BJ单身日记2：理性边缘

该死的
Bloody hell.
我是天使
Oh, I’m an angel.
太好了
How lovely.
发光的沙滩
Glorious sand.
我想脱♥光♥
I want to be naked.
-像小宝宝一样 -好了 天使 起来吧
– Naked as a baby. – Come on, then, angel. Up you get.
-还好吗 -嗯
– All right? – Mmm.
-你感觉怎么样 -非常丢人
– How are you feeling? – Completely embarrassed.
别这样 你磕药后的样子很迷人
Don’t be. You’re charming on drugs.
以后继续吧 不要拒绝
In future, just say yes.
你知道吗
Do you know,
我以前一直不明白你为什么想和我约会
I never really understood why you wanted to go out with me.
-似乎不太可能 -别这么说 琼斯
– It seemed so unlikely. – Come on. Jones. For God’s sake.
你很性感 你逗我发笑
You’re sexy. You make me laugh.
是笑你 当然不是和你一起笑
At you, of course, not with you.
而你
And you were…
恰巧
…incidentally…
给我带来了
…the best shag…
最好的性♥爱♥
…I ever had.
最好的
The best?
除了在五年级更衣室里和西蒙·里德之外 没错
Aside from Simon Reade in the fifth-form locker room, yeah.
那如果我说你也很不错呢
Suppose I said you were pretty good too?
很不错
Pretty good?
比马克·达西更好吗
Was I better than Mark Darcy?
顺便问一下 他是不是总说
By the way, is it true he always says
“对不起 我好像要高♥潮♥了”
“I’m sorry, I think I’m going to come”?
-谁告诉你的 -这是众所周知的事
– Who told you that? – It’s common knowledge, isn’t it?
说吧 琼斯 是谁把谁甩了
Come on, Jones. Who gave who the hoof?
为什么
And why?
这么说吧
Let’s just say
我们有了不可修复的矛盾
that we suffered from a fatal incompatibility.
我很想你 琼斯
I have missed you, Jones.
我想在任何情况下
I don’t suppose there’s any circumstances
你都不会再考虑
in which you would ever consider
尝试信任我一次了吗
thinking about trusting me again?
绝不
Absolutely not.
我想我该回我的小屋了
Well, I suppose I’ll be getting back to my little hut now.
非常感谢你 丹尼尔 玩得很开心
Thank you very much, Daniel. I had a nice time.
那是北斗七星还是小北斗七星
Is that the Big Dipper or the little one?
我永远也分不清
I can never tell them apart.
绝对是北斗七星
Definitely the big one.
在赤道这么近的地方 看不见小北斗七星
You can’t see the little one this close to the equator.
得了吧 你又不懂天文学
Oh, please. You don’t know about astronomy.
我当然懂 我是个天文迷
I most certainly do. I’m passionate about it.
琼斯 如果你对观星感兴趣的话
You know, Jones, if stargazing is something that interests you,
那么不得不说
then it has to be said that
我阳台上的风景相当不错
the view from my balcony is quite outstanding.
也许你愿意上来看看
Perhaps you’d like to come up and have a little look?
我看还是不了
I don’t think so.
看到那边的吗 顺着我的手臂看过去
See over there? Along my arm.
就是它 在那边
That’s it, over there.
那是猎户腰带
That is Orion’s Belt.
旁边是一个非常性感的小星座
And next to that is a very sexy little constellation
叫乌莎的少女
called Ursa’s Maiden.
她很淘气 想解开猎户腰带
She’s being very naughty and trying to undo Orion’s belt.
好的 那一个是什么
All right, what about… that one?
那是一个非常非常著名的星座
Yes, well that is a very, very famous star.
它的旁边 是
Um, right next to, of course, um…
我不知道 有些星星
I don’t know, some other fucking star
在那里待了许久
that’s been there for years and years.
却没有引起人们注意
Without even giving a toss.
看到一颗星星 你就能看到星群 琼斯
Seen one star, you’ve seen the lot, that’s what I say, Jones.
但是女孩却并不一样
Different with girls, though.
一些女孩
Some girls…
很特别
…are special.
是吗
Are they?
我想是如此
I think so.
你对我施了什么特殊魔法 琼斯
What is this special power you hold over me, Jones?
那你的治疗怎么办
And what about your therapy?
我想你可能就是解药
I think you might be it.
♪ I’m not in love ♪
♪ So don’t forget it ♪
♪ It’s just a silly phase ♪
♪ I’m going through ♪
♪ And just because ♪
♪ I call you up ♪
♪ Don’t get me wrong ♪
♪ Don’t think you’ve got it made ♪
♪ I’m not in love… ♪
老天 真希望你穿着那条大内♥裤♥
God, I hope you’re wearing those giant panties.
拜托了
Please.
一定要是那条大内♥裤♥
Please be wearing the giant panties.
一定
Please.
我的老朋友
Oh, my old friends.
爸爸回来了
Oh, Daddy’s home.
你想我了吗 因为爸爸想你了 没错
Did you miss me? Because Daddy missed you. Yes, he did.
等等
Wait.
抱歉
Sorry.
可以等我一分钟吗
Can I just have a minute?
一分钟就行
Just a minute.
天啊 天啊 天啊 天啊
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
-你还好吗 -当然
– Everything all right? – Yeah, sure.
就是有一点点 紧张
Just a bit… nervous.
如果我今晚和你过夜
I mean, you see, if I stay with you tonight,
那就意味着 跟某人的
well, it’s definitely the end of something…
一段重要关系注定结束了
important with someone.
也有可能早都结束了
Um, which has probably ended already,
-但也许… -布丽姬 布丽姬 布丽姬
– but perhaps… – Bridge, Bridge Bridge, Bridge.
每个人都有改过自新的机会 不是吗
Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?
除了希♥特♥勒♥
Except Hitler.
他真的非常 非常 非常坏
Well, he was very, very, very naughty.
什么
What?
没事 麻烦晚一点再来 非常感谢
Nothing. Er, come back later, please. Thank you very much.
布丽姬特 没事的 不用管
Bridge, it’s nothing. Leave it. Leave it.
你预约了10点半
You made order for 10:30.
预约了什么
Order for what?
我
Me.
10点半
10:30.
好了 我受够这家酒店了
You know what, I’ve had it absolutely up to here with this hotel.
整个星期搞出各种错误
It’s been cock-ups like this all week.
你是克利弗先生吗
You Mr. Cleaver, right?
昨天你约的玛丽亚 她说你出手很大方
Yesterday, you with Maria. She say you big tipper.
如果你想玩3P我没意见
I mean, I’m up for it if you are.
不 我说蠢话了
Actually, no, that was stupid.
布丽姬特 别这样 这不过是个小疏忽
Bridget, come on! It’s just one little slip.
别让它毁掉
Don’t let it ruin
一整个周末的性♥爱♥马拉松
what was gonna be a fantastic weekend shagathon.
-我不想要性♥爱♥马拉松 -不 我也不想 我也不想
– I don’t want a shagathon. – No, nor do I. Nor do I.
你说得完全正确
You’re absolutely right about that.
你想要的是周末性♥爱♥马拉松
You’re looking for a weekend of sex.
-而我想要… -更多
– And I’m looking… – For more.
和你一样 我认为我能改变
Just like you, I feel I can change.
-我一定能改 布丽姬 -需要改变的是我
– I absolutely can change, Bridge. – I need to change.
真不敢相信我又上当了
I can’t believe I fell for it again.
丹尼尔 我真心认为
Daniel, I really do think
你应该去死 操♥死♥你自己
that you should go and fuck yourself.
或者操她 但绝对不可能是我
Or her. But definitely not me.
♪ Think Think ♪
♪ Think about what you’re trying to do to me ♪
♪ Think Think think ♪
♪ Let your mind go… ♪
不敢相信他编出性治疗这种鬼话
I can’t believe he made up the sex therapy thing.
没关系 我终于吸取了教训
Doesn’t matter. I finally learnt my lesson,
这是个很好的教训
and it’s an excellent lesson to have nailed.
-操 -怎么了
– Fuck! – What?
行李箱装不下了
No fucking room in the fucking suitcase.
我的还能装 给我点东西