BJ单身日记2：理性边缘

Poland. And it has a sea coast.
什么海
Which sea?
管它呢 听着
Oh, sod it. Now, look,
我觉得我们应该好好讨论一下芬奇的建议
I think we should talk about Finch’s suggestion.
我要去泰国了 琼斯
I am going to Thailand, Jones.
你不愿意做我的女导游吗
Wouldn’t you like to be my little Girl Guide?
泰国吗
Thailand?
你们还没离开希思罗机场就会搞上♥床♥
You’ll shag before you leave Heathrow.
我会没事的
I’ll be perfectly fine.
我在有意避开所有男人
I’m eschewing all men.
以及香烟和碳水化合物
And cigarettes. And carbohydrates.
-我们不会让你去的 -至少你一个人不行
– We can’t possibly let you go. – On your own.
拜托 别这样
Oh, stop it, all of you.
我是一个成熟 老练 职业的女性
I am a mature, sophisticated, professional woman
我要去泰国
and I’m going to Thailand
就我独自一人 谢谢你们的关心
entirely on my own, thank you very much.
-操 -不好意思
– Fuck! – Sorry.
-操 -不好意思
– Fuckity fuck. – Sorry.
操
Fuck.
现在最后的乘客也已经登机
And now our final passengers have joined us,
我们可以出发了
we can get underway.
总得有人最后到啊
Someone’s gotta be last.
我们没有坐在一起吗
Are we not sitting together?
操
Oh, fuck.
我认为现在不是
I don’t think we’re really in a position to, um…
发牢骚的时候 不好意思 借过
…make a fuss. Sorry. Hi.
不好意思
Sorry.
我们看什么电影
What’s our film?
你叫什么名字 我叫奥利弗
What’s your name? Mine’s Olive.
布丽姬特
Er, Bridget.
下午好 女士们 先生们
Good afternoon again, ladies and gentlemen.
我们将提供各种免税商品
We’re about to offer a wide range of duty-free items.
有关详细信息 请参见您的机上杂♥志♥
Details can be found in your in-flight magazine.
泰国人都很棒 尤其是年轻女士
Wonderful people, the Thais. Particularly the young ladies.
如果你明白我指的是什么
If you know what I mean, eh?
-我的天哪 -对不起 对不起
– Oh, for heaven’s sake. – Sorry sorry.
请跟我来
Come with me now.
-我们去哪 -就在前面
– Where are we going? – Just through here.
谢谢你 这比上学的时候还糟糕
Thank you. This is worse than school.
这真的不是我的错
It really wasn’t my fault.
这是碳酸饮料 你知道 它只是
It’s a fizzy drink, you know, it just…
只是泡沫洒出来了
It just sort of fizzied over.
真的不忍♥心把你留在贫民舱 琼斯
Couldn’t bear to think of you back there in slum class, Jones.
格兰姆 谢谢
Graham, thank you so much.
你是我见过的最好的空中乘务员
You are the best air steward I’ve ever come across in my life.
恕我直言 还是最聪明的
And if I may say so, the smartest.
谢谢夸奖 先生
Thank you, sir.
我以为你已经在那儿做调研了
I thought you were there already, doing research.
没有 没事 直播的时候现编就行了
Fuck, no. I make it up as I go along.
琼斯 飞行时间需要13个小时
OK, Jones, we have 13 hours for this trip.
我需要一些机上娱乐活动
I need some in-flight entertainment.
不如你详细地跟我说说
Why don’t you tell me, in detail,
你在学校打篮网球的事
the story of your school netball tour,
尤其是那件发生在公共浴室里的
particularly reference to the unsavory incident
不幸事故
in the communal showers.
我没有打过篮网球 也没上过女子学校
I didn’t play netball. Or go to a girls’ school.
-或者在那儿洗过澡 -那不是真的 对吧
– Or have showers. – Now that’s just not true, is it?
-那我先说吧 -不
– Let me start you off. – No.
如果你觉得无聊的话
If you’re gonna be dull,
我就回去找达洛威夫人
I’m going to plunge back into Mrs. Dalloway,
你知道她有多喜欢这样 那个坏坏的婊♥子♥
and you know how she loves that. Dirty, dirty bitch.
♪ Here’s a new thing ♪
♪ That’s gonna please ya ♪
♪ Just a little town down in Indonesia ♪
♪ Bangkok… ♪
抵达曼谷 这里很热
Arrived Bangkok. Very hot.
终于可以放心 投入到严肃的新闻工作中去
Relieved at last to throw myself into serious journalistic work.
泰国长♥期♥以来一直呼吁来自世界各地的旅行者
Thailand has long called travelers from around the globe
相信精神救助和因果宿怨
to take spiritual succour and karmic rest.
几个世纪以来 西方游客不可避免地
For centuries, Western visitors have been inevitably drawn
被吸引到曼谷一些最古老的圣地
to some of Bangkok’s oldest sanctuaries.
没错 布丽姬特 即使是我也不例外
So true, Bridget. Even I, fight it as I may, am no exception.
我一到这里 就感觉到一股不可抗拒的力量
The moment I arrive here, I almost feel an irresistible pull…
来到了这个安宁寺
…to this. The Temple of Tranquility.
的确 没有比这更能代表
Indeed, nothing symbolizes
泰国东方和西方
Thailand’s extraordinary fusion of East and West,
传统与创新的非凡融合了
of tradition and innovation, better than this.
全身按♥摩♥
Fully body-to-body massage.
-你好 -你好
– Sawatdee kha? – Sawatdee khrab?
泰国不可思议的地方
An incredible thing about thailand
在于它的传统美食
is the amazing traditional cuisine.
我将品尝这顶级美味佳肴 卡帕鲁克
I’m going to taste kapaluk, the ultimate delicacy.
操 操
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
我的天 我的天
Oh, my God. My God.
尝尝一只可爱的蝗虫怎么样
How about a lovely locust?
不不不 我不行
I can’t. No, no, I can’t.
它们很美味
They’re delicious.
那是攀牙府渔村
Now that is Ko Panyi,
是一首享誉盛名的泰国诗的发生地
which is the setting for a very famous Thai poem,
我想你会很喜欢的 琼斯
which I think you’d like very much, Jones.
是关于一个行为不端的王子
It’s all about a badly-behaved prince
与一位美丽公主相爱的故事
who finds true love with a beautiful,
而事实上 这位公主还稍微有点胖
and as it happens, very slightly overweight princess.
-你在逗我 -我从不拿诗歌♥开玩笑
– You’re teasing me. – I never tease about poetry.
“萨瓦娜玛丽 你为什么看不到我崇拜你”
“Oh, Suvarnamali Why can you not see that I adore you?”
“你为什么要避开我 鄙视我”
“Why do you avoid and scorn me?”
“如果你抛弃了我 离开了我
“If you cast me off and leave me
我又该怎么活下去”
How should I live another day?”
你以为我只知道
And you thought all I knew
泰国的女人和乒乓球
of Thailand was pussies and ping-pong balls.
-你不会跟他上♥床♥ -不 当然不会
– You wouldn’t sleep with him? – No, of course not.
绝对不会
Absolutely not.
但是他的确很聪明
But he is clever.
-是吗 -还很帅
– Yes? – And handsome.
他还是个功能失调 精神错乱 人到中年的迷失男孩
He’s also a dysfunctional, fucked-up, middle-aged, lost boy.
毕竟人无完人
Well, no-one’s perfect.
我不知道你很忙
I didn’t realize you were busy.
他那么年轻 都可以当你的孙子了
He’s young enough to be your grandson.
我知道 那不是很棒吗
I know. Isn’t that great?
来吧 朋友们 我有一份特别的午餐
Come on, guys, I’ve got a very special treat lined up for lunch.
我越来越喜欢杰德了
I’m getting rather fond of Jed,
他对泰国菜真的很感兴趣
and I must say he has a genuine interest in Thai cuisine.
我没想到蛋卷在泰国这么受欢迎
I wouldn’t have thought omelet would be big thing in Thailand.
-或者蘑菇 -这是魔法
– Or mushrooms, for that matter. – It’s magic.
这是迷幻蘑菇煎蛋卷 对吗
It is a magic mushroom omelet, isn’t it?
这太糟糕了
Well, that’s awful.
这一点都不好笑
There is nothing funny in this at all.
不过 谢天谢地
Although, thank God,
蘑菇似乎没起作用
the mushrooms don’t actually seem to be working.
♪ Just what is it that you want to do? ♪
多么漂亮的颜色啊
Such lovely colors!
♪ We wanna get loaded And we wanna have a good time… ♪
美丽的布丽姬特 美丽的布丽姬特 美丽的布丽姬特
Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget!
布丽姬特·琼斯
Bridget Jones!
布丽姬特·琼斯
Bridget Jones!
等下
But, wait…
-布丽姬特·琼斯 -那是什么声音
– Bridget Jones? – What sound is that?
是丹尼尔·克利弗
It is Daniel Cleaver.
他帅得令人魂不守舍
How unutterably beautiful he is.
琼斯 你♥他♥妈♥在做什么
Jones, what the hell are you doing?
你的颜色多可爱
You are lovely colors.
♪ I don’t wanna lose your love… ♪
我来了
Here. Here I am.
我觉得你完全嗨了
I think you’re completely off your face.