开除她是因为没有工作能力
I’m firing her for gross incompetency.
布丽姬特是这个节目的核心力量
Bridget is the beating heart of this show.
你怎么会想开除她呢
How could you want to fire her?
采访了将军的司机而不是将军本人这个理由怎么样
How about for interviewing a chauffeur instead of a general?
借用电视采访去确定
Using a TV interview to determine
嘉宾是不是她孩子的父亲
if a guest might be the father of her child…
而且在节目中直播了六个光屁♥股♥男人
and being responsible for the broadcast of six bare arses?
没事的
It’s okay.
真的没事 理查德
It really okay, Richard.
反正我也打算辞职 可能会吧
I was going to quit anyway. Probably.
不管你信不信 我刚来这里工作时也有点像你
Believe it or not, I was a little like you when I started here.
比你更矮胖一点 妆没这么浓
A little chunkier and much less makeup,
但是我也想留下自己的印迹
but I wanted to make my mark too.