失常（2015）

I’ll just get the check then. Miss?
-天哪 哇哦 开什么玩笑 -服务员
-Jesus. Wow. What? -Miss?
我真是 真是难以置信
I can’t… I can’t believe you.
去你的 迈克尔 去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you, Michael. Fuck off.
贝拉 我只是想试着挽回
Bella! I’m just trying to understand!
那不是迈克尔·斯通吗
Isn’t that Michael stone?
是的 就是迈克尔·斯通
It’s Michael stone, yes.
下一秒你就搬走了
…and the next minute you’re out the door
连声再见都没说
with barely a goodbye.
祝你♥他♥妈♥的生活如意啊 迈克尔
Have a good fucking life, Michael.
爱你的贝拉
Love, Bella.
你好 请问有什么需要的吗
Hello. May I help you?
你好
Hello there.
我想给我儿子亨利买♥♥个玩具
I am looking for a toy for my son, Henry.
也许你听说过他的名字 他是个海盗
Perhaps you’ve heard of him, he’s a pirate.
哦
Oh.
哦 天哪 我走错店了
Oh, dear, this is not quite the store I expected.
嗯 这儿确实不是那种玩具店
No, I suppose not those kind of toys.
今晚真不顺
It’s not my night.
你后面的那个是什么
What’s that behind you?
哦 那个啊 是个古董 日本产的
Oh, that? That’s an antique. It’s Japanese.
真的很特别
It’s quite unusual.
很漂亮
It’s pretty.
烫 烫
Hot. Hot.
好烫
Hot!
啊
Ahh!
啊 我♥操♥
Ahh! Fuck!
操
Fuck!
好冷 去你♥妈♥的♥ 操
Cold! Fuck you! Fuck!
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you!
操
Fuck!
好了
Okay.
总算能洗了
There we go.
嗯
Mmm.
不管怎样 我都快等不及赶紧回去见你了
Anyway, I can’t wait to see you when I get back.
周四过得怎么样
How’s Thursday?
哦 棒极了
No, it’s super-fancy.
哦 天哪 他帅吗
Oh, my god. Is he cute?
天哪
Jesus.
是别人
Someone else.
我的裤子他妈的去哪儿了
Where are my fucking pants?
操
Fuck!
有人吗 小姐
Hello, miss?
见鬼 见鬼
Shit. Shit!
什么事
Yes?
抱歉打扰了 我在找我朋友的房♥间
I’m sorry to bother you. I was just looking for my friend’s room.
-不是这里 -抱歉
-Not here. -I’m sorry.
没事
It’s okay.
嗨 噢
Hi! Oh.
你好 有什么事吗 我以为你是别人呢
Hello. Can I help you? I thought you were someone else.
没什么事 抱歉 我也以为你是别人呢
No, sorry. I thought you were someone else.
没事
That’s okay.
-谁啊 谁啊 -呃
-Yes? Yes? -Um…
抱歉打扰了 我在找
I’m sorry to bother you. I’m looking for…
是谁啊
Who is it?
-我叫迈克尔·斯通 -哦
-My name’s Michael stone. -Oh!
哦 等下
Oh! Hold on!
嗨 哦 天哪 真是你
Hi! Oh, my god! It’s you.
嗨 抱歉打扰你了
Hi, I’m sorry to bother you…
不不不 没有打扰
No. Not at all!
你要进来吗
Do you want to come in?
我在找人
I was just looking for someone.
我想我是敲错
I think I’ve got the wrong…
是谁在哪儿 小艾
Who’s there, em?
是斯通先生 迈克尔·斯通
It’s Mr. Stone! Michael stone!
真的吗
Really?
哦 天哪
Oh, my god.
哦 天哪
Oh, my god.
你好
Hello!
哦 我看上去很难看吗 我刚刚卸完妆
Oh! Do I look awful? I was just taking my makeup off.
哦 天哪 别看我了
Oh, my god. Ugh. Don’t look at me.
你好
Hello.
不 你看上去很可爱
No, you look lovely.
真是难以置信你在我们房♥间里
I can’t believe you’re in our room.
我们从亚克朗来 专门来听你演讲的
We came here from akron just to hear you speak.
哦 天哪 别看着我了
Oh, my god. Please don’t look at me.
哦 那我真的是很荣幸了
Well, I’m certainly very flattered.
-你可以看我呀 -艾米莉
-You can look at me. -Emily.
有什么我们能帮忙的吗
Is there something we can do for you?
我是说 我没别的意思
I mean… I don’t mean that in a weird way.
虽说 没有啦 我开玩笑的
Although… No, I’m kidding!
我只是还很惊喜
I’m just… Oh, my god.
哦 我在
Oh! I was…
我在找我的朋友
I was trying to find my friend.
我以为这是他的房♥间
I thought this was his room. And…
噢 不是
Oh, nope.
除非他躲在床底下了
Nope. Unless he’s hiding under the bed!
我们觉得你很有才华
We think you’re super-brilliant.
-我们都读过你的书 -噢
-We both read your book. -Oh!
看你的书
Yay for your book!
谢谢
Thank you.
你们是在客服行业吗
Are you ladies in customer services?
-是的 的确是 -嗯哼
-Well, yes, as a matter of fact. -Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh.
我们俩都是电♥话♥接待室的小组长
We’re both team leaders in a phone room.
读了你的书之后
We read your book
我们的工作效率提升了百分之九十
and productivity went up 90% in our department.
你太棒了
You’re so smart.
我都不知道该不该在你面前乱说话
I’m not sure I should even say words in front of you,
因为这样会显得我很愚蠢
because you’ll see how dumb I am.
别说了 丽萨
Shut up, Lisa.
哦 不不 别不好意思 丽萨
No, don’t. Don’t shut up, Lisa.
你的声音很好听
You have a miraculous voice.
哦 天哪
Oh, god, no!
快别说了 我吗
Yick. Me?
不可能 不可能
Yick. No way. No way.
丽萨 你有点过了
Lisa, you’re being nuts.
呃 两位女士愿意赏脸和我去酒吧喝一杯吗
Say, would you ladies like to get a drink at the bar, maybe?
我们可以聊聊天
We could chat.
谈谈电♥话♥系统的革新
Talk about phone system innovations.
噢 呃
Oh, um…
好啊 我想我们愿意赴约 对吧 丽萨
Um, yeah! I think we could manage that. Right, Lisa?
不过 你还要找你的朋友吗
Do you need to find your friend, though?
不了
No.
我的朋友可比不上两位美丽的女士
Two beautiful ladies trumps my friend.
哦 天哪 谢谢你的赞美
Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much!
我都脸红了
I’m blushing.
嗯 真的感谢你
Yes, thank you so much!
我也脸红了
I’m blushing, too.
真是不敢相信我们巧遇了你
I can’t believe we bumped into you.
我们之所以订了这家酒店
You know, we sprung for this hotel
就是想好好享受下这个短假期
because this is like a mini-vacation for us.
我们负担不起费用
We can’t even afford it.
但是看看我们遇到了谁
But look what happened!
这些都值了
It’s so worth it.
噢
Oh.
我爱这首歌♥
I love this song.
# 我多么想要亲近 #
# How I long to be near… #
别唱了 丽萨
Shut up, Lisa.
我今晚还预定了按♥摩♥服务
I even got a massage tonight in the room!
嗯
Mmm.
有时候稍微奢侈下也不是坏事