BJ单身日记2：理性边缘

There’s room in mine. Give me something.
太好了
Great.
-这是什么 -这是一个生育蛇盆
– What the hell is this? – It is a fertility-snake bowl.
杰德给我的
Jed gave it to me.
♪ Think think, let your mind go… ♪
真浪漫
How romantic.
♪ Freedom… ♪
我觉得 每个人的人生中
The way I look at it, in everyone’s life,
都有定量的坏运气
there’s a certain amount of shit.
-没错 -在过去的一年
– That’s true. – In the last year,
我倒了许多霉
things have turned out pretty shitty.
所以从逻辑上来说 甚至从数学规律上来说
So logically, mathematically, even,
现在该有好事发生了
it’s got to be time for something not shit.
-比如什么 -可能马克会甩了瑞贝卡
– Like what? – Maybe Mark will have chucked Rebecca.
他会跑到我的门前
And he’ll run to my door,
跪下来 也许穿着湿透了的白衬衫
fall to his knees, possibly wearing a wet white shirt,
求我回到他身边
and beg me to come back.
♪ Think Think ♪
♪ Think about what you’re tryin’ to do to me… ♪
是的 我信心十足 相信好事一定会发生
Yes, I very confidently expect very, very good times ahead.
对所有飞往伦敦的旅客的最后一次广播…
Final call for all passengers to London…
它真可爱 你好
Isn’t he cute? Hello.
你好啊
Hello.
它好像有点激动
Seems to be getting a bit excited.
-布丽姬特 -别担心 肯定是弄错了
– Bridget! – Don’t worry. It’s just a misunderstanding.
拖住飞机
Hold the plane.
拖住飞机
Hold the plane.
借过 借过
Excuse me! Excuse me!
没有登机的旅客请迅速前往27号♥门
All remaining passengers please report to Gate 27 immediately.
不是我的
It’s not mine.
-这是你的吗 -是的
– These yours? – Yes.
女子拘留所
这不是我最喜欢的一条
I mean, they’re not my favorite pair, or anything.
你不能这么做 我是英国人
You can’t do this. I’m English.
是得过奖的记者
And an award-winning journalist.
好吧 可能没得过奖
Well, maybe not award-winning,
但我参加过很多颁奖典礼
but I have been to lots of award ceremonies.
你们好 我是布丽姬特·琼斯
Hello. Bridget Jones.
很高兴见到你们
Lovely to meet all of you.
我的老天爷
Oh, my bloody God and fuck.
希望他们告诉了英国大使
I hope they’ve told the British ambassador.
沙泽肯定会这么做的
Surely Shazzer would have raised the alert.
沙泽可能也被抓住了
Maybe they got Shazzer as well.
天啊 已经28小时了
Oh, God, 28 hours.
还要待多久
How much longer?
琼斯 布丽姬特·琼斯 过来
Jones. Bridget Jones, you come now.
查理·帕克-诺尔斯 领事助理
Charlie Parker-Knowles, Assistant Consul.
谢天谢地你来了
Thank God you’re here.
我们可以
Um, shall we…
这件事真的跟我一点关系都没有
I really had absolutely nothing to do with it.
整件事都是杰德策划的
Jed planned the whole thing.
所以他才愿意跟沙泽亲热 沙泽比他大多了
That’s why he snogged Shazzer, who’s much older than him
而且人老珠黄了
and slightly past her peak.
没错 他听起来确实是个十足的人♥渣♥
Yes, he sounds the most frightful shit.
但不幸的是 每个被抓到的人都这么说
But the bore is everyone who gets caught has exactly the same story,
所以除非我们抓到他
so unless we find this,
抓到这个叫杰德的人 并且让他认罪
this Jed fellow and get a full confession,
不然你的处境有点棘手
you’re on a bit of a sticky wicket.
有多棘手
Well, how sticky?
15至20年的牢狱之灾
Something like 15 to 20 years.
-15年 -幸运的话能减到10年
– 15 years? – Or maybe ten if we’re lucky.
10年
Ten years!
在这里
In here?
非常黑暗
Very black.
我这辈子一直都有预感
All my life I’ve had the feeling something terrible
有厄运将要降临
was about to happen.
现在它终于来了
Now it has.
比谢特 对吗
Bijjit, right?
其实是布丽姬特
Bridget, actually.
我叫帕劳
My name Phrao.
你是我朋友吗
You’re my friend?
-悠着点儿 -超级内衣
– Steady on! – Superbra!
借我穿 一天换两支烟
You lend me. One day, two cigarette.
我考虑一下
Well, I’ll think about it.
其实我本来打算戒烟来着
Actually, I was thinking of giving up,
但那是被逮捕入狱
but that was before I was arrested
面临10或15年牢狱之灾前的事了
and thrown into a Thai prison for ten to 15 years.
情况有变
Circumstances change.
不 真的是”爱抚”
No, it really, really is “Touched”.
“宛若处♥女♥ 第一次被爱抚”
“Like a vir-gin, touched for the very first time”.
-不 你错了 -不
– No, you wrong. – No.
♪ 宛若蠢驴 ♪
♪ Like a wersion ♪
-是处♥女♥ -♪ 第一次被♥操♥ ♪
– Vir-gin. – ♪ Fucked for the very first time ♪
-是爱抚 -♪ 宛若蠢驴 ♪
– Touched. – ♪ Like a wersion ♪
要忍♥受十年吗
Ten years of this?
停 够了 够了
Stop! Enough. Enough.
如果你们真的要唱 就给我唱对了
If you’re going to do it, you really ought to do it properly.
毕竟麦当娜就是个完美主义者
After all, Madonna is nothing if not a perfectionist.
五六七八
Five, six, seven, eight and one…
♪ 宛若处♥女♥ ♪
♪ Like a virgin ♪
♪ 第一次被人爱抚 ♪
♪ Touched for the very first time ♪
♪ 宛若处♥女♥ ♪
♪ Like a virgin ♪
♪ 当你我的心 ♪
♪ When your heart beats ♪
♪ 一起跳动 ♪
♪ Next to mine… ♪
亲爱的妈妈和爸爸
Dear Mum and Dad,
我很想你们
I’m missing you a lot.
请尽快回信给我
Please write as soon as you can.
我现在感觉很消沉
I’m feeling pretty low.
比谢特·琼
Bijjit Jone.
进去 你们有五分钟的时间
In there. You have five minutes.
只有五分钟
Just five.
马克
Mark?
你还好吗
You all right?
我…挺好的
Oh… Fine.
还…吓得屁滚尿流
And… scared shitless.
但还是充满活力
But, you know, perky.
不敢相信你会大老远来这里
I can’t believe you’ve come all this way.
我没有 听说你出事的时候
I haven’t. I was out here handling a Foreign Office case
我刚巧在这里处理一个外♥交♥部♥的案子
when I heard about your situation.
我没有做任何违法的事
I haven’t done anything wrong.
我向你保证 这完全是个误会
I promise you, it’s all a big mistake.
是的 当然了
Yes, well, I’m sure it is.
我把文件都拿来了 我们一定能把事情理清楚
I’ve got all the papers here and I’m sure we can sort it out.
我一直都在想你 我很抱歉
I think about you all the time. And I’m so sorry,
我真的真的很抱歉 对我们之间的所有事情
I really, really am, for everything that happened between us.
好的
Yes, well…
我们时间不多
We don’t have much time
我需要你帮我指认一个人
and I need you to identify someone for me.
这个是不是
Is this the man with whom
你吃了致幻蘑菇 跟丹尼尔·克利弗
you were seen taking hallucinogenic mushrooms
共度良宵前见到的那个人
before you spent the night with Daniel Cleaver?
是的 就是他 但我觉得你该知道
Yes, that’s him, but I think you should know…
是他给你装着毒品的蛇碗吗
The same man who gave you the snake containing the drugs?
是的 就是他 他是杰德
Yes, that’s him, that’s Jed.
但那是沙泽的蛇 不是我的
But it was Shazzer’s snake, not mine,
至于丹尼尔·克利弗的事
and as far as Daniel Cleaver goes…
我完全不关心你的性生活
Your sex life doesn’t concern me at all.
你在这里遇到过不公平待遇吗
Has there been any ill treatment here?
没有 没有 我的意思是
No, no. Well, I mean…
厕所条件很差 但是
…the toilet facilities are well below par, but…
那就好 事情简单多了
Good, that makes things simpler.
听着 他们准备撤销对你的所有诉讼
Listen, they’re prepared to drop all charges against you
在这样的案子里 这是很轻的处置了
which is extremely lenient, given the circumstances.