厨师、大盗、他的太太和她的情人（1989）

厨师、大盗
他的妻子和她的情人
把狗抓过来
Go and get the dogs.
快点, 谬斯!
Come on, then. Mews!
快点, 张开你的嘴巴, 张开嘴
Come on, now. Open your mouth. Open your mouth, eh?
学会欣赏你的食物
Learn to appreciate your food, eh?
和你那又脏又小的饭馆相比
Compared to what you serve up in that dirty little canteen of yours,
这简直就是三星级的美食了
this is a three-star supper.
你要学学规矩
You must learn the rules.
我的吃喝都是最好最贵的
I need to eat and drink the very best and that’s expensive.
你听过玛莉女王贡鸡吗?
Have you ever heard of chicken â la reine Marie
或是乳酪生蚝?
or oyster sauce mornay
或是巴黎蛙腿?
or frogs’ legs Parisienne?
不, 你当然没听过
No. Course you haven’t.
把裤子脱下来! 脱下来!
Take his pants down! Take his pants down.
亲爱的…
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
你♥爸♥爸没教你擦屁♥股♥吗?
Didn’t your daddy teach you to wipe your bottom? Eh?
亚伯特! 别捉弄他了
Albert! Leave him alone.
来吧, 我们去吃饭 -对, 吃饭
Come on, let’s eat. -Oh, let’s eat.
用餐前要先喂食动物, 乔琪娜
Before we eat, Georgina, we must feed and water the animals.
罗伊! 这是我太太乔琪娜·史毕卡
Roy! This is my wife, Georgina Spica.
她有一副好心肠和好身材
She’s got a heart of gold and a body to match.
我是亚伯特·史毕卡, 我也有一副好心肠和数不清的财富
I am Albert Spica and I have a heart of gold and a great deal of money to match.
而你这个罗伊, 除了你欠我的钱以外, 你根本就是屁
And you are Roy, who’s got absolutely nothing, except what you owe me.
你在女士面前丢脸, 你在我们面前丢脸
You are humiliated in front of a lady, you’re humiliated in front of us.
乔琪娜, 我尽量快
Georgina, I’ll be as quick as I possibly can.
脏死了… 你去拿热水来, 还有毛巾肥皂
Gah… You, go and get me some hot water, eh? And a towel and soap.
现在…
Now…
Yeah.
让你吃过晚餐了, 就要请你喝杯饮料了
Now I’ve given you a good dinner and you can have a nice drink.
以后你给我小心一点, 乖乖付钱
Now, you behave yourself in future and pay when I ask you.
不… 不… -否则下次会把你的大便
No, no, no… -Or next time I’ll make you eat your own shit
像牙膏一样从老二挤出来, 再叫你吃下去
after forcing it through your dick like toothpaste.
史班格勒, 老二收起来, 我的天啊, 有女士在场
No, put that away, Spangler. Cor blimey, there’s a lady present.
她不想看到你那皱巴巴的老二
She doesn’t want to see your shrivelled contributions.
啊
Ah.
这就对了, 谢谢啦, 清爽… 干净…
That’s it. Thank you very much. Nice, clean…
毛巾给我!
Give me that towel!
快给我!
Give me that. Yeah.
我不喜欢中国菜, 看见你, 就更讨厌了
I never liked that Chinese food but looking at you now, I like it even less.
好了, 各位!
Righto, boys!
我们要给理查一个惊喜
We must surprise Richard on our anniversary.
把招牌带来
Bring the letters.
乔琪, 你的奶♥子♥上有烟灰, 穿黑色的衣服就别抽烟
Georgie, you got ash on your tits. If you’re gonna wear black, don’t smoke.
穿了黑衣服看起来像白♥痴♥ -这是蓝色衣服
You look like a tart in black. -It’s blue.
是黑色的! 还有别再抽烟了, 不正经的女人才抽烟
It’s black, and don’t smoke. It’s sloppy in a woman.
没有人想吸二手烟
No one who’s going to eat smokes.
抽烟会破坏味蕾, 还会让尿尿变臭
It ruins your taste buds, burns your tongue and makes your pee stink.
乱讲 -这他妈的不是胡说
Rubbish. -It’s not bloody rubbish.
你尿尿完厕所都很臭
I’ve smelt the loo after you’ve been piddling in there.
你还学不会吗, 笨蛋?
When are you gonna learn, smartarse?
♪ 愿神怜悯我 ♪
♪ Have mercy upon me ♪
快一点, 小子
Come on, hurry up, boys.
♪ … 怜悯我 ♪
♪ … Upon me ♪
这就对了, 把招牌挂在那里… 史毕卡＆柏斯特
Righto, lads, get them numbers up there, Spica & Boarst.
♪ 抹去我的罪愆 ♪
♪ Blot out my transgressions ♪
♪ 以牛膝草净化我 ♪
♪ Purge me with hyssop ♪
♪ 而我将洁净 ♪
♪ And I shall be clean ♪
♪ 洗净我 ♪
♪ Wash me ♪
♪ 洗净我 ♪
♪ Wash me ♪
♪ 我将比雪洁白 ♪
♪ And I shall be whiter than snow ♪
理查在哪里?
Where’s Richard?
他在拔毛 -拔毛吗? 理查!
He’s plucking. -He’s plucking, eh? Richard!
你在哪里? 别拔毛了, 你在哪里?
Where are you? Stop that plucking. Where are you?
这是什么鬼东西?
Now what’s that? A-S-P…
简直乱来, 把招牌挂对, 他妈的
That’s nonsense. Spell it right, for Christ’s sake.
该死, 理查! 理… 啊!
Bloody hell. Richard! Rich… Ah!
终于找到你了, 理查
There you are, Richard. Now…
把鸭子放下来, 瞧瞧我带来的东西吧?
Leave that out and come and see what I’ve got you, eh?
我带给你一件礼物, 庆祝我们的纪念日
I’ve brought you a present. This is our anniversary.
庆祝这三个月来的相互理解, 理查
Three months of mutual understanding, eh, Richard?
我邀请你担任餐厅的主厨已经三个月了
Three months since I first invited you to be my favourite restaurateur.
史毕卡先生, 这是一只鸭子
Mr Spica, this is a duck.
鸭子天生就有毛
Ducks are born with the feathers on
但这是你的餐厅, 史毕卡先生
but it’s your dinner, Mr Spica.
如果你希望不用拔毛就上菜
If you want the feathers to remain, we could try the dish,
我想, 我也会照办
I suppose, by leaving the feathers as they are.
火燎带毛鸭
Canard en ses plumes torche.
米丘, 你个蠢驴
Mitchel, you mule.
理查, 来看看嘛, 来
‘Ere, Richard, come and see, come on.
拜托, 我求你了, 来吧
Please, I beg you. Ha! Come on.
乔琪娜, 告诉你多少次在厨房♥别抽烟
Georgina, how many times have I told you? No smoking in the kitchen.
米丘, 快点滚下来, 快点
Mitchel, get your arse down here quick. Come on.
理查, 这是你的… 不, 是我们的招牌
Now, Richard, this is your… well, our new sign.
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da! ♪
你看!
Wallop!
我的老天!
Oh, God!
主厨
Richard.
餐厅一片漆黑 -没错, 菲利浦
It’s dark in the restaurant. -Yes, Phillipe.
餐厅一片漆黑, 这要感谢史毕卡先生的慷慨大方
Thanks to Mr Spica’s generosity, it is dark everywhere.
没有电, 就没有灯光
No power, no light.
你觉得今晚吃冷盘如何? -我不要吃冷盘
Were you thinking of a cold buffet tonight? -But I don’t want a cold buffet.
云雀肉饼佐菊苣酱 -云雀肉饼佐菊苣酱
Paté d’alouettes with a chicory sauce. -Paté d’alouettes with a chicory sauce.
砂锅小鸭肉 -砂锅小鸭肉
Terrine de caneton. -Terrine de canton.
冻火鸡佐柠檬及罗勒 -冻火鸡佐柠檬及罗勒
Cold turkey with lemon and basilica. -Cold turkey with the lemon and basilica.
蒜醋鳀鱼
Anchovies in garlic vinegar.
不要都是冷盘吧! 看在老天的份上, 餐厅有瓦斯
It doesn’t have to be cold, you’ve got gas, for God’s sake!
她的屁♥股♥像是, 袋子里面装了两个光滑的西瓜
Got an arse on her like two greased watermelons in a sack.
冻鸡、肉饼
Cold chicken, paté d’alouettes,
龙虾沙拉、格吕耶尔起司萝卜糕…
salade de langoustine, gâteau de carottes et Gruyére…
就是你, 快去把电箱修好, 米丘, 把电箱修好, 否则…
You. You put them electrics right, Mitchel. Put them electrics right or…
不准吃饭
You don’t eat.
不准吃饭
You don’t eat.
告诉你别抽烟
I told you not to smoke.
我应该别动吧, 史毕卡先生?
I should stand still, Mr Spica. Or who knows?
说不定我会搞坏东西, 或踩到东西
You might spoil something, put your foot in something.
好吧, 今晚的热食, 我想来点特别的…
So, a hot meal for tonight. Something special, please. How about some…
像是… 呃… 特制胡椒蛋糕
some, er, les oh d’oeuvres, er, gâteau au poivres,
呃… 砂锅菲力羔羊排佐孙露, 孙… 孙…
er, terrine et fillet lamb et poison au er, poi, poi…
是”松露” -你在说什么, 乔琪?
It’s “poisson”. -What did you say, Georgie?
你在说什么? 你在说什么?
What did you say? What did you say?
松露
Poisson.
史毕卡先生, 希望你已经饿了 -早就饿了, 进去吧, 伙子们
Well, Mr Spica, I hope you are hungry. -Always. Get in there, boys.
进去吧, 乔琪, 掀起你的裙子暖暖我的座位
Go on, Georgie, go in there, raise your skirts and warm my seat.
你觉得招牌如何? 你觉得呢?
Eh, what do you think then, eh? What do you?
史毕卡先生, 如果你浪费在装潢上的钱
If you spent as much money on the meal, Mr Spica,
用在饮食上
as you waste on the decor,
你对美食的品味一定会进步
your taste in good food must surely improve.
你不只一次激怒我, 柏斯特, 别忘了, 你要靠我
You’ll cheek me once too often, Boarst. You rely on me, don’t forget.
没有我, 你一个外国人, 是无法长久生存的
Without me, you, a foreigner, you wouldn’t last long around here.
看看外面我带给你的东西
Look out there, see what I’ve brought you.
两货车高级食材, 足以搭配你的厨房♥
Two vans full of good stuff, just right for your kitchen.
我不会用这些食材 -为什么不用?
I would not touch it. -Why on earth not?
我坚持自己采买♥♥食材, 史毕卡先生
I insist on buying my own food, Mr Spica.
如此才能确保品质
Then I can be sure of its quality.
我就代表品质, 我的名字就是品质
I represent quality round here, my name is known for it.
我提供品质, 还有保护
I offer quality and protection.
保护什么, 史毕卡先生?
Protection against what, I wonder, Mr Spica? And whom?
柏斯特, 保护你不被我那些暴躁的手下骚扰
Protection, Boarst, against the rash temper of my men.
保护你的厨房♥不会突然发生食物中毒
Against a sudden arrival of food poisoning.
保护你不会被鼠辈检举, 保护你不会被卫生稽查员检查
Against rats. Against the public health inspector.
如果你今晚饿了, 你必须等待
If you are hungry tonight, you are going to have to wait.