晚期四重奏（2012）

我知道我看到了什么
I know what I see.
我来告诉你我看到了什么
I’ll tell you what I see.
丹尼尔的车停在街边
Daniel’s car… on the street.
他在你的公♥寓♥做什么
What was he doing at your apartment?
他给我上课
He teaches me.
我希望是来上小提琴课
The violin, I hope,
因为你的床乱糟糟的
because your bed is a mess.
我不想跟你撒谎
I’m not going to lie to you.
很好
Good.
我和丹尼尔相爱了
Daniel and I are in love.
你们之间不是相爱 那是胡闹
You’re not in love. That’s ridiculous.
你在嫉妒
You’re jealous.
你为什么这么生我的气
Why are you so angry with me?
我做了什么让你用这样的口气和我说话
What did I do to cause you to talk to me in this way?
难道是我们把你宠坏了 是这样吗
I mean, did we just spoil you too much, is that what it is?
你以为我过得开心吗
Do you think I had fun?
你以为成长时有两个巡演的四重奏演奏家
Do you think it was fun growing up
作为父母是个开心的事吗
with two roving quartet players for parents,
你们一年中有7个月都不在
who were gone seven months of the year,
我总是坐在小提琴或中提琴演奏会的后排
and I was always taking a backseat to a violin and a viola?
总是这样 这有趣吗 你觉得有趣吗
Always, is that fun? Does that seem fun to you?
我们优先考虑的一直都是你
You have always been our first priority.
一派胡言 一派胡言
That is bullshit! That’s bullshit,
你总是嘴上说说而已 代表不了什么
That’s just words. It’s nothing.
如果是真的 你就会中断你的巡演回来
If that were true, you would have cut back on the touring.
-我们不能 -你该多关心
– We couldn’t… – You would have paid more attention
我身上发生了什么事
to what was going on with me.
而不是总为海顿的四重奏
Not always looking for a
找一个该死的完美指法
perfect goddamn fingering to a Haydn quartet.
我尽力做到最好 我努力去当个好母亲
I did the best I could. I tried to be a good mother to you.
我想做得完美 但这就是音乐家的生活
I wanted to be perfect, but this is a musician’s life.
我们要排练 要练习 还要表演
We rehearse and we practice and we perform.
不幸的是 你以后
Unfortunately, that’s how
也要经历这些 到时你就懂了
it’s going to be for you, too, you’ll see.
不 我不会的
No, I won’t.
因为我永远不会像你那样抚养小孩
Because I would never raise a child that way.
对不起
I’m sorry.
如果我是你 如果跟你的处境相同
If I were you, if I had been you in that position…
我会选择流产
I would’ve had an abortion.
你怎么能那么残忍♥
How can you be so cruel?
我承担所有的风险生下了你
I risked everything to have you.
你明白吗
Do you understand?
你知道那是什么感受吗 你知道吗
Do you have any idea what it feels like, do you?
-我知道 我懂 -不
– Yeah. Yeah. – No.
我知道
I know…
我他妈知道没母爱的成长是什么感受
I know what it’s like to grow up without a fucking mother!
天啊
Oh, my God.
这他妈是16分音符
They’re fucking sixteenths,
斯蒂夫 别再揉弦了
Steve, stop milking them.
孩子们 即使不赞同
Folks, disagree,
也要委婉地提出来 并且请
but do it nicely, and please…
努力减少犯错
try not to get caught up in mistakes.
当我像你们这么大时
When I was your age,
我遇到了伟大的帕布罗·卡萨尔斯
I met the great Pablo Casals.
杰出的西班牙大提琴演奏家
我害怕得几乎连话都说不出来
I was so intimidated. I could barely speak.
他一定是觉察到了 因为
He must have sensed this, because…
他并没有说话 而是让我演奏
instead of a chat, he asked me to play.
他让我演奏巴♥赫♥第四组曲的序曲
He requested the prelude to the Fourth Bach suite.
我集中精神 深吸了一口气后开始演奏
I focused, took a deep breath, began,
音符开始飘荡
the notes started to flow,
空气中弥漫着音乐
the music’s in the air,
那是我演奏得最差劲的音乐
and it was the worst music I ever made.
我拉得太糟了 演奏了一半就不得不停下来
I played so badly, I got halfway through and had to stop.
太棒了 他说 拉得好
“Bravo,” He said, “Well done.”
接着 他让我演奏阿勒曼德舞曲
Then, he asked me to play the allemande.
原为德国民间舞 17和18世纪发展成为法国宫廷舞
第二次机会 我在心里对自己说
“A second chance,” I think to myself.
却奇差无比
I never played worse.
太好了 非常妙 他这样称赞我
“Wonderful. Splendid,” He praised me.
那晚我离开的时候
And when I left that night,
之前的演奏让我心情很糟
I felt terrible about my performance,
但是真正让我烦恼的
but what really bothered me
不是我的演奏 而是卡萨尔斯
wasn’t my playing, it was Casals.
是他的不诚实
The insincerity.
很多年以后 我在巴黎遇到了他
Years later, I met him in Paris
那时我已达到专业水准 我们一起演奏
and by then I was professional, we played together.
我们慢慢熟悉了起来
We became acquaintances,
一天晚上 小喝一杯之后
and one evening, over a glass of wine…
我跟他坦白说
I confessed to him
我认为他那些年前说的都是扯淡
what I thought of his horseshit all those years ago.
他勃然大怒
And he got angry.
他严肃起来 拿起他的大提琴
His demeanor changed, he grabbed his cello,
听着 他说 接着他拉了这一乐句
“Listen,” He said. And he played this phrase.
当时你拉的不就是这段吗 用这个指法
“Didn’t you play that? Fingering.
你的确是这么拉的 我觉得很新颖
You did. It was novel to me.
拉得很好
It was good.
至于这段
And here,
你不是用像这样的全弓演奏了这节吗
didn’t you attack this passage with an up-bow like this?”
卡萨尔斯总是强调事物好的一面
Casals emphasized the good stuff,
也一直很享受这样的生活
the things he enjoyed.
他喜欢鼓励 至于其他的
He encouraged. And for the rest,
留给白♥痴♥们去担心吧
leave that to the morons,
用西班牙语说
or whatever it is in Spanish,
就是那些吹毛求疵的人
who judge by counting faults.
我可以以感恩之心对待
“I can be grateful,
所以你也得这样 他说
“and so must you be,” He said,
即使为了仅仅一个乐节 一个精彩瞬间
“For even one singular phrase, one transcendent moment.”
帕布罗·卡萨尔斯 真正的赢家
Yeah, wow. Pablo Casals. Champion.
我再强调一遍 尽量带着感情 感情
Once more, with feeling please. Feeling!
您好 这里是罗伯特和朱丽叶的家
Hello, you’ve reached Robert and Juliette.
我们现在无法接听您的电♥话♥
Neither one of us is available to take your call right now,
请在滴声后留言 谢谢
so please leave a message after the beep. Thanks.
朱丽 罗伯特 药物起作用了
Jules, Robert… the medication is working.
我现在身体不错 演奏应该没问题
I’m OK for now. I can play.
周二在我家排练
Rehearsal at my place, Tuesday.
我这就打给丹尼尔 再见
I’m calling Daniel. Goodbye.
太好了 我们配合得不错 很有活力
Huh? This is good. We’re getting there. Energy. Umph.
我不知道我该用哪个弓法
I can’t figure out which string crossing I like.
你刚刚用弓法很好 没必要改了
I like very much what you did now. You should stick to that.
我想她应该自己决定她想怎么拉
I think she should do whatever she wants.
-我们继续 -好的
– Let’s continue. – Yeah.
那么我们接着练 接着练 我们继续
All right, let’s continue. Let’s continue. Let’s move on.
你介意停下来吗 罗伯特
Do you mind, Robert?
现在是什么情况
What is going on?
告诉我
Fill me in.
我们周四还有场音乐会
We’ve got a concert on Thursday.
我想我们最好还是把私事放一放
I think it would be best if personal matters waited.
天啊 我想你最好还是
Oh, God, I think it would be best
他妈的把嘴闭上 你懂吗
if you’d just shut the fuck up, you know?
你能控制下你自己吗 罗伯特
Can you control yourself, Robert?
你的理智呢
You mind?
还是你控制下自己吧 丹尼尔
You control yourself, Daniel.
你就不能去睡别人的女儿吗
You couldn’t find somebody else’s daughter to sleep with?
什么
What?
什么 你做什么了
What? What did you do?
亚历和我在一起了
Alex and I are involved.
事实就是这样 罗伯特
It is what it is, Robert.
你和她上♥床♥了是吗
You slept with her?
我们相爱了
We’re in love.
我不是故意要让它发生的 但它发生了
Didn’t mean for it to happen, it happened.